Idris Elba jumped off my nightstand at three o'clock in the morning.

Ten minutes before my alarm. Which was also set for three o'clock in the morning, because I had that much work to get to. There is nothing in that room that can fall, and I lay there in the dark going "what?"

So Kyle and I went looking for the piece, under nightstands that have about an eight-inch gap at the bottom.

⏱️ Chapters

00:00:00 I named my CPAP Idris Elba

00:00:11 3am: the thunk

00:00:45 The clip is broken

00:01:28 One plastic clip is my entire edge

00:01:58 Under the nightstand

00:02:27 I am leaving the dust bunnies

00:02:46 Kyle was not leaving the dust bunnies

00:03:15 Vacuuming at 11pm

Every time I talk publicly about being a woman at work, the first response is the same. It’s never "that sounds hard." It’s "well, I had a terrible boss once, and she was a woman."

Yeah. Okay. Women are allowed to suck, too. Plenty of men suck and we just accept that as fine.

So this episode is about the two women you’re allowed to be in a workplace that was not built for you. The one who shrinks to fit — who gets told she’s too big, too loud, too many ideas, and folds all of it up inside herself, hands her ideas to somebody else so they’ll get heard, stops saying the thing she knows is going to go wrong. And the one who strikes to kill — who was taught there’s only ever room for one of her, so she leaves no space for the next one coming up behind.

They’re the same woman. Same message, two ways out. You are not allowed here, you should feel lucky we let you in, and if you’re uncomfortable with how we do things then you should shut up or leave.

I’ve talked to thousands of women over the last five years who live inside that, and I lived inside it myself. I’m the person who had to hand her idea to the nearest male coworker because it would be taken seriously from him and ignored from me.

All of that is evidence of a problem with the workplace. It is not evidence of a problem with you.

You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated. Nobody is going to make them do the work to find out why you’re such a threat, so you’re going to stay a threat — but you do not have to make yourself smaller to fix something you didn’t break. You’ve been the same person the whole time.

You are not too much. They are not enough.

Plus: breaking news on the semicolon rant, in which four actual English professors turn up to tell me I was right. And an Ask L2 from Kieran, who wants an exemption from the don’t-fight-with-pigs rule for a pig who owes him $4,000.

CHAPTERS

00:00:00 "You are not allowed here"

00:00:23 Welcome to You’re Not Too Much

00:00:37 What always happens when I talk about women at work

00:01:08 Women are allowed to suck, too

00:01:46 I wish you the success of the mediocre white male

00:02:25 Persona one: the woman who shrinks to fit

00:04:13 Persona two: the woman who strikes to kill

00:05:09 Both of those are the same thing

00:06:37 Thousands of women, same paradigm

00:07:57 Give it to your nearest male coworker

00:08:19 A problem with the workplace, not a problem with you

00:08:28 You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated.

00:09:03 What you actually owe a job you need

00:09:44 You are not too much

00:10:04 They are not enough

00:10:57 Do enough to survive, then find a place that doesn’t suck

00:11:05 Ten thousand levers you don’t need to pull

00:11:20 You’ve been the same person the whole time

00:11:55 Your five to nine is better than your nine to five

00:12:03 A toxic waste dump and no hazmat suit

00:12:31 What professionalism actually means

00:12:57 Why the show is now called You’re Not Too Much

00:13:25 Breaking news: the semicolon rant, vindicated

00:15:26 Ask L2 — "This pig owes me $4,000"

00:16:37 You can have whatever tone you want

00:17:15 The strongly worded email

Every episode: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com

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I heard the Fed Ex van.

Which means my husband bought something else stupid.

P.S. If you are the household's designated Reasonable Adult — the one doing the mental maths on everybody else's impulse purchases — this is a very short episode to let you know you are very seen.

Right. Semicolons.

There is one rule of semicolons. I wonder if you can guess what that is. I was a journalism major and the first time my professor taught us the situations where a semicolon is appropriate, I put my hand up and told him the only rule is don't. If you disagree you may want to skip this episode. But not before you bite me.

But that's just one of the things we have for this week, friends.

We walked out of the house to go and get french fries and there was a car two houses down that didn't look right. When we tracked the skid marks back to their origin, we quickly found out why.

I'll tell you all about Carlos.

Spoiler alert, this story is not going where you think it is.

Then Ask L2, from Ray: everyone tells him the money's in the room, but the room is two hundred people, a buffet and compulsory eye contact. Is there a version of networking that doesn't involve the room? Grab a pen. I have the lesson plan for you.

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Same show, same me, new name on the door. If your app says You're Not Too Much and you were looking for Different, Not Broken — you're in the right place, nothing has changed except the sign.

There's that saying that all roads lead to Rome. In my life, all roads lead back to my dad.

If there's something annoying I do, it came from him. If there's something good I do, it came from him too. I'm good at business because he was abhorrent at it — I took over his practice at 21 because it was a mess and that is not how you're supposed to do anything. He was also the best doctor I have ever met, and I don't say that because he was my dad. Sometimes those two things don't go together.

August 21st, he will have been gone for ten years. We recorded this two days out.

Here's the thing about ten years. In the first week I remember thinking there was no way we would ever get here — that I could not be a person for a decade without him, that it was structurally impossible. Except I'm here. And I have a ten-year-old who got six weeks with him, and who was six weeks early, which is a level of detail the universe did not have to include and included anyway.

There's an idea that you survive grief. That you get to the other side of it.

There is no other side of grief. It doesn't end. It doesn't stop. Some days it might as well be the day it happened, and some days are worse.

My grief is not smaller. I've just grown around it. The life around him got so much bigger that it takes up less of my brain — but he's still at the middle of it, I still talk about him like he's here, he's still in every decision I make, and he still drives me fricking crazy, which I assume is the job.

I tell you about the drive to get everybody dinner, the first time I'd properly been alone since he died, and asking out loud into an empty car for anything at all. And what was in the text box on my phone when I picked it up again. I didn't type it. I'm not a woo-woo afterlife person. I'm just telling you what was there.

And I leave you with my youngest, who asked what Pop Pop's real name was, found out how Jewish naming works, and reached a conclusion I could not argue with.

Ten years. He hasn't left. Here's to a long time more of missing him.

This one is about my dad, and about grief. If today isn't the day for that, it'll still be here when it is.

🎧 You're Not Too Much — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout and being human.

📞 Leave me a voicemail: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

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Same feed. Same me. New name.

If you subscribed to Different, Not Broken, you're in the right place and there is nothing for you to do — this show is now called You're Not Too Much, and it lives on the Different, Not Broken Network alongside everything else we're building. Same host, same voicemail line, same everything. Just a name that finally says what the show has always been about.

Now. On to it.

There are extremely good reasons not to start a business. You have a job. You don't want the stress, the minutia, the responsibility. You have a non-compete. You have bills, and in the US you have health insurance to think about. All of that is valid and I am not one of those people who acts like having a job is embarrassing. If you're paying your bills and taking care of your people, you're doing the right thing.

But if the reason you're not betting on yourself is what somebody else might think — that's not a reason.

What other people think about you is not your business. What they say when you're not in the room has nothing to do with you. And in my experience the people who actually matter don't have the time or the calories to hold an opinion about what you're doing that isn't a positive one. If a negative one does turn up, it's a two-second blip and then they've forgotten and gone back to their day.

So the critic you're performing for is imaginary. You built him. Tell him to get bent and get to work.

