You eat clean, you handle everything, and by five o'clock you still feel like you need a glass of wine to calm down. Sian Cook, a former client trained in medicine, explains what stress is draining from your brain, why wine feels like the fix, and where to start to change your relationship with alcohol.

What you'll learn:

Why stress burns through the nutrients your brain needs to feel calm

Why wine makes you feel instantly better when you're stressed

Why eating clean isn't always enough to give your brain what it needs

What it looks like when wine shifts from a need to a want

Click here to learn more about Vital Mind Serenity. Type "Colleen" in the discount field for 10% off. (Colleen has no affiliation. She just thinks it's worth knowing about.)

Click here to join Colleen's next live Get Happy Not Sober event to uncover the real reasons why reducing your drinking feels harder than it should be. It's an ideal opportunity to work directly with Colleen without making a huge commitment.

Referenced in this episode: It's Not About the Alcohol Episode 193: How to use amino acid supplements to fix neurotransmitter deficiences that trigger alcohol cravings

You've been telling yourself you drink too much because you love it too much. That's not what's happening. This episode shows you the rules you've been following since childhood that make you say yes to everyone else and no to yourself, and why the drink at the end of the day is the only thing you actually let yourself have.

What you'll learn:

Get Happy, Not Sober is a live three-day event starting Friday, September 11. Day one, you'll measure the gap between what you'll do for other people and what you'll do for yourself, find the rule causing it, and walk away with one sentence that explains why your relationship with alcohol is out of balance. Day two is the mindful drinking experiment, live with Colleen for VIPs or on your own with the workbook. Day three is coaching and integration. Sessions are Friday and Saturday at 3pm Eastern, Sunday at noon Eastern. Plan on 90 minutes each. VIP spots are limited. [REGISTER HERE]

You have discipline in every other area of your life. You follow through, you deliver, you keep everything running. So why is it that the one night you tell yourself no drinking, you pour that first glass like that was the plan all along? This episode explains what's actually driving that, and why willpower can't make it stop.

What you'll learn:

Why "not drinking" feels harder than anything else on your list
What your nervous system is actually reacting to when you sit still
Why cutting back so you can get more done backfires every time
Why three years of perfect abstinence didn't fix a damn thing
The difference between acting like a woman who can take it or leave it and feeling like her

Join Colleen this weekend, Aug 21-23 for Get Happy Not Sober, a live three-day event. [Click here to register now.]

You've done a lot of work and you've definitely improved. But you're still drinking more than you want. And there's a critical voice in your head that keeps insisting you should be doing more–working harder and changing faster. This episode explains why the desire to drink won't lift until you deal with the emotional patterns that are driving it, and what it actually feels like to be free.

What you'll learn:

Why the "not enough" feeling keeps coming back no matter how much you improve

How to stop chasing the outcome and focus on the state of being you want to embody

What it will feel like to be able to "take it or leave it"

Two reflection questions to help clarify what really needs to change

Take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system, so you know exactly which version of "not enough" you're working with. [Take the Quiz Here]

Book a free discovery call with Colleen's team so you can walk away with a new goal (that has nothing to do with alcohol). [Book Your Discovery Call with One of Our Certified Coaches]

You're still drinking more than you should, and you want to know if real change actually is a slow process, or if you're just making excuses so you don't have to quit. Here's the honest answer, plus a reliable metric to track so that you can feel more confident about your progress.

What you'll learn:

Why your drinking is usually the last thing to change, not the first

Why counting drinks is counterproductive to your progress

Why you lose motivation to "drink less," and the perspective shift that helps you stay consistent

What to do when you wake up and realize you "did it again"

How to tell whether your discomfort is a sign that you're failing or growing

Nervous system regulation is the missing puzzle piece for most high-performing women. Register for the free masterclass, The Science Behind Take It or Leave It: Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too. [Watch the Masterclass Here]

One conversation won't change your drinking. But it can change your perspective on what you need to focus on. If you want to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be, book a free discovery call. [Book Your Discovery Call Here]

You wake up asking the same question you asked yesterday. What the hell is wrong with me? But you've already decided the answer is that you're drinking is out of control. This episode shows you how the story you keep telling yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and gives you three moves to shift your perspective of what's going on (and what really needs to change).

What you'll learn:

There are four types of drinkers. Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out which language pattern is running your habit. [Take the Quiz Here]

Ready to change your drinking without labeling it a drinking "problem?" Book a free discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches to find out if this approach can work for you. [Book Your Discovery Call Here]

You wake up feeling rough and decide, "I'm not drinking tonight." For a few hours, that plan feels solid. But evening comes and you pour one anyway. And now your brain has even more evidence that you're not in control. Which makes you less motivated to try again (because what's the point?) This episode shows you why planning to "not drink" often backfires and what to do instead.

What you'll learn:

Why high achieving "planners" also tend to drink too much

How planning to control your drinking builds pressure in your nervous system

The one-word pattern-interrupt that shifts you from "planning for later" into action (right now)

How to figure out what you really need (it's never a drink)

[Click Here] for the Take it or Leave it Roadmap Series. Before you can change your drinking, you have to understand how it's actually helping you. These 5 videos walk you through the whole process of change, starting with why your drinking makes perfect sense. Watch one a day or binge all five in under an hour.

[Click Here] to book a free discovery call with Colleen's enrollment team if you know you need guidance, support and accountability. You'll leave with a clear action plan for giving yourself more of what you need, whether you end up working with us or not. 

You've been telling yourself that if you were more disciplined, then you wouldn't drink as much as you do. But the problem isn't that you need more control. It's that giving yourself permission to relax means that you're wasting time or falling behind. Which is why you need alcohol. This episode explains why expanding your capacity for peace and joy is what actually reduces alcohol cravings, and gives you one small goal to help you get started. 

