Nicole is an organizer who's good at channeling her anger. The problem is she can't always downshift. 

From the episode: 

Radiotopia?s fall fundraiser is in full swing! Proxy is a part of Radiotopia, a collective of independent, creator-owned podcasts. Not only does your donation support Proxy and every show in the network, it?s a vote of confidence in independent media. Help us reach 1,500 supporters by Dec 31st by making your gift today at http://bit.ly/4hyFNhi

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

This week, we're presenting an episode of one of our favorite podcasts. 

Heavyweight, hosted by Jonathan Goldstein, creates space for difficult conversations and resolving long-standing regrets and unanswered questions. Balancing humor and empathy, host Jonathan Goldstein helps his subjects pinpoint the moment things went wrong and joins them on a quest to make them right.

This episode is about Anita, who, on her flight, to emigrate from Italy in 1959, was tasked with babysitting a two-year-old boy being brought to the US for adoption. During the flight, Anita fell in love with the child, and for the rest of her life, she wondered what became of him.

Find Heavyweight wherever you get your podcasts.

Erin wants to forgive the person she's holding a grudge against, but doesn't know how. Is it possible to just disappear resentment?

From the episode: 

This week kicks off Radiotopia?s fall fundraiser! Proxy is a part of Radiotopia, a collective of independent, creator-owned podcasts. Not only does your donation support Proxy and every show in the network, it?s a vote of confidence in independent media. Help us reach 1,500 supporters by making your gift today at http://bit.ly/4hyFNhi

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Yowei and bedraggled podcast spouse Kyle broadcast (sorta) live from their car about where the campaign is at. 

Today Oct. 31st is the last day of our drive to reach 1000 paying Patreon members, so we can get an additional $25k from a generous listener and cover the costs of making a year two.

We're so close! Latest count: 946!

https://www.patreon.com/cw/ProxyPodcast

Yaroslava?s town in Ukraine was taken by Russians. She's now safe in the US. But how do you make a new life when you feel guilty about not being home?

For one week every summer at Dignity Beyond Borders, young people from all over the world who've suffered a traumatic loss due to political violence come together to kayak, make art, and have proxy conversations about topics like this. 

A special conversation between Yaroslava,  a 1st-time camper, and Sariyah Abuzant, a 26-year-old woman from Palestine, sho's been to the camp a few times. 

From the episode: 

Help us get to 1000 paying Patreon members by Oct. 31st to cover the costs of making a year two of Proxy! We're so close. We're at 851 right now. 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code PROXY at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

How close are we to getting to 1000 paying Patreon members so we can cover the costs of making a year two?!

Plus, a conversation with introvert ally (and extrovert) Jennifer Kahnweiler on the changes she's made to get along better with the introverts in her life. 

To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

From the episode: 

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

A historic step in extrovert-introvert relations i.e. a proxy bloodbath roundtable with 2 extroverts and 2 introverts airing our grievances about each other. 

From the episode: 

This is a special membership campaign episode! Help us get to 1000 paying Patreon members by Oct. 31st to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism! 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

At the heart of many family estrangements lies a mystery. Adult kids insist they?ve told their parents why they?re walking away, while parents say they don?t understand. Why is it sometimes so hard for parents to hear their kids? And how to get through?

From the episode: 

This is a special membership campaign episode! Help us get to 1500 paying Patreon members by Oct. 9th to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism! 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The case of the mom who doesn?t understand, and the daughter who?s done explaining.

From the episode: 

Help us get to 1500 paying Patreon members by Oct. 9th to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism!

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Alex used to host a huge podcast (Reply All). He now makes a new independent show called Hyperfixed. He loves making it. Only problem is, Alex now has to ask for money all the time to survive, which he hates doing.

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Help us get to 1500 Patreon members this month, to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism! https://www.patreon.com/ProxyPodcast

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Ever since the election, Sandy Ernest Allen has been clocking a strange silence from cis people about trans rights. So Sandy reached into the void to hear what the silence had to say.

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Anya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this conversation, Anya shares what she learned from talking to scientists, activists, and thinkers about our collective emotions - why we feel the things we do, the limits of those feelings, and how to move through them to take action. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get ad-free episodes, access to the chat, and exclusive premium episodes, like this extended conversation with Anya Kamenetz. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

A conversation with Dr. Alissa Ackerman about her restorative justice work on the frontlines of Me Too, using proxy-like conversations. 

