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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends goofing their way through the world the best they can. Join Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh as they cover the most important topics of the day, from 25 year-old film reviews to whether or not Andrew's neighbors are secretly using his garbage bins.

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tbtl.net

Episodes

#4835 Who Is Your Battery Daddy And What Does He Do?

Luke and Andrew discuss their approach to tidiness, drain cleaning, book organization and cohabitation as Luke considers a new phase of his life. 

2026-10-13
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#4834 I Was Saying "Boozardo"

Luke is processing his feelings after clashing with a friend during the Seahawks game yesterday. Andrew admits to writing in to a radio show to correct them on a commonly misused word. And a listener triesto offer alternatives for Luke and Andrew's most overly-used phrase. 

2026-10-12
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#4833 Mutiny, But In A Good Way

Luke is getting a little itchy about some online comments regarding one of his upcoming CBS stories. Andrew (and Listener Mark) correct the record regarding a controversial photo. Plus, something Luke said a few weeks ago has been living in Andrew's head, and they finally clear the air about it. And they both begrudgingly defend a Dodger's fan who's come under some criticism. 

2026-10-09
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#4832 Hot Buys In Your Area

Luke is dismayed about a photo of him that is being used to promote his upcoming appearance on the Omnibus podcast. Andrew also tries to help him come up with some good topics for that show. They also discuss senior photo shoots, a Costco settlement over misleading advertising, and Andrew's ongoing agony over many incorrect things he's said on the radio. 

2026-10-08
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#4831 Lying About Graphic Design Is My Passion

The new Sylvester Stallone film has Luke and Andrew discussing biopics in general and the old KOMO midday show Northwest Afternoons in particular. Plus, Andrew's most recent fight with a robot gets him and Luke examining their relationship with AI in a new light. And Andrew has some found footage that is both fascinating him and making him nervous. 

2026-10-07
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#4830 Fabuloso With Benefits

A beloved comedian's new satellite radio channel is stirring up trouble amongst his fellow performers. Plus, a child is taking the internet by storm with his passion for found toilet bowls. And Andrew and Luke discover they have very, very different reactions to being called "boss."

2026-10-06
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#4829 Fifty Shades Of Separation

Luke pulled an honest-to-gosh caper this weekend after running the Portland half marathon. Andrew makes a big personal discovery regarding the Dakotas. And they discuss the movie Digger's extremely poor showing at the box office this weekend. 

2026-10-05
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#4828 Case Klobed

Luke really enjoyed the new documentary about the history of concrete, but it also cemented his opinion about reserved seats in theaters. He and Andrew also clean out the TBTL Topic Fridge and discuss the senator who made a fool of himself trying to play gotcha, the "iced coffee during a job interview" debate, and the Abbott and Costello joke that's been bedeviling Andrew for 40 years. 

2026-10-02
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#4827 Sweet Child Of Minecraft

Luke and Andrew are absolutely delighted by Mike Tomlin's tour of his Minecraft world, which streamed live on YouTube last night. Plus, Luke loves Pablo Torre, but he has a nit to pick. 

2026-10-01
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#4826 It's Always Darkest Before The Don

Luke introduces Andrew to a whole new cleaning concept that appeals to him VERY MUCH. Luke also found himself in a Boston barbershop that Andrew wants to visit VERY MUCH. And they hear from a listener who shares her own personal story of public chagrin. 

2026-09-30
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#4825 Work Smarter, Not Garter

Luke and Andrew are weirdly delighted to hear about a longtime NFL coach's 12-year Minecraft project. They also discuss a Minnesota woman's massive collection of Wedding Crashers DVDs and what she's doing with the discs. Plus, Andrew is bummed to see one of his former happy places turn into a sad place. And he and Luke try to solve a classic radio-related mystery. 

2026-09-29
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#4824 Duck Duck Don't

A corporate dispute between a grocery store and an energy drink company somehow leads Andrew to invent a new cocktail he calls "The Zinger." Plus, Luke had a major meltdown at Great Clips in southern Washington over the weekend, so now he needs to find a place out-of-state to get a haircut. 