What you'll learn:

Why GLP1 drugs reduce alcohol cravings (and how to get the same effect on your own)

Why motivating yourself with shame and fear makes cravings worse

The difference between wanting more from yourself and wanting more for yourself

What to do when peace and joy aren't available to you (yet)

Not sure why you drink the way you do? Take the quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your patterns. [Take the Quiz Now]

Ready to stop figuring this out alone? Schedule a free discovery call with the enrollment team. You'll walk away with a customized action plan, your patterns named, and the specific skills you need to build. [Book Your DC Here]

You set a plan to take a break from drinking and made it a few days. Then you blew it. And now you're trying to figure out why you keep breaking promises to yourself when it comes to alcohol. This episode gives you a step by step strategy (based on curiosity and self-compassion instead of judgment) to help you reduce your drinking. 

What you'll learn:

Why taking a break from drinking isn't about proving you can go without it

The five questions to ask after a setback (instead of "what's wrong with me")

Why the same glass of wine is self-care one night and self-sabotage the next

How to follow your intuition instead of arbitrary rules you're going to break anyway

Want to know if this approach can actually work for you? Book a free discovery call with Colleen's enrollment team. It's free, there's no pressure, and you'll leave knowing exactly where you stand. [Book Your Discovery Call Here]

Find out what type of drinker you are. Because before you can change HOW you drink, you have to understand WHY you drink. [Click here to take the free quiz].

You keep telling yourself you'll take the night off, or at least stop at two glasses. But then you drain the entire bottle (as usual). This episode shows you why that's not a willpower problem, and walks you through Colleen's Capacity Audit so you can see exactly what's draining you. 

What you'll learn:

Why you reach for wine to relax after work even though you know that's not what you really need

Why you can't stop at one glass even when you planned to

Why willpower won't help you drink less, and what actually does

How to calm your nervous system in three minutes, no drink required

The five-category capacity audit that shows you where you're leaking energy

Realizing your drinking is a lack of capacity (not willpower) means you've found the problem. If you're looking for the solution, click here to schedule a discovery call. [Book Your Discovery Call]

Resources mentioned:
It's Not About the Alcohol EP335 I was drinking every night again. Here's how I stopped. And EP337 Why drinking every night destroys your confidence (and how to stop)

If you're an alcoholic, how is it possible that you can get more done before breakfast than most people do in a week? And yet, you still know that you drink too much. So you Google your questions, maybe take the online quizzes, which don't help. This episode gives you a better way to look at your drinking and one specific question that has a much more clear and productive answer.

What you'll learn:

Why no one can actually tell you whether you're an alcoholic

The belief that quietly makes your drinking harder to control

How three out of four people who are dependent on alcohol change their drinking without rehab or AA

What your nervous system is really asking for when you pour the wine

The question to ask instead of "am I an alcoholic?"

Want insight into the emotional patterns that are driving your drinking? Take the 3-minute quiz to find out what type of drinker you are. [Take the Quiz Here]

Want to know if the "take it or leave it" methodology can work for you? Schedule a discovery call and find out. [Book Your Discovery Call Now]

You've always been a little proud of your high tolerance. You can drink grown men under the table and still walk and talk like a rockstar in four inch heels. But lately it scares you. How is it even possible to drink that much and not even feel it? This episode answers that, and shows you how to "feel" the signals in your body that you've trained yourself to ignore.

What you'll learn:

Why a high tolerance isn't a sign of superior liver function, and what it's actually hiding

Why it's actually quite normal for busy and high-functioning women to over-drink

How to tell the difference between buzzed and intoxicated (without a breathalyzer)

The hangover reflection I teach my clients to retrain their brain so they can learn from their mistakes (and stop repeating them)

Are you ready to change? Book a free 20-minute discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches for an honest conversation about where you are, where you want to be, and what it will actually take to get there.

Take the Quiz to find out what type of drinker you are. Because you have to see the pattern before you can break the pattern. 

You've been drinking more lately because of your partner. Their mood is the problem. Their lack of effort. Their inability to have an honest conversation. 

But if this is their problem, why are you stuck? My interview with high conflict divorce coach Karen McMahon will show you how to take your power back instead of drowning it with alcohol.

What you'll learn:

Why drinking feels safer than conflict (and what's actually happening in your nervous system)

The seven levels of emotional energy and how drinking keeps you on the lower end

How to shift your focus from what your partner needs to change to what you need to change

Why your boundaries keep getting plowed and what to do about it

Three somatic tools you can use mid-conflict to stop reaching for the wine

If you're ready to take full responsibility for where you are and where you want to be, the first step is identifying the pattern that's running you. Take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is driving your pattern and get the Take It or Leave It Roadmap. [Take Quiz Here]

Ready to stop figuring this out alone? Book a free discovery call. The call isn't about figuring out what's wrong with you. It's about figuring out what kind of support you actually need. [Book Your Discovery Call]

Resources:

Karen McMahon: Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast

Free Guide: Understanding and Managing Your Emotional Energy

journeybeyonddivorce.com

You know you should be drinking less, but you can't follow through. You promise and plan to do something different and then repeat the same mistakes over and over. This episode explains the gap between knowing what you should be doing and actually doing it. And gives you the perspective shift that you need to make to close it.

What you'll learn:

The two reasons "knowing" doesn't translate to doing

Why your "celebration drinking" is often stress drinking in a party dress

The perspective shift that turns your dopamine back on

What actually has to change before your drinking can change

Quiz: Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out why YOU can't just take it or leave it: [Take the quiz here]

Ready to stop trying to figure this out alone? Book a free 20-minute discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches. You'll leave with clarity about where you are, where you want to be, and what's standing in your way. No pressure, no sales pitch. [Book your Discovery Call here]

You've been blaming yourself for drinking too much. You assume the brain fog, the fatigue, the weight you can't shift, the way you can't stick to your plan, all of it, is because you drink. But what if the reason you're drinking so much is that your hormones are off? This episode walks you through what to test for and what to do when your doctor tells you everything looks "normal."