In this one: why "I don't have the connections" is the easiest problem on the list, why the referrals that actually land come from people nowhere near your industry, the fact that someone less qualified than you is already getting paid to teach the thing you know better, what networking is and very much is not, and my new career in bowling alley maintenance — a field I invented mid-sentence and now urgently need to know about.

Then Ask L2, which is what Small Talk is called now. Deborah writes in: she hired someone to take the admin off her plate and has spent three weeks secretly redoing their work at midnight. Bad boss, or bad delegator?

Not a bad boss. Possibly a bad delegator. There's a difference, it's fixable, and I go through exactly how — including how people successfully manage me, which takes a lot, and the employee I genuinely loved who was in completely the wrong job.

Space expands. Let's fill it.

— Voicemail line — Ask L2, brags, fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

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— What The Fractional: https://whatthefractional.com/

Okay. Big news and I want to get the important part out of the way in the first line: nothing you’re subscribed to breaks. Same host, same feed, same weekly nonsense. You don’t have to do anything.

Here’s what’s actually happening.

We’ve been doing this for over a year. In that time, the person who was most resistant to this podcast — a podcast that was, and I cannot stress this enough, her own idea — started building podcasts for other people.

We’re also, apparently, in the top 40 on the Apple charts.

So it's time there’s a network now.

Different, Not Broken becomes the DNB Network — a home for a batch of new shows, all built on the same idea: authoritative people who are also, genuinely, credible. And sometimes freakin' hilarious.

One launches immediately and several are behind it, and you’ll meet those hosts as we bring them in.

And to make room for all of that, this show gets a new name.

We are becoming You’re Not Too Much.

I’m excited and scared and then excited again.

But so many of us have spent our whole lives being told we’re too much — too loud, too direct, too sensitive, too something — and we’re not. You’re not. You’re perfect exactly the way you are. You’re not too much, and you are at the same time enough.

That’s the name. That’s the whole reason for the name.

Same feed. Same host. New stupid stuff, plus all the old stupid stuff. Every week, sometimes more than once.

—

🎧 You’re Not Too Much, a Different, Not Broken podcast — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout and being human.

📞 Leave me a voicemail (Ask L2, brags, fights): https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

💬 Come fight me in the Quirky community (it’s free): https://alwaysquirky.com

🌐 Everything else: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com

I broke the sacred Pact of Daughters. I let my mother run out of Equal.

That is the funny half. Here’s the other half.

My mother lives two blocks away, alone. She falls. I don’t let her drive. Her home health company didn’t show up for ten days and neither of them thought to tell me.

On Saturday she sent me to voicemail.

At four in the morning, my husband was standing next to the bed telling me my mother had called him — not me.

So the thing I kept telling myself wouldn’t happen, happened. And I don’t know what we do now.

Raising parents is 1,000 times harder than raising children, and I will die on that hill. And this week's episode is digesting all of this, and wondering what this crazy timeline has lined up for us next.

Then Alison brings a Small Talk from Nada, who raised her rates 40% and needed help with processing that.

But yeah, The sandwich generation is not for the faint of heart.

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My mother has had a serious health issue for six months.

Nobody treated it.

It was in her chart. Six studies confirmed it. Ten doctors saw her this year, and every one of them told her to lose weight.

Here’s the thing. She wasn’t eating. Not “eating less” — not eating, for days at a time, and still gaining weight in places she had never gained weight before. Sleeping all day. Couldn’t walk the way she used to. Couldn’t breathe.

And every appointment ended the same way. Lose weight. Exercise more. You’re getting older.

She could have died. And it would not have been her body’s fault. It would have been someone’s.

I work in healthcare. I know what to look for, I speak the jargon, I know which doors to knock on and whose favour to call in. It still took six months and a twenty-dollar device from Walmart.

So what happens to the woman who doesn’t know any of that?

This one is angry. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

And then Alison brings a Small Talk from Brianna, who wants to know whether her big, loud, takes-up-the-whole-room ADHD joy was ever actually the problem — or whether the problem was just people who couldn’t hold it. That one I had an answer for immediately.

🎧 Different, Not Broken — honest, funny, occasionally furious conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, healthcare and being a person - https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/

📞 Leave me a voicemail (small talk, brags, fights): https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

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The CEO said something shitty to me at 8:00 in the morning and I resigned by 8:30. There was no plan. There was no thought process. There was just a body that physically could not do it for one more day.

So I called a family member. Someone who owns a business, has owned one for years, who understands small business, who had let me call and cry through every terrible month of that job. In my mind I was talking to exactly the right person.

I told them I didn't think I could go back to work. That I thought I had to find a way to work for myself. That I didn't know what that looked like, but I thought I could do it.

And they said: no. That's a terrible idea.

Every ounce of cobbled-together confidence I'd scraped up in the days since — gone. All the air went out of the universe. What I heard was I don't think you should bet on yourself.

I don't think that's what they meant. But that's what I heard.

This episode is what came after. The consulting company that started completely by accident. The job I took because someone who loved me told me it was what I was supposed to do. The boss who told me "it's not if you get it, it's when" during early COVID, while I was the primary caretaker for my mom, who had just had an organ transplant. The fact that I have spent years remembering that I quit that job when actually — I've just realised — they fired me.

Which is fine, by the way. Getting fired gets a bad rap. Let someone pay you to go away. There is no greater joy in life.

Six years on, I make significantly more than the person who told me not to start my own business. I don't say that to brag. I say it because somebody else's faith in you should not be the thing that decides whether you bet on yourself. Even people who love you will give you bad advice. Even people who know their own business very well might not know yours. Take in opinions. Let them influence your perception. Don't let them make the decision.

Then Alison brings a Small Talk from Tamara in Louisiana, whose son was diagnosed autistic at five. Her mother-in-law said she was letting doctors label him. Her father said she was looking for excuses. Her husband believed it immediately and has been his biggest champion ever since. She asked: how do you love someone who won't do the work of understanding the person you love most?

Don't sit at the table with them.

I have an infinite amount of love and a finite amount of space. The love is awarded whether you want it or not — once I give it to you, I don't take it back. The space is awarded on a merit system, and you have to earn it.

You are worth betting on. I would bet on you. So you should bet on you too.

🎧 Different, Not Broken — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout, and being a person.

📞 Leave me a voicemail — Small Talk, brags, fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

💬 Come argue with us in the Quirky community (it's free): https://alwaysquirky.com

Learn more: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com

Contains strong language.

I woke up in the middle of the night, checked my phone, and read that Lindsey Graham died. My brain, naturally, read it as Mitch McConnell — because who among us can tell them apart — and from there the whole weekend was just political whiplash.

This one is a tour of the chaos of this timeline. A senator had been missing for almost a month. They said he was "working remotely," and I said, yeah, me too, the only difference is I'm just dead inside. His wife left the country. Contractors were redoing his floors. And I had a lot of questions that nobody was interested in answering, so I did what I do: I made it funny.

Somewhere in there I decided "The Dead Senators" would make an excellent throwback band name (the genre, obviously, is French Regency punk with banjos — a punk rock minuet), I invited everyone to come fight me in our Quirky community, where the Daily Fights have already established that the only acceptable pen is a Pilot V10 in purple and the jury is still out on whether a hot dog is a taco.

And then the part that matters most. A Small Talk from Kristen in North Carolina: "I'm a 38-year-old woman with ADHD, and I look fine. From the inside, I'm running 40 browser tabs, three of which are on fire, and I haven't replied to a text from my sister in 11 days. I want someone to say out loud that looking fine and being fine are not the same thing."