2026-09-28
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#4823 You Can't Handle The Tooth

Luke had a surprise visitor come to his home last night, and it was quite a trip. He and Andrew also try to discuss the NYT's list of the best television of the 21st century, but instead end up talking about an obscure sitcom from 1982 that history tried its best to forget. 

2026-09-25
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#4822 Blessed St. Benoodle Day

Luke's friend was scared out of her mind by a horrifying phone scam, which reminds Andrew of a recent hoax involving Bruce Valanch and an A.I. version of Terry Gross. They also discuss the ins-and-outs of the Seahawks head coach saying stuff on mic that he thought was private and why Tommy Tuberville is afraid of furries flying his airplane. 

Photo credit: John Mathew Smith 2001 (Creative Commons)

2026-09-24
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#4821 This Is The Droid I Was Looking For

Luke is wrapping up his time in LA with some disappointing run-ins with stinky Waymos and rude dog people. Andrew tells the story of the time he thought he had spiders living inside of him, and how it relates to robot torture . And we hear back from the truck driver who clogged a client's toilet…and what he did about it.

2026-09-23
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#4820 Droning Off And Off

Luke is stuck in LA not reporting on a story that seems to be hitting a dead-end. Andrew stumbles onto a controversy by enjoying the sound of pickleball. And speaking of noise complaints, a town in Texas is being overwhelmed by drones delivering Amazon packages.

2026-09-22
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#4819 Garage Sale Maturity

Andrew had an incredible Sunday filled with yard sales and football, but even that couldn't compete with the true pleasure he's been experiencing at his local home goods store. Luke had a surprisingly good time in Portland's most frivolous alleyway before running into a friend/celebrity. And they discuss the story  of a man who pepper-sprayed someone for using their phone in a movie theater. 

2026-09-21
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#4818 Howard's End

Luke sat down to watch the new HBO version of the Howard Stern show last night and has a lot of thoughts. Andrew's gearing up for what might be the best yard sale adventure of his life. They also discuss the Hyrox champion who pooped all over the place during her competition. And a listener needs some advice after a bathroom-related incident during a work call. 

2026-09-18
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#4817 It's Like I'm Having A Tea Party With Myself

Andrew has a huge mea culpa that he cannot wait to air out at the beginning of today's show. Plus, Luke might actually be official over the Howard Stern show for reasons Andrew can empathize with. And Luke is enjoying the online spectacle as Macklemore emerges as an unlikely hero after Ed Sheeran's tour dropped him from the bill. 

2026-09-17
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#4816 Inherent ICE

Luke gets some clarity on both the animal he saw on the riverbed yesterday and the animal he saw on his hotel's logo. Meanwhile, Andrew had an encounter outside his house that he won't soon forget. 

2026-09-16
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#4815 Wood You Beave Me Alone?

Luke joins the show from his future home of Stowe, Vermont, where he made friends with a woodchuck yesterday. Or maybe it was a beaver. Or was it a muskrat? Plus, Andrew's dreamscapes are expanding to include TBTL listeners, and that seems like a dangerous game. 

2026-09-15
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#4814 Tussin Up A Storm

Luke is in Vermont after learning that Florida's lawnmower races aren't really about lawnmowers anymore. Meanwhile, Andrew is toughing out an old fashioned head cold -- they likes of which he hasn't had in a long, long time. 

2026-09-14
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#4813 Beats By Drew

Luke and Andrew finally catch up on this week's exciting Seahawk's Seahawks game and, of course, the State Of The Text Thread. Meanwhile, Luke is in Orlando, where his concierge is catching him up on the latest King of the Hill happenings. And Andrew engages in some *light* larceny during the show. 

2026-09-11
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#4812 Who Is Your Crawdaddy And What Does He Do?

Luke is on his way to Florida, but before he catches his flight, Andrew has him take the New York Times' dialect quiz to see how well the data can pinpoint where Luke is from. 