What you'll learn:

The symptoms most women blame on their drinking that are actually hormone imbalances

The specific labs your doctor probably isn't running (and what they should cost)

Why your labs can come back "normal" while you still feel like crap

How nervous system dysregulation creates the cascade that keeps you stuck

Why hormone support is a foundation, not a fix, for changing your drinking

Take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system, and get a roadmap tailored to your specific pattern. [Take Quiz Now]

Ready to do the other piece? [Book a free discovery call]

Resources:

Amber Romaniuk: amberapproved.ca

The No Sugarcoating Podcast with Amber Romaniuk

You've been searching for something to take the edge off. Some tool or strategy that can help you relax so you don't feel like you need to drink so much. CBD. THC gummies. A sleepy-time tea. The anti-anxiety medication your doctor offered. This episode explains why nothing you've tried works as well as alcohol, and what your nervous system really needs.

What you'll learn:

Why alcohol helps you relax in the short term (and how that traps you in dependancy)

The two parts of anxiety your doctor doesn't understand

Why willpower isn't the issue here

Three practices that change your relationship with anxiety for good

Before you can break the pattern, you have to see it. After coaching thousands of very successful, professional women, Colleen has identified four specific types of drinkers. Each requires a unique approach. Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out what type of drinker you are and get the Take it or Leave it Roadmap Series built for your specific pattern. 

If you'd like to have a private conversation with a certified coach about which Emotional Sobriety Coaching program would be the best fit for you, click here to schedule a free discovery call. 

Resources mentioned: The Anxiety Rx by Dr. Russell Kennedy EP190: Interview with Dr. Russell Kennedy 

Can you Take it or Leave it? Take the quiz to discover what type of drinker you are so you can understand what's behind your biological urge to drink. Click here to take the quiz. 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You've been told that the best way to stop drinking too much is to stop drinking entirely. This episode shows you why that advice usually doesn't work for high-achieving women. Dr. Tammie Kennedy is here to share her experience as one of my students in The Next Chapter. She'll tell you the truth about not only what's changed for her, but also what hasn't changed after nearly a year in the program.

What you'll learn:

Why the women who try the hardest are often the slowest to change their drinking 

What changes first when you stop trying to fix the drinking 

The shame loop that keeps high-achieving women stuck in restriction-and-rebound cycles 

What really stops most women from being able to change

Click here to take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system. 

Do you need to speak with someone? Click here to schedule a free discovery call with Colleen or one of her certified coaches.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You can't fall asleep without a few drinks. Every time you've tried going to bed without it, you end up back on the couch an hour later pouring a glass because your brain wouldn't shut down. This episode explains what's happening in your nervous system and gives you three practices to rebuild your desire (and ability) to go to sleep without alcohol.

What you'll learn:

Why trying to "not drink" leads to drinking earlier to "knock yourself out" 

The difference between alcohol-induced sedation and sleep on your emotional well-being

How to get back to sleep when you wake up at 3 a.m. 

The importance of letting yourself feel tired

The best morning and evening practices to reset your circadian rhythm

Wand to know why can't YOU just take it or leave it?

Click here to take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker patterns is running your nervous system. You'll get your results plus my new Take It or Leave It Roadmap series that's built for your drinker type delivered to your inbox. 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You've been kicking yourself for finishing the bottle (again) when you promised it was going to be just one glass. This episode explains why trying harder isn't working, and gives you three principles of self-directed neuroplasticity that actually rewire your brain so drinking less stops feeling like you're fighting your own instincts.

What you'll learn:

Why over-drinking isn't a willpower failure. It's a survival strategy your nervous system built to keep up with your life

How to stop setting goals your brain can't work with, and start pointing it at what you actually want

The four drinking patterns running high-achieving women, and why you can't see the one running you

Why fighting old habits reinforces them, and what to build instead

The low bar goal that keeps you consistent when your stretch goal isn't realistic

Not sure why you drink the way you do?
Click here to take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system. You'll get your results plus my new Take It or Leave It Roadmap Series delivered to your inbox. 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You're not a woman who needs more information. You read the books. You follow the sober curious accounts. You've done Dry January. You've downloaded Sunnyside or Reframe. Every Sunday morning you promise yourself this week is going to be different.

And here you are, still on the hamster wheel.

There's nothing wrong with you. You're just trying to solve the wrong problem.

This week Colleen walks through three blindspots that keep busy, successful women stuck in cycles of overdrinking. Why your identity is running the show without you knowing it. Why your refusal to slow down feels like strength. And why you can't criticize or out-think your way out of a pattern you can't see.

Plus the story of teaching yoga from a chair while on bedrest with her fourth pregnancy, pushing a double jog stroller a mile and a half to the pool with four kids, and why none of this was ever actually about the alcohol.

If you want a raw, real, honest conversation about what's actually going on, book a free discovery call. It's not about what's wrong with you. It's about figuring out what kind of support you actually need. Those are very different conversations.

If you see the benefit in having a private conversation with a certified coach, Click Here To Schedule A Free Discovery Call

Watch The Free 45 Minute Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen pulls apart something that sounds right, but quietly keeps women stuck: thinking about your feelings instead of actually feeling them.

Because most women in this space aren't avoiding the work.
They're doing a ton of it.

They can explain their patterns.
They understand their triggers.
They know why they drink.

And yet… nothing really shifts.

Colleen walks through the difference between intellectual processing and physical release, and why emotional energy that doesn't move doesn't disappear… it stays in the body.

That's where the tension, the anxiety, the shutdown, and yes... the cravings, come from.