So here it is, out loud: they are not the same thing, and you are allowed to be a put-together human on the outside and a hot mess on the inside. Nobody has it together. Nobody knows what they're doing. We are all raw-dogging life with no guidebook — least of all a guidebook for this exact timeline — and the sooner we stop pretending otherwise, the better.

🎧 Different, Not Broken — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout, and being human.

📞 Leave me a voicemail (small talk, brags, fights): https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Learn more: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com

Contains strong language and political commentary.

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I keep getting thanked by restaurant staff. Not for tipping well. For not screaming at them.

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard (you can call me L2) and this is my podcast Different, Not Broken - which is about exactly that.

This one covers a lot of ground: why service staff now brace for impact over an overcooked salmon, why I tipped extra for honesty, and — since the outrage economy makes no sense to me — why Taylor Swift's wedding has the internet in a chokehold while Donald Trump has made $2 billion he can hold in his disgusting sweaty fat hands and nobody seems to care.

What starts with an inedible salmon at Chili's, and a misplaced pizza descends into the Taylor Swift wedding outrage — the double standard around wealthy women being self-indulgent, and where I think our collective anger would be far better spent.

Plus, in Small Talk: Priya from Oregon has been the planner friend her whole life.

📞 Leave me a voicemail: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

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This is what happens when your brain runs out of RAM.

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard (you can call me L2) and this is my podcast Different, Not Broken - which is about exactly that.

My mom is in the hospital. Again.

My kids are at camp for the first time ever.

My co-worker Vanessa's grandmother fell.

Kyle's eye is still a thing.

And I have exactly zero bandwidth left for anything — including, apparently, remembering that not everyone knows my mom's transplanted kidney's nickname.

The nephrologist found out the hard way. He's fine. Kidney Poitier is fine. I am questionable.

In this episode, I tell you about the nurse who pretended she needed help from my mom — a former phlebotomist — just to get her brain working and make her feel useful in that hospital bed.

I ugly-cried a little on the inside.

Then I talk about the moment my filter completely abandoned me mid-conversation with a medical professional.

And then Alison brings us a Small Talk question from Opal in Georgia, who's been close with her best friend for 26 years and is starting to feel like she gives more than she gets.

Brain full. Filter gone. Heart kind of full, too. Let's get into it.

New episodes every Wednesday. Find them all at differentnobrokenpodcast.com.

My oldest turns 10 this week, which is rude and kind of bullshit, and I will accept no part of it. She did not ask my permission.

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. Some people call me L2. You can too if you want. This is my podcast "Different, Not Broken" which is about exactly that.

In this episode, I take you back to exactly 10 years ago — the Thursday night when a weird feeling turned into a labor story I was absolutely not ready for, including the shower incident. (You’ll know when you get there.)

Then we get into what I’m calling Furniture Fuckery: the story of why my home office carpet smelled like funky ass dog for a decade, how it took me 10 years to buy a desk I first saw when we bought this house, and how Manny — a furniture store salesperson on his very first day — accidentally became the emotional highlight of my weekend.

Alison joins for this week’s Small Talk to answer Kevin from Rhode Island, who is already spiraling about his upcoming high school reunion. We talk comparison culture, social media highlight reels, and why nobody — and I mean nobody — has their shit together. Not even the people who look like they do.

I have lots of excellent things available for you to buy in my Stan Store so you should probably go do that at https://stan.store/elletwo

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I am not generally a catastrophizer.I can see worst-case scenarios in almost any situation — and I'm usually right. But I'm always happy to be wrong. I just... don't get the opportunity that often.

This week's episode is exactly the kind of chaos that makes me me.

It starts with the NY Knicks winning the NBA Championship (for which I personally deserve significant credit, having been invested in their success for approximately 46 milliseconds).

Five minutes later, something happened to my house that I was absolutely certain was the beginning of global nuclear war.

Then I tell you about Stephen Colbert's series finale, Paul McCartney walking out onto the Ed Sullivan stage, and the exact moment I became a puddle of tears on the floor — because some feelings are genetic, and the Beatles are one of mine.

And in Small Talk, Alison answers a question from Brianna in Tennessee, who's spent years being told she's "too much." Too direct. Too blunt. Too honest.

Hi friends. I'm Lauren Howard, and this is my podcast Different, Not Broken.

I did so much peopling in one single Sunday that I genuinely lost track of what week it was. A makeup class. Brunch at a place that charges $30 for an omelette and somehow recommends the cheeseburger. My mom’s birthday dinner at the Melting Pot. The balloon bouquet she hates. Venmoing at the table because I’m very Gen Z apparently. All of it, start to finish, until I got home at 6:30pm and was absolutely cooked.

If that sounds familiar—if you also left a room full of strangers and had to run a silent internal audit of whether you were being annoying—this episode is for you.

Also, Alison shares a question from Alejandro in New Mexico, who graduated with his bachelor’s at 37 and can’t stop doing the math on the years he considers “lost.”

Welcome to another episode of Different, Not Broken, the podcast that dives deep into the beauty of being different and the myth of brokenness. I’m Lauren Howard, and today I’m joined by the inimitable Cindy Gallop—renowned brand builder, outspoken public speaker, and founder of Make Love Not Porn. In this candid conversation, we talk about the challenges and triumphs of showing up authentically in a world that’s constantly trying to put us and our voices into boxes.

You’ll hear us discuss what it means to speak your truth—and why the world desperately needs authentic voices now more than ever. From navigating criticism and resiliency to the unique struggles faced by women labeled as “difficult,” this episode is filled with practical wisdom and unfiltered encouragement. Plus, we tackle questions about emotional labor and the importance of asking for help, reminding all of us that being the “strong one” doesn’t mean carrying it all alone.

Buckle up for some honest advice, permission to take a break, and a much-needed pep talk for anyone doubting the value of their voice.

And in this week's Small Talk, Alison shares a question from Jenna in New York.

Potatoes, cat tongues, and sandpaper skin—let’s talk food aversions, texture nightmares, and why maybe it’s totally fine to be a grown adult who can’t stand an apple.

This week on Different, Not Broken, I go fully public with a truth: I am not a picky eater. I am… let’s say, texture specific. I will sample almost anything—once. What happens afterward is between me, my gag reflex, and whatever unholy thing just brushed across my taste buds. Mashed potatoes? Yes. Potatoes in soup? Get them away from me. Tomato sauce? Great! Raw tomato? Why do you hate me? Apple slices? Hard pass. Apple juice? Sign me up. Oranges are a war zone, but orange juice is fine—just keep the strings (and the heartburn) far, far away.

Are these food preferences weird? Yes. Am I objectively a successful adult nonetheless? Also yes. Even if I can’t finish a plate of beans without gagging while my kids, in a spectacular twist of parental fate, will eat literally anything with stoic enthusiasm.

It’s not just about food, though. We blend the personal with the professional this episode. Our guest is the incomparable Dr. Sipra Laddha, CEO of Luna Joy, mental health advocate, and my literal first phone call when I decided to build my practice. We tackle the idea of “competition” in women’s mental health spaces (spoiler: the real competition is the broken system, not each other) and how collaboration—not cutthroat tactics—moves everyone forward.