2026-09-10
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#4811 And Asimov Wept

Andrew found himself shocked halfway through a conversation with someone whom he *thought* was a sales rep yesterday. Plus, he and Luke are more and more amped for the new Nathan Fielder documentary about Elizabeth Holmes. 

2026-09-09
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#4810 Fair Enough

Luke discusses how his love of sitting intersected with his trip to the Oregon State Fair yesterday…and how a Red Dawn-esque dance routine killed the vibes. Plus, Andrew announces several upcoming Ten meetups in the latest installment of the TBTL Community Calendar. 

2026-09-08
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#4809 Audio Dysmorphia

Luke and Andrew both had public appearances scheduled for Friday, and they check-in to find out how everything went. Plus, Luke's gearing up for a fun Labor Day at the fair. And Nathan Fielder reveals a new documentary he's been secretly working on. 

Photo: "Root vegetables" by Alex Lomas

2026-09-07
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#4808 There Are Three Kyles Inside You

Luke is doing stand up comedy in front of thousands of people tonight, and he is very nervous on a number of levels. He and Andrew discuss the damage that human urine is causing on Mt. Everest -- and whether or not that also applies to their own backyards. 

2026-09-04
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#4807 Bikumon Barista

Andrew is excited to reconnect with his and Luke's former colleague on the radio tomorrow. Luke is enjoying his new iPod more than he thought he might. And they're both trying to use MapQuest after Google Maps (once again) fails to have any integrity under the Trump regime. 

2026-09-03
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#4806 A Slurp Of Seattle

Luke bought something off the TikTok store that is both exciting and -- if he's being honest -- not particularly useful. Andrew has an update on the Seattle grocery bagging competition after accidentally doing some journalism yesterday. And they discuss the music rights case between Stella Lefty and Noah Kahan -- and how the internet is reacting. 

2026-09-02
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#4805 The Legend Of Bagger Walsh

Andrew is frustrated in his attempts to track down the details of a local grocery bagging competition. He also got a discount on the biggest sausage ever sold west of the Mississippi. Meanwhile, Luke is getting a lot of heat in the comments section of a TikTok video. And a listener offers great advice on washing machine maintenance. 

2026-09-01
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#4804 Three Bros, Jaboting It Up!

Jon joins the show so he and Luke can open the special packages that listener Summer sent to them. Plus, Luke is obsessed with the story of a scammer who convinced his victims that he was a professional NFL player. Jon highly recommends the new show Lanterns, while Luke highly recommends the old show Bored to Death. And Andrew explains how his kitchen almost caught fire over the weekend. 

2026-08-31
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#4803 A Murder Of Grapes

The seasons are juuuust beginning to change, and Luke and Andrew have differing feelings about that. Plus, Andrew is 5 months into dog ownership and is now ready to start doling out  advice. And Luke has to solve a pizza shop-related mystery in order to win an argument with his daughter. 

2026-08-28
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#4802 The Terraced Watch List

Luke and Andrew discuss how they are the polar opposites when it comes to home ownership. Luke has also been catching up on Hard Knocks and really enjoying it. Meanwhile, Andrew is playing dangerous games with his computer drivers.  

Photo by Fabrice Floren

 

2026-08-27
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#4801 Aye Aye Aye Don't Know About That

Luke and Andrew discuss all the coverage they've been seeing and hearing about Dolly Parton and how it's touching and inspiring them. They also talk about Luke's uncomfortable relationship with the 2026 Seattle Mariners and an uncomfortable moment Andrew had at the ballpark the other night. 

2026-08-26
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#4800 The Dispeptic Podiatrist

Jon joins Luke and Andrew for a special "Save the Date" announcement regarding TBTL's 5000th episode celebration. They also celebrate the fact that they're officially better podcasters than Megan and Harry. And they learn the  incredibly sad news that Dolly Parton passed away at age 80. 

2026-08-25
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#4799 The Dishwasher That Won The War!