This isn't about more insight.
It's about learning how to actually let something move through you instead of managing it in your head.

And for most women, that's the part they've never been taught.

🔑 Key Takeaways

~Why understanding your emotions isn't the same as processing them
~How emotional energy gets "stuck" in the body
~Why overthinking creates anxiety, tension, and cravings
~The cultural conditioning that teaches women to suppress expression
~What it actually looks like to release an emotion (not just label it)
~Why you can't selectively numb pain without numbing joy
~A simple 3-step emotional release practice to start reconnecting with your body

This episode isn't asking you to figure anything out. It's asking you to stop trying.

Because the shift isn't in your thinking… it's in your willingness to feel what's already there.

If you'd like to learn more about our Emotional Sobriety Coaching programs:

---> Click here to schedule a discovery call

---> Watch The FREE Masterclass

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Now that I'm on the other side of my recent slip back into drinking every night, I can see exactly what happened—and more importantly, I can explain the mechanism that makes this so dangerous for high-achieving women.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why nightly drinking doesn't just affect your health—it systematically destroys your confidence, your self-trust, and your sense of who you are. And I'm giving you the exact framework for how to stop.

In this episode:

Why the belief "I'll feel better when things calm down" is actually a symptom, not wisdom

The mind virus that makes your brain blame everything wrong in your life on alcohol

How shame disguises itself as "personal accountability" and "radical honesty" in high achieving women

The reason you can't think your way out of a thinking problem (which is what this is)

What actually shifted for me—and why I don't need willpower to stay sober during the week

Ready to do the work?

If you'd like to to have a private conversation with a certified coach, Click Here To Schedule A Free Discovery Call

Watch The Free 45 Minute Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen revisits one of the hardest ideas to trust at first: that before your drinking changes, you have to stop making your drinking the enemy.

And yes… that can feel dangerous.

Because the moment you stop restricting, judging, and trying to control yourself, your brain often swings the other direction. It sees a loophole. It tests the boundaries. It acts like the rebellious teenager who just got told there's no curfew.

But Colleen explains why that doesn't mean the work isn't working. It means you're finally coming face to face with the internal conflict that's been there all along.

She breaks down how restriction backfires, how your body knows when you're lying to yourself, and why the real work of emotional sobriety isn't about forcing better behavior. It's about learning how to feel the whole truth, question your programming, and rebuild trust with yourself one urge at a time.

🔑 Key Takeaways

~Why giving yourself permission can make drinking spike at first

~How restriction fuels rebellion, self-sabotage, and binge behavior

~Why your body is a better truth detector than your thoughts

~The difference between your urge and the meaning you assign to it

~Three tools to use before giving in to an urge

This episode is a reminder that the goal isn't to become someone who never wants a drink, but to become someone who stops abandoning herself in the process of wanting one.

If you'd like to learn more about our available coaching programs, Click Here To Apply For A Discovery Call!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Colleen gets really personal in this episode.
She shares the hard winter that (at one point) sent her back to nightly drinking, financial stress, the loss of her dog, feeling stuck in a house that no longer feels like home, and walks through exactly how she got out. 

In this episode:

Why going back to an old drinking pattern is not evidence you failed. It's data.

The rat study that proves hope creates more persistence than willpower or skill ever could

Why focusing on your drinking makes the pattern worse, not better

Upstream thinking: what it actually looks like to increase your capacity instead of restricting your behavior

The breathwork class that broke something open. And the brutal Sunday morning that followed.

Observer consciousness: the difference between being in the storm and watching it

Why stopping drinking didn't fix Colleen's anxiety, sleep, or low energy. And what that means for you.

Do you need help?

We're ready to talk to you!

If you'd like to learn more about our Emotional Sobriety Coaching programs.  Click here to schedule a discovery call

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter): @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen pulls on a thread most women don't question:

that moment where you're a drink or two in and thinking, "I'm not even feeling this."

And instead of solving for it… she slows it down.

Colleen walks through how easy it is to miss the actual experience of drinking when you're in your head, distracted, or slightly disconnected from your body—and how quickly that turns into pouring another one without ever really checking in.

Not as a mistake. Just as a pattern.

And once you start to notice it, it's hard to unsee.

🔑 Key Takeaways

~Why "I'm not feeling it" might not mean what you think

~What happens when you miss the moment the drink actually lands

~How disconnection quietly turns into overdrinking

~The difference between experiencing something vs thinking about it

~Why paying attention changes what you want next

This episode isn't asking you to do anything differently. Just… notice.

Because once you do, things tend to shift on their own.

Watch The Free 45 Minute Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. 

If you'd like to learn more about our Emotional Sobriety Coaching programs, Click Here To Schedule A Free Discovery Call

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You made the promise this morning,"I'm not going to drink tonight." You meant it. Then the day happened. And by 6pm, the drink was in your hand like that was the plan all along.

This isn't a willpower problem. It's a capacity problem. And once you understand what's actually happening in your nervous system between 6am and 6pm, this stops feeling like a weakness or a character flaw.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why evening-you can't keep the promises morning-you makes, and giving you three practices, placed at specific times of day, that actually allow you to access the willpower (you already have) TONIGHT.

You'll learn:

Why willpower is a finite resource — and why you've already spent it by the time you need it most

Why behavioral goals ("I'm only having two") consistently fail, and how to set an emotional goal you'll actually stick to

Three nervous system practices — one for morning, one for lunch, one for the transition between day and evening — that work upstream of your alcohol cravings

This episode is for the woman who is tired of blaming herself for needing to relieve her stress, and who's ready to learn how to live in a way she doesn't need to escape her own life. 

Resources mentioned:

Watch The Free 45 Minute Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. 

If you'd like to learn more about our Emotional Sobriety Coaching programs, Click Here To Schedule A Free Discovery Call

In this episode, Colleen names something most women have never been taught to do: have a relationship with themselves.