Thinking of launching your own thing but stuck on knowing whether venture capital and bootstrapping are just buzzwords for other people? We’ve lived both sides. Sipra and I compare paths: raising millions in venture funding (which is about as glamorous as microwaving leftovers, more or less) versus scraping resources together and building from the ground up. Both are exhausting. Both are possible. Both come with landmines only those who have actually been in the room can describe.

Maybe you’ve never considered what it’s like to be the only woman—sometimes the only woman of color—pitching life-or-death solutions to a room full of people who need to check with their wives to know what postpartum depression is. Spoiler: you end up not only knowing you belong in those rooms, but also knowing you’ve got something the rest of the room literally cannot bring.

Still deciding if Different, Not Broken is your kind of podcast? If you’ve ever:

Then hit play. If nothing else, you’ll leave feeling a little less alone in your quirks, and maybe with exactly the push you need to find your own sandbox—and fill it with the right people.

Plus, in Small Talk: a former Marine writes in about random, emotional tears in middle age. Why does softness sneak up on us, and what does it mean to finally drop the armor and just feel? Spoiler: it isn’t weakness.

Listen in. We save room for you—no tomatoes required.

Find out more about Sipra here: https://sipraladdhamd.com/

My kids were supposed to be gone for three days.

Three days turned into eleven. I had the house to myself, figured out who I am without background chaos, and managed to function like an actual adult person.

Then they came home. And then everyone got norovirus.

This week I'm walking through the Mother's Day that was the Mother's Dayest Mother's Day of any Mother's Day ever recorded — and one that was so chaotic, I've only just recovered from it enough to talk about it!

Then Alison joins for Small Talk with a question from Tammy in Montana — a florist who built a real, thriving business from scratch, but whose mom still calls it "a phase."

Keep the appointment.

I know. You feel better. You made the appointment when you were really struggling, and now things aren't so bad and it feels unnecessary. You're fine. Probably. Maybe.

Here's the thing about neurodivergent brains: they're really good at reaching for help in a crisis, and really good at talking themselves out of it the second the crisis passes. A 24-hour improvement is not a support system. It's just the top of the roller coaster.

In this episode, I talk about why you need to keep the appointment even when you feel fine — especially when you feel fine.

PLUS: I tell you about the book my dad never finished that I'm going to finish for him someday. It's about Betsy Ross, who apparently owned a brothel, not a sewing circle. History is a lot.

AND in Small Talk: Alison shares a question from to Marcus in Chicago, who canceled plans, had a perfect solo day (soup, documentary about bridges, no pants), and then felt guilty about every second of it.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00:57 — Dad's Unfinished Book: Betsy Ross's Drawing Room

00:03:07 — The Instruction: Keep the Appointment

00:04:19 — Why We Cancel (When We Finally Start to Feel Better)

00:07:33 — The Roller Coaster: High Points Don't Last

00:08:06 — Build the Support System Before You Need It

00:09:28 — Small Talk: Marcus from Chicago on Canceled Plans and Guilt

Here's the thing about asking for help: the ask itself is the labor. And I learned that the hard way during the two worst weeks of my life.

My youngest came eight weeks early. I'd just had a C-section. We were running back and forth to the NICU, trying to care for a two-year-old at home, healing from surgery, and keeping an entire life running on fumes. People kept asking, "What can we do?" And we kept saying, "We're fine." Not because we were fine. Because figuring out what to ask for was just as much work as doing it ourselves.

And then a woman showed up at my door without warning, without asking, and handed me a gift I'll never forget. And it was the most incredibly simple but caring one imaginable.

This episode is also about what happens when I stop talking — which, if you know me, is significantly more terrifying than anything that comes out of my mouth.

I talk about productive yelling, why silence in our house is a five-alarm situation, and the very Italian way my in-laws communicate.

And in this week's Small Talk, Alison shares a question from Darnell in Atlanta.

Mentioned in this episode:

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"I sold my company. I guess technically we're still in the process, but it's done. The thing I built from scratch. The dream I lay in bed and imagined. Done."

That alone would be a whole episode. But there's more.

In this episode, I'm talking about the 120 days that changed me on a molecular level — because that's not an exaggeration. My mom got sick. The burnout was real. The lights were staying on, but barely. And then a news story hit my phone that I was not prepared for.

It involves an IVF clinic we used eight years ago for our youngest daughter.

I'm not ready to share everything, and there are things I legally can't say. But I want you to know where I've been, mentally, with this whole *gestures arms wildly at everything*.

And I want you to know that sometimes the thing that brings you to your knees has absolutely nothing to do with your business, your calendar, or your capacity — and everything to do with something you didn't see coming.

Maybe not all men. But what do we do when a site has 62 million hits originating from lots of them?

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. I go by "L2" and this week I'm going full Winter Soldier mode. You know that scene in Captain America where they say the trigger phrase and Bucky Barnes just... activates? Yeah, that's me. Every. Single. Time. someone types "not all men" in my comments.

We're talking about the 62 million hits logged on a website that existed to teach people how to s*xually assault women.

For context: Sony's entire website gets 24 million hits a month.

So let's not pretend the numbers are somehow ambiguous here.

We also get into the prototype employee — the 45-year-old white man that every workplace policy, dress code, and promotion pipeline has been quietly built around — and what that means for literally everyone else.

Timestamped summary

The news broke me. The murder shows stopped working. So I watched a month of college basketball I do not care about, and it was the only thing keeping my nervous system upright.

In this episode I'm unpacking three things:

→ Why "distraction" is an actual mental health strategy, and why sportsball was the weirdly perfect antidote to doomscrolling.

→ A very clear message for anyone whose job is chewing them up: You are an asset, not a liability. Burnout culture is not only cruel, it's bad business. The math on replacing good employees is brutal, and your workplace being too short-sighted to see that has nothing to do with your value.

→ Small Talk Frank from Scranton wants to know why he can't relax into stability.

If you needed to hear "this isn't you, it's them" today — hi, it's them.

00:00 Cold open: You are an asset, not a liability

00:38 Hi, I'm L2 — welcome back to Different, Not Broken

01:05 Why I always have something on in the background (blame childhood chaos)

02:04 When the murder shows stopped working

03:00 The news broke me

03:43 Basketball as my zero-stakes sanity reset

04:48 Accidentally Pavlov'd by March Madness

05:54 The women's games are better, argue with the wall

06:35 Gratitude for dumb distractions

08:12 Workplaces are getting worse (and it's bad business)

08:54 The actual math on turnover and institutional knowledge

09:37 Short-term thinking is stealing your future

10:13 "It's not personal, it's just business" is an excuse

11:16 You are an asset, not a liability

12:26 You are not the problem for having boundaries

13:32 AI outsourcing and the coming pay cut

14:10 You deserve safety, accommodations, and a workplace built for humans

14:59 Small Talk with Alison: a question from Frank in Scranton

15:13 Hypervigilance, trauma, or just being realistic?

16:09 Why I can't let myself get excited about good things

16:44 Chaotic families and why I hate my birthday

17:45 Two trophies and a dead dog (and then, open-heart surgery)

18:42 Some of us are just wired this way

19:31 When it might be time to talk to a professional

20:22 Olympics tangent: how does anyone end up doing the luge?

Mentioned in this episode:

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We're back. I put on makeup today. Seriously, that's where we are right now.

I took a break — a self-imposed silent hiatus you probably didn't know about, because I had a backlog and I'm nothing if not someone who runs her mouth into a microphone first and asks questions later. But the break is over, and I was not ready to come back today. I was very, very not ready.