This is a Patreon exclusive premium episode we're releasing on the main feed. If you want to hear more conversations like this, consider joining our Patreon, starting at $5 a month.

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

From the episode: 

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The case of the people person who fell out of love with people. 

From the episode: 

To hear Zakiya get more help on her conundrum and learn about the science of intuition, check out her Science of Happiness podcast episode coming this Thursday. On Science of Happiness, U.C. Berkeley psychologist Dr. Dacher Keltner invites a guest to try a research-backed practice shown to boost emotional well being, improve relationships, promote compassion or reduce stress.  

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Yowei doesn't have an internal narrator telling stories about her life - at least a voice she can hear in her head. She talks to psychology professor Jonathan Adler about what this means and what anyone can do to strengthen their self-narrator, if they wanted to. 

To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

From the episode: 

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it.

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

When someone with Alzheimer's gets upset about something that isn't actually happening, it can be easy to dismiss their feelings. But what if we approached those feelings not as problems to get rid of, but mysteries to solve? Psychologist Claudia Drossel unpacks the feelings of people with Alzheimer's and how to decode them to use as a guide to give better care.

To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

From the episode: 

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The case of Brian, a journalist whose mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. Even though Brian knows she can?t help misremembering things, he can?t stop losing his patience with her, and with himself. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The case of Evan and Chris, best friends who love playing music together. But after the band suffers a terrible tragedy, they find themselves unable to regain their momentum. We pair them up with another musician who?s all too familiar with the neverending drama that comes with being in a band with friends. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

For a long time, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. She gets advice from comedian (and fellow introvert) Aparna Nancherla about how to stop wishing for personality puberty to hit.

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. We find someone uniquely able to help him break out of his regret loop. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The case of George, the bisexual wife guy who got dumped. In this episode, we find a proxy to stand in for a listener's ex - another queer woman who left her straight relationship. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project?

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google -  and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did support groups help him, when nothing else did?

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of The Crying Book, to parse what?s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how we should respond to them. 

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what?s in store for Proxy. 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

The final installment of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy converations. In this episode, Yowei talks to a ritual expert and tries explaining what she's learned about proxy conversations to her mom. 

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Part 3 of Yowei's extremely meta quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. In this episode, Yowei learns about psychodrama, a psychotherapy that has similarities to proxy conversations and used to be a dominant modality in the U.S. and then died. Dr. Scott Giacomucci breaks down the mechanics of proxy conversations and tries his psychodrama techniques on Yowei. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Part 2 of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Why do they work?  How? Can Yowei figure out how to explain the show to people who don't get it?  In this episode, Yowei gets advice from actor, comedian, and proxy conversation expert Connor Ratliff. Over 20 years ago, Tom Hanks fired Connor from a small role in the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers - apparently for having "dead eyes." But is that really what happened? Connor made a podcast to investigate, and had 30 episodes worth of proxy conversations before talking to Tom Hanks himself. 

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Yowei has a problem. She's having trouble explaining the show to people who don't get it. She knows proxy conversations work. But why? How? Part 1 of a 4-part quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Yowei learns about a proxy conversation happening in a completely different context: restorative justice with proxy survivors and offenders. 

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

An in-depth interview with UMass Amherst sociologist and professor Ofer Sharone about the stigma trap that laid off workers can fall into and how the myth of meritocracy impacts even people who don't think they believe in it.

To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

With every layoff, there's the blackbox of what's really going on behind the scenes. Why did it go down the way it did? Was it really not about your performance, like they told you? How does the layoff list get made anyway? In our inaugural proxy conversation, we connect Miles and Elliot with a proxy HR professional to answer their layoff questions.

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

Please note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

Elliot and Miles loved working at the same company, until the spectre of layoffs came to haunt them.

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

When Yowei Shaw got laid off from NPR, she didn't just feel bad. She was confused by how bad she felt and how long the bad lasted. So Yowei does what she usually does in a situation like this - she reported on her feelings. Then things go left.

From the episode:

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

It?s the knot you can?t untangle - a problem so unique, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who?s been through the exact same thing? On Proxy, we find just the person you were looking for, the person who can help you get unstuck. It?s not therapy - it?s emotional investigative journalism??. Yowei Shaw, former host of Invisibilia, at your service. New cases every other Tuesday. 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism?? and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You?ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free ?

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]