Not self-improvement. Not fixing. Not managing behavior.
Actual relationship.

Because when you don't know who you are, what you want, or how to meet your own needs, alcohol steps in and fills that space.

Colleen walks through why so many women reach midlife feeling disconnected, uncertain, and dependent on escape—and how that's not a personal failure, it's conditioning.

You were taught how to be good.
You were never taught how to know yourself.

And emotional sobriety isn't just about removing the drink.
It's about rebuilding that internal connection so you don't need it.

Why drinking becomes the default when you don't know what you want

How identity gets shaped by conditioning, not conscious choice

The concept of becoming both the giver and receiver of your own attention

Why most relationships feel unfulfilling (and what's actually missing)

How disconnection from self creates loneliness—even when you're not alone

The shift from seeking needs externally → sourcing them internally

Practical ways to start building a relationship with yourself

If you're tired of feeling trapped and tired of drinking just to feel relief, then Click Here To Book A Call With Us.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

What if the habit you're most proud of — your drive, your work ethic, your ability to get things done — is quietly running on the same fuel as the habit you're trying to change?

In this episode, Colleen gets personal. She walks through the exact moment she diagnosed herself with workaholism — not because she objectively works too much, but because of WHY she's been working so much. And the reason turns out to be the same neurological shift she's spent years helping women recognize in their drinking.

This one covers:

The difference between positive and negative reinforcement — and why any behavior you use to avoid discomfort will eventually become compulsive

Why workaholism and alcoholism are two versions of the same truth

How to know if you're doing something because it genuinely adds pleasure to your life or if you're doing it to subtract or avoid pain

The two-question self-diagnostic you can apply in real time to any pattern — drinking, working, scrolling, anything

What it means to set an emotional goal instead of a behavioral one — and why that's the only strategy that can actually help you change

Colleen also gets honest about how her drinking frequency has shifted alongside her work patterns — and what both behaviors are telling her about what she's been avoiding.

This is not a story about work replacing alcohol. It's a story about what happens when two coping tools are running in tandem, and neither one is solving the problem underneath.

Resources mentioned:

Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. 

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call

In this episode, Colleen revisits the biochemistry of change through the lens of dopamine — not as a science lesson, but as a practical explanation for why so many women stay stuck in cycles they genuinely want to change.

She breaks down the difference between motivation and overwhelm, and why most attempts to change drinking fail before they ever really begin: the goal is too big, the thinking is too broad, and the brain never actually learns to enjoy the behaviors that would make change sustainable.

Instead of focusing on the outcome — drinking less, losing weight, getting your life together — Colleen explains why real change happens when you focus on the inputs. The thoughts, behaviors, and tiny repeated actions that teach your brain, one moment at a time, that the new way actually feels good.

This is where emotional sobriety gets very practical. Because if the only thing motivating you is shame, fear, or self-disgust, eventually you will burn out. But when you learn how to work with dopamine on purpose — when you learn how to romanticize, savor, and reinforce the behaviors that support the life you want — change stops feeling like punishment and starts feeling like momentum.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Why dopamine drives motivation, not just pleasure

How overwhelm shuts down behavior change before it can take root

Why shame-based goals eventually backfire

The difference between focusing on outcomes vs. inputs

How to build intrinsic motivation around drinking less

Why sustainable change depends on enjoying the process, not just wanting the result

This episode is a reminder that the goal isn't to force yourself to become someone new. It's to teach your brain to enjoy being her. Things start to change when you stop telling yourself you have no choice.

If you're tired of feeling trapped and tired of drinking just to feel relief, then Click Here To Book A Call With Us.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

If you've ever reached for a glass of wine at the end of a hard day without really deciding to, this episode is going to explain exactly why that happens — and why it has nothing to do with willpower or self-control.

Your brain isn't misbehaving. It's being efficient. Over hundreds of repetitions, it has learned that alcohol is the fastest available route to nervous system relief — and it has built a neural pathway so well-worn that the decision happens before you're even conscious of it. That's not a character flaw or a lack of willpower. That's neuroscience.

In this conversation, I'm sitting back down with Victoria Star — breathwork facilitator, midlife guide, and one of the most grounded voices I know on nervous system healing — to talk about what microdosing psilocybin actually does in the brain, why so many high-achieving women are turning to plant medicine in midlife, and what any of this has to do with your relationship with alcohol.

Here's what makes this conversation different: psilocybin and alcohol operate on the same neurological terrain. They're both affecting the ratio of automatic, subconscious thinking to conscious, present-moment choice. Understanding how one works gives you a clearer picture of why the other has such a grip — and what it actually takes to loosen it.

In this episode:

Why your brain classifies alcohol as medicine — and why that's a rational response, not a moral failing

What microdosing psilocybin actually does neurologically (and why it's not what most people think)

The difference between a sub-perceptual dose and a hero's journey — and why that distinction matters

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. 

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call

About My Guest, Victoria Lee Starr:

Victoria is a Spiritual Outlaw and Midlife Midwife who guides women through the sacred season of reinvention using breathwork for transformation, guided microdosing plant medicine support, somatic ritual, and emotional excavation.

Connect with Victoria:

Instagram & Facebook: @victorialeestarr

Website: https://www.victorialeestarr.com/

In this minisode, Colleen explores one of the most powerful lies we tell ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or stuck:

"I don't have a choice."

It sounds practical, even responsible. But the moment you believe it, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. You feel trapped, resentful, and powerless, and that's often when the drink starts looking like relief.

Through a breakthrough coaching session, Colleen shares the story of a woman whose boundary-crossing mother lives next door and constantly invades her privacy. The stress was making her physically sick. She came looking for strategies to deal with her mom.