And yet here we are, because I can do things scared, and apparently that includes walking downstairs and getting in front of the microphone when all I wanted was my best friend. (My kids confirmed my best friend is my bed. They weren't wrong.)

In this episode, I'm talking about:

— Odin, my 175-pound Great Dane who has exactly one person in this house and it is not me. Until he got scared. Then it was very much me.

— A listener question from Talia in Berkeley about how you grieve versions of yourself you never got to become — the careers, the relationships, the risks you didn't take.

— My dad's passing in 2016 and what happened in the four months after: every service line that was paying our business's bills disappeared. Every. Single. One. The universe was done with that chapter before I was.

This episode is 18 minutes. It's also a little unplanned, a little raw, and exactly what it needs to be. Come back with me.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 — War Paint On: We're Back (Armed with Makeup)

01:30 — What Counts as a Break When Your Brain Never Stops

02:09 — Content Brain Doesn't Take Vacations

02:50 — I Was Not Ready (But Here Anyway)

05:44 — Odin the 175-Pound Great Dane Who Only Loves Me in Crisis

09:02 — I'm the Safe Parent, Apparently

09:55 — What It's Actually Like Having Giant Dogs

12:24 — Small Talk: Grieving the Life You Didn't Live

Mentioned in this episode:

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I'll just say it: don't send me a video.

Not because I'm technologically challenged — I literally make video content for a living — but because if I need information fast, I need it in a format I can actually consume. Scrollable. Skimmable. Mine to move through in the order my brain needs. Send me a video and you have just given me homework, and I am not paying you to give me homework.

That's the rant that opens this episode, and I stand by every word of it.

But then we get into something that I think matters even more. I'm sitting down with Joanna Strober, the CEO of Midi Health — a women-focused healthcare company doing what the standard system has historically refused to do: actually start with women's biology instead of working around it. Joanna spent years watching herself and women like her get handed SSRIs and sleep studies when what they actually needed was someone to check their hormone levels. So she built the company that does that. Insurance covered. All 50 states. Actually available.

We talk about perimenopause, the diagnostic desert most women wander through on their own, what it actually takes to build a healthcare company that investors have no existing pattern for, and why AI might finally be the thing that cuts through the prior authorization bureaucracy that is eating your doctor's time alive.

Then Alison is back for Small Talk with a question from Omar in Dearborn, Michigan, about how to ask for help when even the ask feels overwhelming — and why needing help is never the failure it feels like.

If this one lands for you, share it with someone who could use it. Leave a review.

Different, Not Broken is hosted by Lauren Howard. New episodes drop weekly.

In this episode, I talk about what it actually looks like when you prioritize people-first leadership — not the inspirational poster version, but the version where you're paying someone's salary while they're out sick, covering their workload yourself, and looking at your bank account like it personally offended you.

I share two real stories — one from a friend, one from inside my own company — about what happens when you commit to putting humans first, and applying compassionate leadership, even when the business case doesn't make immediate sense.

What happens to the employee who needed care she could actually afford.

What happens to the friend who finally called back to say... well, you'll have to listen to find out what he said.

The suck is temporary. The loyalty isn't. This episode is for anyone building something — a business, a team, a life — who's in the middle of the hard part right now.

Plus: Allison brings a question from Becca about replaying conversations at 2am and whether that's anxiety, rumination, or just your brain refusing to behave.

⏱ Timestamps

Mentioned in this episode:

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My mom was in the hospital. ICU-level hospital. I knew she was going to be fine — but I also hadn't slept, and I was running on that specific kind of fuel that is equal parts functional and completely frayed.

I had a lot of feelings. I did not share most of them. Instead, I asked her the question that actually mattered: how charged is your phone?

This episode is about what happens when the people who raised us start needing us to show up — and how that experience is mostly logistical problem-solving interrupted by moments of genuine, unhinged absurdity. My mom had three separate envelopes of cash stuffed into various corners of her purse. She also had a small pouch of Equal packets. She let me take all the cash. She did not let me take the Equal. Barely ambulatory. Still ready to fight about artificial sweetener.

I also robbed my 9-year-old's piggy bank for a valet tip. Her grandmother paid her back. I stayed out of that transaction entirely.

Alison brings a question from Josh and Casey Mo, who feel like they're either all in or completely checked out — no middle gear — and it's starting to affect their relationships. I have thoughts. Mostly: please go talk to a clinician.

Also in this episode: my husband's vacuum cleaner obsession, the Oscars, Conan O'Brien with a leaf blower, and the universe conspiring to put that exact sound directly into my AirPods at the worst possible moment.

"You can take my money. You cannot take my Equal."

Timestamps:

00:22 — My husband and his four vacuum cleaners

01:51 — The Oscars / sensory nightmare of the week

02:55 — Where did your parents keep the used twist ties?

04:42 — My mom was hospitalized (ICU, kidney transplant, all of it)

07:50 — The only question that matters: how charged is your phone?

08:53 — Purse archaeology: hard candies, cash pouches, and the Equal situation

13:12 — Small Talk: all in or completely checked out, no middle gear

Different, Not Broken is hosted by Lauren Howard. New episodes drop weekly.

Mentioned in this episode:

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GetInflow

Our episode sponsor is Inflow. Please support this show and check them out at http://getinflow.io/notbroken

Inflow

In this episode which is sponsored by our wonderful partners at Inflow , I have a bone to pick with everyone who has ever bought me a coloring book. I know you meant well. I know you love me. I know you saw "mindless activity" and thought of me. But I need you to understand something: there is nothing in this world more stressful than being handed a mandala and a box of markers and being told to relax. Nothing.

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard and my friends call me L2.

Over the coming 20 minutes, I'll be walking through exactly why coloring books are a form of psychological warfare for my brain — the wrong colors, the spacing, the seven shades of gray problem, the blank page that is just failure waiting to happen — and what actually works for me instead. (Paint by number. With the paint pots included. Do not hand me a paint by number without the paint pots.)

I also tell the story behind why I sign off every single conversation — phone call, Zoom, hallway chat — the same exact way. Every time. Have for a decade. Started in a substance use clinic, where "be good" was less a pleasantry and more a genuinely urgent request. One patient called me out the one time I forgot. I didn't realize how much it had followed me until then.

Alison brings us a question from Simone in Oakland, California, who is frustrated by the advice to "listen to your body" because her body keeps sending contradictory signals — tired but wired, hungry but nauseous. I get into why that advice is genuinely incomplete, what those crossed signals actually mean, and when they're a sign something bigger needs attention.

"A blank coloring page is just a sheet of failure. Everything I do from here on out is going to be wrong. Get that thing away from me."

Be good.

Again, please do check out our episode sponsors Inflow at http://getinflow.io/notbroken

Chapters:

For use in podcast players and YouTube.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Inflow

GetInflow

Our episode sponsor is Inflow. Please support this show and check them out at http://getinflow.io/notbroken

Inflow

In this episode which is sponsored by our wonderful partners at Inflow I'm sharing an update from a couple of weeks ago when my mom was sick and I called an ambulance. She was going to be fine. I knew she was going to be fine. I was calm. I was functional. I was on the phone with my business partner — who is also an ER doctor, which I have decided is a mandatory qualification for that role — while flagging down the paramedics from the front porch.

And then I walked outside and completely fell apart.

Not because I was scared for her. Because that was the same porch. The same hallway. The same room I'd stood in nine and a half years ago when I called an ambulance for my dad — and he did not come home.