Luke accidentally found himself staying in a hotel with ties to a cult. He and Andrew also discuss some of Mitch Hurwitz's lesser known projects and a Richard Dreyfus vehicle that should have never, ever seen the light of day. And Luke has found a way to look at life through rose-colored glasses; All he had to do was purchase special glasses. 

2026-08-24
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#4798 Let's Go Budden

Luke and Andrew review Forbes' top twenty list of the highest paid podcasters. They are not on the list. Yet.

2026-08-21
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#4797 Dereliction Of Doody

TBTL Friendo Phyllis "P-Fletch" Fletcher joins the show to talk sandwiches, invasive medical procedures, and Andrew's secret desire to have a pedicure in an underground location. Plus, listener Carolyn sends in some TBTL archival tape that ended up being quite prescient, and Andrew proves to be the hero that he's always considered himself to be. 

2026-08-20
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#4796 Hot-Button Tissue

Luke and Andrew discuss their dislike of people using foul language in text, only to edit themselves with asterisks. They also hear from listeners who want to weigh-in on Andrew's tissue issue. And Luke receives a TBTL pitch that's just too good to ignore. 

2026-08-19
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#4795 I'll Have A Dangerwhich With A Nutbar Chaser, Please

Luke and Andrew share some seasonal recipes before turning to a special, listener-generated Skyjinx segment. One listener needs advice after an airlines jerked them around, while another has a story that has Luke and Andrew on the  edge of their seats. 

2026-08-18
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#4794 THE RELAXATION SUPERSTORE!

Luke rushes into the studio after dealing with a appliance emergency that could have been so, so bad had he caught it any later.  Plus, Andrew shows off all the special incense he just got in the mail. And a special TBTL Friendo is featured in a long-awaited edition of What's In The Box?

2026-08-17
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#4793 All About That Treble

Luke and Andrew run some Google experiments after Andrew received an alarming search result regarding hamburgers. Also, Andrew still can't seem to maintain a successful  relationship with a phone scammer, no matter how hard he tries. 

Image by crazy-fae via Diviant Art

2026-08-14
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#4792 Dirty Rotten Sound-drels

Genevieve joins the show to discuss her undying love of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and why she feels the world deserved a sequel. She and Andrew also try  their hand at a "Sounds of Seattle" quiz created by a TBTL listener famous for his audio work.  

2026-08-13
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#4791 Cardio-Asscular Technology

Luke and Andrew discuss two amazing pieces of modern technology: A batting cage computer that lets you virtually face any MLB pitcher, and a toilet seat that can tell you if you're at risk of a heart attack. Andrew only wants one of these things. 

2026-08-12
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#4790 We Need 9 CCs of Confidence, Stat!

Luke and Andrew watch an umpire age in almost-real time with some help from the geniuses at Jomboy media. Plus, a listener email prompts Luke to go toe-to-toe with a professional Dr. Seuss narrator to see who does it better. 

2026-08-11
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#4789 Big Getz

Luke and Andrew stumble on a mystery regarding TBTL and Luke's old NPR show, The Bryan Park Project. And speaking  of Bryant  Park coincidences, they have a very apropos edition of "What's In The Box?!" to share. 

2026-08-10
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#4788 I'll Never Be Your Beast Of Bernie

Luke has a shirtless encounter with a door-to-door salesman while Andrew develops a fast-moving relationship with a telephone scammer named Luna. They also discuss Russell Wilson and Tony Romo's respective futures in the broadcast booth. 

2026-08-07
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#4787 Jangin' With Mr. Jooper

Luke and Andrew discuss some funny shenanigans going on in major league baseball lately, including a pitcher who leaps and laughs with the best of them. Plus, Luke pits Andrew against Ben Affleck in a battle over turkey names. And a community theater production is cancelled after a surprising culprit starts sending in fake threats. 

2026-08-06
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#4786 Schrodinger That Cat!

Luke's night at a humble political fundraiser lifted his spirits. He and Andrew also discuss last night's debut of Hard Knocks, which did not disappoint in the cringy pun category. And Andrew learns that his dog, Lucy, has something common with Luke, and that might prove to be a problem. 

2026-08-05
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