But the real breakthrough came when she realized the truth: she wasn't trapped… she was making a choice.

And the moment that truth landed, her nervous system settled and the solution became obvious.

Colleen also shares her own experience staying in a marriage years longer than she wanted to, and how radical honesty with herself ultimately gave her the power to change her life.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Why the belief "I don't have a choice" dysregulates your nervous system

The difference between being trapped and making a difficult choice

How feelings of powerlessness fuel the urge to drink

Why radical honesty is often the first step toward real freedom

Things start to change when you stop telling yourself you have no choice.

If you're tired of feeling trapped and tired of drinking just to feel relief, then Click Here To Book A Call With Us.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You've been told your drinking is the problem. That if you could just control the behavior — stay sober long enough, count your days, follow the rules — the shame would go away.

But what if it's the other way around?

In this episode, Colleen gets personal about her three years of sobriety and what she discovered underneath all that "perfect behavior" — a lifetime of shame that started long before she ever picked up a bottle of wine. She breaks down why shameful behaviors come FROM shame (not the other way around), why sobriety can become just another form of performing your way around the real problem, and what actually works to break the cycle.

In this episode, you'll learn:

The critical difference between guilt and shame — and why most women are living in shame and calling it guilt

Why the shame driving your drinking didn't start with your drinking — it started in childhood

How perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-functioning, and control are all shame management strategies that require more coping mechanisms like drinking

Why sobriety motivated by shame is built on a fault line — and what happens when it cracks

Colleen's personal story of trading one escape hatch (alcohol) for another (perfectionism and productivity addiction) — and what finally broke the pattern

Key takeaway: Your drinking isn't driving the shame cycle. Shame is driving the drinking cycle. And until you address the shame underneath, no amount of willpower, sobriety challenges, or rule-following will create lasting change.

Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. 

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call

In this episode, Colleen shares a coaching moment that started with a simple scheduling mistake and turned into a powerful lesson about belief systems.

When a client didn't get her breakthrough session as planned, she chose to see the delay differently: not as something happening to her, but something happening for her. That mindset opened the door to a deeper coaching conversation about leadership, standards, and the discomfort that comes with owning your power.

Colleen uses that moment to explore something bigger...
The beliefs we carry shape how we interpret everything that happens in our lives.

Instead of assuming that delays, setbacks, or mistakes mean something has gone wrong, what if they're actually creating the exact conditions you need for the next step?

She shares three Colleen-isms that have fundamentally changed the way she moves through life:

I am always exactly where I'm supposed to be.

This is happening for me, not to me.

If I didn't get what I wanted, I got what I needed.

These beliefs don't eliminate pain or difficulty. But they do transform how you experience them — shifting you out of victimhood and back into agency.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity ---> Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

What do your drinking and your bank account have in common? More than you think.

In this episode, I sit down with mindset coach and Mystic Millionaire Danielle Amos to explore the hidden connection between your money beliefs, your scarcity mindset, and why you reach for the wine at the end of the day. Danielle went from $100K in credit card debt to a million-dollar business — without a website — using the same identity and nervous system work that transforms your relationship with alcohol.

If you've ever felt stuck financially and also stuck in a drinking pattern you can't seem to break, this episode connects the dots.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why the beliefs about money that were programmed into you before age seven are running your drinking today

How shame blocks both financial abundance and your ability to take or leave alcohol

The difference between spending money and investing money — and how that reframe changes everything

Why the law of opposites means setbacks are actually confirmation you're on the right track

What happens when you stop telling yourself "I don't have enough" and start appreciating what you do have

How identity work and nervous system regulation are the common denominator between financial freedom and freedom from alcohol

Connect with Danielle Amos: Instagram: @thedanielleamos Podcast: The Mystic Millionaire

🎥 Watch The FREE Masterclass— The Science Behind Take It or Leave It:
Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too

Where To Find Me:

BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

For two years, "reduce your drinking by 80%" was my signature phrase. It's on my website, my ads, my podcast — everywhere. In this episode, I tell you why I retired it, what I replaced it with, and what this shift means for you — whether you're in my program or hearing my voice for the first time.

This is a behind-the-scenes episode pulled from Coffee with Colleen, my daily internal podcast for clients inside The Next Chapter. You'll hear me talk about how my own messaging accidentally did the thing I teach women not to do — and how catching that blind spot led to a complete rebrand, a new masterclass, and a brand new way into this work.

In this episode:

Links mentioned in this episode:

📞 BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL — $2,000 tuition discount on The Next Chapter expires Feb 28. As long as you book the call before the 28th, we'll honor the discount. [LINK]

🎥 Watch The FREE Masterclass— The Science Behind Take It or Leave It: Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too  [LINK]

🎧 Get the Starter Bundle ($444) — RISE + Skills for Mindful Drinking. The complete Take It or Leave It methodology. Nothing held back. [LINK]

Know someone who needs to hear this? Send her this episode. You don't have to say anything — just send the link.

Most women measure alcohol consumption by how much and how often they drink. But the research says the most important predictor of whether your drinking becomes a real problem isn't about the amount you drink — it's why you drink.

In this episode, I tell the story of the exact day I became a daily drinker — and why I didn't even know it happened. I break down the neuroscience of why drinking to reduce stress is the fast pass to addiction, even if you're not drinking more than anyone else.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why your reason for drinking matters more than how much you drink

The neurological shift that turns a social drinker into a dependent one — and why it's invisible from the outside

How your brain works like an algorithm that quietly narrows your options one drink at a time

The science of why alcohol actually creates stress instead of relieving it (and the cortisol cycle that explains your 3am wake-up)

Why "tolerance" isn't a flex — it's a symptom of something you need to understand

The litmus test that reveals whether you can actually take it or leave it

What the largest study of its kind (43,000+ people) says about how fast stress drinkers develop dependence

If this episode resonated with you:

Watch The FREE Masterclass → The science of take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.