My brain knew it was 2026. My body had not received that information.

This episode is about the part of grief nobody prepares you for — not the raw early days, but the decade-later ambush that catches you completely off guard on a random Tuesday night with zero warning and zero time to put the armor on. It's also about how two things can be absolutely true at once: you can be fully mid-trauma response and still be making sarcastic remarks at the paramedics. I did both. Simultaneously. I regret nothing.

Alison brings a question from Andrew in Eugene, Oregon: "I'm starting to wonder how much of my personality is just coping strategies stacked on top of each other. Is there a real me underneath that, or is that the wrong question entirely?" Andrew, I've been thinking about this all week.

And I sit down with Lauren Yerkes, founder of Post Swim, who built a swimwear brand from her own breast cancer diagnosis at 37 — because she wanted to feel like herself again in a bathing suit, and that thing did not exist yet. Lauren's take on coverage vs. hiding is one of the most nuanced things I've heard in a long time.

"My brain knew it was 2026. My nervous system had entirely different information. Grief is a Mack truck with no warning label and no timeline."

Post Swim: postswim.com | @postswimofficial

Again, please do check out our episode sponsors Inflow at http://getinflow.io/notbroken

They're helping us bring episodes like this one to your ears.

Mentioned in this episode:

GetInflow

Our episode sponsor is Inflow. Please support this show and check them out at http://getinflow.io/notbroken

Inflow

Inflow

In this episode which is sponsored by our wonderful partners at Inflow I'm going on the record about something extremely important: loud music makes food taste bad, and I will not be taking questions or feedback on this. I support your live music. I will not consume it while eating my French fries. These are two separate things.

I also have a feelings-based relationship with computer keyboards that started in approximately 1994 in a Radio Shack, has never ended, and apparently runs in the family.

We also get into a question from Kayla in Tallahassee that stopped me: when I finally slow down, everything I've been avoiding emotionally shows up at once.

Rest feels dangerous. I have thoughts on this — including the uncomfortable truth that you cannot outrun trauma, it is always there, and you are not smarter than it.

(Neither am I. Trust me.)

Plus I read a listener review that is basically the entire reason this show exists.

Again, please do check out our episode sponsors Inflow at http://getinflow.io/notbroken

They're helping us bring episodes like this one to your ears.

Mentioned in this episode:

GetInflow

Our episode sponsor is Inflow. Please support this show and check them out at http://getinflow.io/notbroken

Inflow

Inflow

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I've been doing the internet antagonizing. I apologize. Not to the people I'm doing it to — they deserve it — but to the universe in general.

Last week I got into two arguments with dudes on the internet. It's like a thing I do. These are always cantankerous dude bros, and they always get what they deserve. The argument is almost always the same.

I have one question. I ask it every time. It brings their very bullish "I know everything about running a workplace" energy down to a full Porky Pig real fast.

I also bring receipts. Because of course I do.

Plus: I got mad about the Turning Point USA halftime show in a business group on the internet, which is exactly where that conversation belongs if you ask me.

And in Small Talk, I answer a question from Nate in Provo, Utah, who doesn't trust compliments but believes every piece of criticism — and I explain why imposter syndrome might actually be the most arrogant thing you can carry around.

Boop.

TIMESTAMPS

00:37 — I got into two arguments with dudes on the internet last week

01:04 — It's almost always the same argument about remote work and micromanagement

02:16 — The call center manager who had a lot to say

02:45 — The one question I have for them

03:57 — I worked at a call center. The best one in the world. It was still awful.

07:21 — If you can only run your business by underpaying people, your business is failing

08:41 — Don't wrestle with pigs. They enjoy it. (I did it anyway.)

09:18 — The Turning Point USA halftime show got me. I tried not to.

12:34 — I'm going to find a different plumber

13:55 — Small Talk: Nate from Provo, Utah on compliments vs. criticism

14:41 — 10,000 compliments: "yeah maybe." Someone says your feet smell: "that HAS to be true."

16:36 — Why imposter syndrome is actually a form of arrogance

Mentioned in this episode:

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I didn’t plan to talk about George Carlin.

Or mascara.

Or why I apparently cannot send a calendar invite without causing structural damage.

But here we are.

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.

In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about why I can speak into a microphone for 100,000 strangers… and feel deeply uncomfortable when someone I actually know tells me they listened.

I unpack the idea of the “little extra hug” you can only get from strangers. Why performing publicly can feel easier than being known privately. Why validation from the internet feels different than validation from your neighbour.

We also take a very sharp turn into hyperfixation. Makeup hyperfixation, specifically. What it feels like when your brain latches onto something and turns it into a full-blown research project. How dopamine gets mined in drawers full of blush and setting spray. And why sometimes that joy is less frivolous than it looks.

Then we talk about the contradiction that lives underneath all of it.

Being wildly capable in a crisis.

Building businesses in your head in seconds.

And being absolutely useless at routine admin.

This episode is about uneven capability. The shame that can creep in when you’re brilliant in one arena and chaotic in another. And the possibility that maybe nothing is wrong with you. Maybe you’re just built for different things.

For Small Talk, I respond to a listener question about being great in emergencies but struggling with everyday adulting.

Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!

https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Useful stuff

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 – Doomscrolling and documentary spirals

01:29 – George Carlin and the “little extra hug”

04:20 – Why strangers feel easier than real life

07:23 – Makeup hyperfixation and dopamine mining

13:30 – The Sephora return that proved my point

17:29 – Listener question: crisis queen, admin disaster

19:00 – Why I pay people to manage my calendar

20:50 – Maybe you’re just built differently

Mentioned in this episode:

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We had a hell of a week last week. But let me tell you this one story....

I didn’t plan to talk about sandwiches this much.

Or water.

Or Sudoku.

But here we are.

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.

In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about the strange, often ridiculous ways our brains create shame out of absolutely nothing. Eating the “wrong” food. Convincing yourself you hate water even though you love it. Feeling mortified because you’re slow at a logic puzzle no one else can see.

I unpack why our brains invent rules that don’t exist, why invisible judgement feels so real, and why being seen trying can feel worse than actually failing.

This episode is about shame that doesn’t make sense, fear of looking ridiculous, and the quiet pressure to only be visible once you’re already good at something.

Later in the episode, for "Small Talk", I respond to a listener question about the fear of being seen trying, and why vulnerability feels so exposing even when no one is actually paying attention.

You’ll hear:

Why your brain makes up rules it then punishes you for

How harmless things turn into sources of shame

Why being slow doesn’t mean being broken

Why feeling ridiculous is often a sign you’re doing something new

How to stop letting imagined judgement run your life

Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!

https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Useful stuff

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 – Sudoku shame and the nonsense our brains create

01:12 – Sandwich logic and internalised rules

03:32 – Why I pretend I hate water

06:08 – Invisible judgement and made-up leaderboards

09:14 – Listener question: fear of being seen trying

12:32 – Getting comfortable feeling ridiculous

15:40 – Why most people are not paying attention

18:05 – What I actually want you to hear before you go

Mentioned in this episode:

Build Your Better course

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Happy Superbowl... to everyone but the New England Patriots because f**K them guys.

I didn’t want to have this rant.

I’m tired of needing to have this rant.

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.

In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about ICE raids, fear, and what it feels like when people are genuinely afraid to exist in their own communities.

I tell a personal story about someone I rely on every day being too scared to drive six minutes across her own neighbourhood — despite being a citizen — because ICE was crawling the area. And I unpack why “just comply” is a lie that doesn’t protect people when power isn’t being exercised responsibly.

This episode is about fear that makes sense, exhaustion that isn’t a personal failure, and why mental health can’t be separated from the political reality we’re living inside.

Later in the episode, I’m joined by Myah Knight for a deeper conversation about queer faith, religious trauma, and the kind of community people need when institutions become unsafe.

You’ll hear:

Why fear is a rational response to what’s happening right now

Why “just comply” doesn’t actually keep people safe

How power shifts the goalposts until you’re always in the wrong

What allostatic load is and why you’re exhausted even when you’re not doing much

How queer faith and community can exist alongside religious trauma

Why needing support doesn’t mean you’re broken

Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!

https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Useful stuff

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 – Why I’m talking about ICE and fear

01:06 – Being too scared to drive six minutes

03:20 – Why “just comply” doesn’t protect you

06:37 – What federal overreach actually looks like

10:00 – Fear, abuse dynamics, and moving goalposts

15:45 – Why you’re exhausted even when you’re doing nothing

19:50 – Why I wanted Myah in this conversation

20:30 – Queer faith, religious trauma, and healing

37:25 – Small Talk listener question: dissociation or burnout?

40:15 – What I want you to hear before you go

Mentioned in this episode:

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Brag on yourself

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I recognised him instantly.

I’d never met him before.

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.

In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I tell the story of going to a startup funding event in Miami and unexpectedly sitting down next to someone I knew far too much about… despite never having spoken to him in my life.

It turns out reality TV, social conditioning, and a neurodivergent brain make for a very specific kind of social experience.

This episode is about what it’s like to hold a straight face while your brain is doing cartwheels, why masking often looks like politeness, and how much effort goes into pretending you don’t know what you know.

You’ll hear:

Why recognition doesn’t always come from real relationships

What masking actually looks like in everyday social situations

Why being “polite” is often a survival skill

How neurodivergent brains process people and patterns differently

Why explaining yourself gets exhausting fast

Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!

https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Useful stuff

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 – I recognized him instantly

01:12 – Reality TV, hate watching, and accidental expertise

04:06 – Going to an event alone (never again)

06:48 – Sitting down next to someone I shouldn’t know

09:02 – Knowing too much and saying nothing

12:31 – Masking as politeness

15:18 – Why pretending not to know is exhausting

18:44 – Listener brag: feeling hopeful about 2026

20:02 – A very important question for sleep scientists

23:10 – Small Talk Listener Question: communicating needs without feeling difficult

Mentioned in this episode:

Brag on yourself

Wanna brag on yourself for something you've done which you're proud of? https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Join Quirky

Wanna sponsor this podcast

http://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsors

Sponsor Different Not Broken

Build Your Better course

Build your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-better

I have a habit of saying the obvious things most workplaces avoid.

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.

In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I break down why basic human standards at work get treated like radical ideas, why return to office policies are deeply ableist, and why so much “innovative leadership” is really just common sense wrapped in better language.

This episode is about simplifying what’s been overcomplicated for years.

You’ll hear:

Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!

https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Useful stuff

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 – Why saying the obvious sounds “radical”

02:08 – The bare minimum we’ve stopped expecting at work

03:47 – Psychological safety isn’t a perk

04:38 – Why return to office is deeply ableist

06:36 – The real reason companies want people back in offices

07:46 – Bad management disguised as productivity

09:05 – Treat people like humans and they quit less

10:36 – Listener brag: feeling on top of life

11:15 – Why I hate “love languages”

11:49 – The science and art of a crispy Coke

13:49 – Big bubbles, bad Coke, and betrayal

15:31 – Freestyle machines are not acceptable

17:59 – Small Talk Listener Question: grieving a late neurodivergent diagnosis

Mentioned in this episode:

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Brag on yourself

Wanna brag on yourself for something you've done which you're proud of? https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Wanna sponsor this podcast

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You’re not broken.

But a lot of us were taught to believe we were.

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do. And in this episode of Different, Not Broken, I’m talking with Libby Alders, a pastoral chaplain who works at the intersection of faith, trauma, and identity, about what happens when religion stops being a source of comfort and starts quietly doing damage.

We get into how harmful theology gets lodged in your nervous system, why so many neurodivergent and LGBTQIA people grow up feeling fundamentally wrong, and how community can heal or harm depending on who’s allowed to show up fully.

This isn’t a debate about belief. It’s a conversation about safety. About moral injury. About certainty being weaponised. And about finding ways to make meaning without being told who you’re allowed to be.

There’s swearing. There’s honesty. There’s a surprising amount of warmth for a conversation that doesn’t pull its punches.

Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!

https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Useful stuff

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

Timestamped summary

00:00 “You’re Not Broken. You Were Taught Harmful Theology”

04:18 Certainty, faith, and why curiosity matters

09:32 Religion, trauma, and moral injury

14:41 Neurodivergence, queerness, and conditional belonging

20:06 Losing faith without losing yourself

26:55 Finding safer community and meaning

Mentioned in this episode:

Build Your Better course

Build your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-better

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Can somebody please explain this timeline to me?

Because I have a confession.

Last week — not even sure which day, definitely one of the days ending in “y” — something happened.

And I have no idea how.

Flying makes me anxious. Not the mild kind. The walls-closing-in, I-need-control kind.

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do. And in this episode of "Different, Not Broken" I talk about what it was like flying with someone who supported me without making a thing of it. No fuss. No questions. No spotlight. Just quiet, steady presence.

We get into why that kind of support works so well, especially for anxious and neurodivergent people, and why “are you okay?” is often the least helpful thing you can say.

Once you've been inspired to brag, here's where you can do it! - https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you're different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

00:00 "Therapist as Emotional Support"

05:49 "Calm Support During Turbulence"

07:26 "Weird Ears and Airplanes"

12:32 Toilet Paper Holder Frustrations

16:49 "Outgrowing Expectations and Tolerance"

18:46 Sibling Conflict and Resolution

Mentioned in this episode:

Build Your Better course

Build your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-better

Wanna sponsor this podcast

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Sponsor Different Not Broken

Brag on yourself

Wanna brag on yourself for something you've done which you're proud of? https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Nobody tells you this part about being a parent.

That every boundary you set comes with a quiet, gnawing guilt.

Needing space. Wanting quiet. Asking not to be touched for five minutes.

And immediately wondering if you’ll regret it forever.

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.

And in this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about the constant tug-of-war between your needs as a human and your guilt as a parent.

Because even when your kids are healthy, safe, loved, and thriving, it can still feel like you’re failing someone all the time.

Usually yourself. Sometimes them.

Often both.

I get into overstimulation, sensory overload, and why tiny, almost invisible things can feel completely unbearable when your fuse is already short.

And I talk about that thought parents torture themselves with over and over again.

What if this is the last time?

This is a conversation for parents who love their kids deeply and still sometimes need room to breathe.

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

00:00 The chaos nobody prepares you for

01:00 When your fuse feels dangerously short

03:03 Overstimulation and sensory overload

06:20 The tiny thing that breaks you

10:45 “What if this is the last time?”

14:50 The moment I knew I’d done something right

27:30 Recording while being a parent

Mentioned in this episode:

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Shhhhh! Come in and have a listen to your gift. Don't tell anyone....

Nobody really explains this part of relationships either.

That a lot of the friction isn’t about love, or communication, or effort.

It’s about order.

And chaos.

And which one of you is quietly losing your mind because the other one will not, under any circumstances, make a plan.