Book A FREE Discovery Call→ It's not a sales pitch. It's a coaching conversation to help you figure out where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there. Right now through February 28th, I'm offering $2,000 off of my year-long program, The Next Chapter.

I've never done a discount like this and I won't be doing one again.

Connect with me:

Watch The FREE Masterclass

BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

✦ February Bonus ✦

Join The Next Chapter by February 28, 2026 and receive $2,000 off. 

In this episode, Colleen reframes one of the biggest misunderstandings about drinking: it's not one behavior — it's a collection of hundreds of habits shaped by context, environment, relationships, and emotional states.

Many women believe their drinking defines who they are because they identify with their worst moments. But emotional sobriety requires a more nuanced understanding. The way you drink when you're alone may be completely different from how you drink socially, with family, or during high-stimulation environments — and each context activates different neural pathways, roles, and protective patterns.

Colleen shares a personal example from a recent holiday gathering where old habits resurfaced despite years of progress. Instead of interpreting it as failure, she approached it as data — an opportunity to reconnect with a younger protective part of herself and practice intentional, mindful drinking strategies.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Why drinking is not one habit, but hundreds of context-driven behaviors

How identifying with your worst drinking moments keeps you stuck

Why old neural pathways don't disappear — they reactivate in familiar environments

The difference between mindful drinking and autopilot drinking

How roles and code-switching influence alcohol use around specific people

Why positive goals ("drink mindfully") work better than avoidance goals ("don't overdo it")

Click here to Book A Discovery Call. Enroll before February 28, 2026 and receive $2,000 off! Calls book up fast. Don't miss your chance! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You think your cravings are a willpower problem. They're not. You think if you could just think differently, you'd drink differently. And that's exactly why nothing has worked.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why the urge to drink starts in your body — not your brain — and giving you three red flags that your drinking is actually a symptom of something most high-achieving women refuse to look at.

In this episode, you'll learn:

The litmus test that reveals whether you can actually "take it or leave it" (be honest with yourself on this one)

Why saying you're "not an emotional person" is the most dangerous thing you can believe about yourself

Three everyday behaviors that are quietly dysregulating your nervous system — and setting you up to overdrink by evening

The science of why you can't stop at two (it's called the biphasic line, and once you understand it, everything clicks)

Why you wake up at 3am full of self-loathing — and why that voice isn't really you

What's actually happening in your body between 6am and 6pm that makes evening-you a completely different person than morning-you

Why "trying harder" is aimed at the wrong part of your brain

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen continues sharing takeaways from her retreat with Dr. Amanda Hanson (midlifemuse) — and she names something that sits underneath so much of women's drinking, overgiving, perfectionism, and burnout: conditioning.

Not just childhood conditioning — cultural conditioning.

Colleen explains how patriarchy functions like an invisible rulebook: the expectations women follow without ever agreeing to them. Be good. Be pleasant. Be grateful. Don't be angry. Don't be too much. Don't embarrass anyone. Don't need too much. Don't take up space. Don't make people uncomfortable.

And over time, those rules don't just shape behavior — they create trauma. They train women to silence their truth, distrust their instincts, and prioritize everyone else's emotional experience over their own. And when a woman is disconnected from her needs, her voice, and her power, escapism becomes inevitable.

That's why Colleen connects this conversation directly to emotional sobriety: freedom isn't just about alcohol. It's about ending self-abandonment, taking radical ownership of your emotional life, and becoming the kind of woman who can handle discomfort without shrinking, pleasing, or numbing.

🔑 Key Takeaways

How culture trains women to abandon themselves to stay safe

Why patriarchy is a trauma system, not a debate topic

How women unconsciously enforce the rules by judging other women

Why "going along to get along" is survival, not character

How escapism becomes the nervous system's only outlet

Why emotional sobriety requires self-trust more than self-control

The reframe: not "tear it down," but rise into power

This is a reminder that you're not here to become a "better woman."

You're here to become a Free woman.

You don't need to be "ready." You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are. Start With A Discovery Call ~ CLICK HERE. 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You told yourself this morning you weren't going to drink tonight. But now that it's time to make that decision, it feels impossible to say no. That moment is exactly what Colleen breaks down in this episode — because the path forward requires you to understand that this is not a lack of discipline and it's not a willpower problem. The relief you feel when you take that first sip has nothing to do with alcohol. It's about what's been happening inside your body all day long — the dumpster fire of stress and anxiety that has chronically become your state of normal. In this episode, Colleen teaches you the foundational skill that changes the way you move through your entire day, so that by evening, instead of telling yourself no, you're telling yourself yes — and there are a lot more options on the menu than just drinking.

In This Episode:

The two versions of you: regulated vs. dysregulated, and why you're a completely different decision-maker in each state

Why your body isn't craving alcohol — it's craving relief

The difference between skills and strategies, and why strategies fail without this foundational skill

Practical strategies that work when you're regulated: Delay Don't Deny, mental rehearsal, talking to your tomorrow self, and extracting the lesson instead of spiraling in shame

The RISE framework: Recognize, Integrate, Strategize, Embody

What it takes to become the version of you who can take or leave alcohol

You don't need to be "ready." You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are. Start with a Discovery Call. CLICK HERE.

Uncover just how supportive a community of women can be when we are all co-creating positive change with intention and clarity.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Do you want to know what's different about the women who can genuinely take or leave alcohol? And why it feels impossible for you to be "more like them?"

In this episode, I'm giving you a sneak peak of my new masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it--why some women can and how you can too.

The masterclass isn't even on my website yet--you'll watch it right on YouTube. 

Click Here to WATCH The Masterclass

Also, I'm running a Love Yourself campaign in honor of Valentine's Day.
If you book a call and decide to join The Next Chapter, you'll get $2,000 off !