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.

And in this episode of Different, Not Broken, I introduce you to the single most accurate relationship framework I’ve ever found.

It comes from the greatest relationship philosopher of our time.

Jim Henson.

I’m talking Order Muppets and Chaos Muppets.

Who they are.

Why they keep finding each other.

And why once you see it, you genuinely can’t unsee it.

We get into partners, kids, siblings, colleagues, and the moment when an Order Muppet finally snaps and goes full feral Kermit.

We talk about why chaos isn’t a flaw.

Why order isn’t control.

And why most conflict is really just two nervous systems speaking completely different languages.

There’s also a listener question about masking.

What it costs.

Why it’s exhausting.

And how to start noticing who you actually are underneath all the coping.

It’s funny.

It’s unreasonably accurate.

And it will absolutely ruin the way you look at the people in your life, in the best possible way.

If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only one holding this together?”

Or “why does this person make everything harder?”

Congratulations. You’re probably a Muppet.

Let’s figure out which kind.

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

00:00 Are You an Order Muppet or a Chaos Muppet?

02:18 Jim Henson’s accidental relationship genius

05:04 Why opposites don’t just attract, they survive

08:41 Families, kids, and chaos tolerance

11:22 When Order Muppets finally lose their shit

13:09 Listener question: masking and exhaustion

14:05 How to start unmasking without blowing up your life

Mentioned in this episode:

Build Your Better course

Build your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-better

Brag on yourself

Wanna brag on yourself for something you've done which you're proud of? https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Wanna sponsor this podcast

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Sponsor Different Not Broken

Nobody tells you this part about being an adult.

That most of your energy gets burned on decisions. Small ones. Constant ones. What to eat. What to say. How to say it nicely. Who not to upset. When to apologise. Again.

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do. And in this episode of "Different, Not Broken" I talk about the real gift overwhelmed people actually want.

Not stuff.

Not experiences.

Not another thing you’re supposed to be grateful for.

Just nothing.

Relax, there's logic in here if you listen.

I also get into something we’ve been quietly taught for years: that staying modest, keeping your head down, and not bragging will somehow pay off. To be honest, it usually hasn’t. And pretending otherwise hasn’t helped anyone.

This is a conversation about decision fatigue, invisible labour, and why being good at things isn’t something you should apologise for. It’s funny, sharp, honest, and probably a bit too relatable if you’re the person everyone relies on.

If you’re tired, capable, and done pretending you’re not — this one’s for you.

Once you've been inspired to brag, here's where you can do it! - https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you're different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

00:00 "What I Really Want"*

05:46 "Craving Decision-Free Solitude"

06:18 "Adulting is Meal Planning"

10:11 "Garbage Day Struggles"

15:44 Boundaries on Personal Questions

16:25 "Pets as Family"

Mentioned in this episode:

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Wanna learn to write like me?

Here's how you can!

Writing Course

Build Your Better course

Build your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-better

I need to go on the record.

The Wet Bandits are NOT the villains in Home Alone.

This episode is a full rewatch reckoning. The kind that hits you sideways once you’re an adult and can’t unsee what’s actually happening on screen.

And we’re meant to call it festive.

This is not a cosy nostalgia episode.

It’s time to get a little uncomfortable and understand what's really going on with this movie and why I think it's more of a horror movie than a Christmas film.

Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.

Team Difficult: Can I Get That on a T-Shirt?

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do. And in this episode of "Different, Not Broken"...

You know that word you’ve heard muttered under their breath after a meeting, or the one you’ve seen tossed around as an insult every time you dared to challenge a Not-So-Great Idea™ at work? "Difficult."

It’s the golden badge awarded when you stand your ground, ask questions, or refuse to shrink yourself to fit someone else’s comfort zone.

Might as well print it on a shirt and wear it as a uniform. (Actually, that’s exactly what happened—and yes, the US trademark is real. Team Difficult is officially in session.)

In this episode, I'm sharing my thoughts on the culture of workplace competition, the myth of “just be agreeable and you’ll get ahead,” and how the word “difficult” is actually code for “please be smaller so I can feel bigger.”

If you’ve ever felt like you have to play the game—even when being “game” makes you miserable—or you’ve found yourself walking a fine line between champion and challenger, this episode is for you.

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much”—too loud, too opinionated, too different—or found yourself shrinking so someone else didn’t feel threatened, “Different, Not Broken” is here to remind you: You are NOT difficult, even when they say you are.

You’re Team Difficult—and that’s something to celebrate.

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you're different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

00:00 "Team Difficult Origins Explained"

03:24 Gender Bias in Workplace Communication

08:13 "Collaboration Over Competition"

12:07 "Christmas Trees Have Backs"

15:42 Burnout and Starting Over

19:02 "Self-Blame in Tough Situations"

20:42 Unsustainable Burnout Amid Life Challenges

24:10 "This Might Break Him"

Mentioned in this episode:

Wanna sponsor this podcast

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Brag on yourself

Wanna brag on yourself for something you've done which you're proud of? https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail

Build Your Better course

Build your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-better

Your emotional energy is not in your job description.

There! I said it. Did you feel a little jolt of recognition, a sense of relief—or maybe a stab of rage?

Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do. And in this episode of "Different, Not Broken" I'm asking if you’ve ever slogged through unbearable meetings, survived a boss who’d rather watch you squirm than support you, or felt your job siphoning off bits of your sanity day after day… this episode is your permission slip to stop surrendering your mental health on the altar of toxic work culture.

If you’ve ever heard “No job is worth your mental health” and nodded vigorously, only to feel that familiar panic rising when rent is due and quitting might mean eviction, you’re in the right place.

This episode won’t hand you Instagram-worthy mantras divorced from the realities of bills, healthcare, and responsibility.

Instead, I'm calling bullshit on the “just quit” narrative, sharing the reality, along with some actionable insights, and the kinds of boundary-setting wisdom you wish someone told you before your workplace broke you—not because you were broken, but because you were different in a system built for sameness.

You’ll find out:

Most importantly, you'll hear a deeply personal story of what happens when you reach your breaking point—and what you wish you knew before walking away.

No job deserves your mental health.

Listen now. Your sanity—and future self—will thank you.

Stuff that helps you become awesome even if you're different: https://stan.store/elletwo

My grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/

00:00 "No Job Over Mental Health"

06:11 "Choosing Your Emotional Boundaries"

08:49 "Leaving to Save My Sanity"

12:49 "Questioning Corporate Processes"

15:11 Corporate Misfit to Happy Entrepreneur

19:46 Weekend Questions I Hate

23:10 "Choosing Between Fun or Rest"

25:27 Navigating Choices and Conversations

Mentioned in this episode:

Build Your Better course

Build your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-better

Wanna sponsor this podcast

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Sponsor Different Not Broken

To be honest, I’ve hit my limit with holiday guilt and the weird pressure to act like everything’s cosy and magical just because the calendar says so. Holidays are made up. They only exist if you get paid time off or you genuinely enjoy them… and most people don’t.

In this episode, I’m pulling the curtains back on the whole thing.

The family expectations.

The traditions no one even likes.

The so-called “peacekeeping” that’s really just self-abandonment.

This one’s a little ranty, a little chaotic, and probably the most comforting thing you’ll hear all season.

Let’s talk about ditching guilt, skipping the bullshit, and building holidays that don’t make you want to scream.

Mentioned in this episode:

Wanna sponsor this podcast

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