Click Here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL

The call is how you lock in the discount — and it's a real conversation, not a sales pitch. Even if you just have questions, book it. That's what it's for.

I was one of the most therapized people you've ever met.

I knew my triggers. I'd unpacked my daddy issues, my relationship with my mom, my insecurity, my eating disorders, problems in my marriage. I cognitively understood what triggered me and why I wanted to drink so much.

And that did fuck-all to reduce my cravings.

Which is how I know that awareness isn't enough. Understanding the pattern doesn't break the pattern. And talk therapy—as valuable as it is—didn't change how I felt in my body. 

Today's guest is Dr. Amanda Hanson, a clinical psychologist who spent the first half of her 27-year career practicing traditional therapy—until she realized all that talking wasn't actually helping women change. What she discovered instead will completely transformed how you think about emotions, nervous system regulation, and why so many of us numb instead of feel.

We go deep in this conversation. We talk about why women are taught to source their safety outside of themselves—and what happens when you stop. We talk about the rage release practice that cracked me open at her retreat. We talk about aging, beauty, and the cultural scam that keeps women distracted from their real power. And we talk about what it actually takes to stop abandoning yourself.

If you've done the therapy, read the books, understand your patterns—and you're still stuck—this episode is going to show you what's missing.

In this episode, we cover:

→ Why traditional talk therapy often isn't enough to change behavior 

→ The difference between being emotionally dysregulated and being fully alive

→ How self-abandonment leads to numbing (wine, food, scrolling)

→ What a rage release and grief release practices look like 

→ How to give yourself the things you've been waiting for someone else to give you

→ Aging, beauty, and refusing to be complicit in a system designed to keep women small

Dr. Amanda Hanson is a clinical psychologist with 27 years of experience who now works with women in ways radically different from her traditional training. She is the host of the podcast Things Your Mother Never Told You and creator of the Magnetic retreat experience.

Find her on Instagram @midlife.muse or at AmandaHanson.com

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen shares a raw, surprising takeaway from a recent retreat — one that had nothing to do with learning new concepts and everything to do with experiencing her body in a new way.

What began as deep discomfort around words like sensuality and sexual energy opened into a realization many women quietly live with: when you've been taught to fear, suppress, or perform your body for others, you often shut down far more than sexuality — you shut down joy, creativity, pleasure, and aliveness. And when that energy stays blocked, the body looks for relief wherever it can find it.

Colleen explores how drinking, numbing, and emotional shutdown aren't moral failures or cravings for "bad behavior," but attempts to regulate trapped energy in a body that hasn't felt safe to move, express, or feel. She explains the difference between processing trauma cognitively and liberating energy physically — and why movement, music, and instinctive expression can unlock more healing than insight alone.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Why blocked sensual and creative energy often shows up as numbness or drinking

How purity culture and performative sexuality disconnect women from their bodies

The difference between sexual energy and sexual behavior

Why movement is a powerful form of emotional regulation

How suppressing instinctive expression drains energy and joy

Why healing doesn't always come from "working through it" — sometimes it comes from moving through it

How reconnecting with your body creates relief without numbing

This episode is about reclaiming your body as your own — not for a partner, not for performance, not for approval — but as a source of power, pleasure, and presence. It's a reminder that the body doesn't want to be fixed — it wants to be seen and felt.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

I woke up a little hungover this morning. I had a third glass of wine I didn't need. And instead of spiraling into shame, I did what I always do now—I grabbed my journal and got curious.

In this episode, I'm walking you through exactly what I do the morning after I drink too much. The four mindset tools that set me up to learn instead of spiral into shame. The journaling framework I use to extract the lesson. And what I discovered about why my mind and body were out of sync.

But I'm also being honest: this process only works if you're in a certain place in your journey. If shame and frustration are still running the show, this episode might feel overwhelming. If that's you, I'll explain what to do instead.

What I cover:

→ Why another drink feels like a good idea when your nervous system is stressed

→ The four mindset tools you need to expand your perspective so you can extract a valuable lesson

→ How to tell the difference between your conscious intentions and subconscious habits

→ Why willpower doesn't work when you're dysregulated

→ What to do if this process feels impossible (you've got to clear the shame first)

→ The four phases of this journey and how to know where you are

This episode is for you if:

You tend to overdrink and you're tired of the shame spiral

You want to actually learn from your mistakes so you can stop repeating them

You're curious about what it looks like to change your drinking without white-knuckling

You want to understand why some approaches work for some people and not others

You're ready to figure out where you are in your journey and what you actually need

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen responds to a question many women hit right after real momentum begins: What if I slip back? What if the funk comes back and I lose everything I've built?

Using a recent coaching call — and her own very real 5 a.m. spiral — she breaks down why the goal of emotional sobriety isn't avoiding hard days, negative thoughts, or uncomfortable emotions. It's learning how to recognize them early and change your relationship to them before they hijack your nervous system and run the day.

Colleen explains why awareness is most of mental health, how negative thought loops become habits, and what actually separates "good" mental health from bad: who's driving the car — you, or your mind. She walks through the five core attributes of a healthy mindset and shows how shifting perspective first is what makes action, clarity, and forward motion possible.

This episode reframes funks as normal, growth as uncomfortable, and success as the ability to take ownership in real time — not the absence of struggle.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Why the goal isn't avoiding funks — it's changing how you respond to them

How awareness interrupts negative thought spirals before they take over

Why mental health is a skill, not a personality trait

The difference between being driven by your mind vs. driving it

The five attributes of a healthy, powerful mindset

Why feeling better comes before changing your circumstances

How internal locus of control creates momentum, resilience, and freedom

This episode is a reminder that you don't lose progress because you wake up in a funk — you lose progress when you let the funk decide who you are and how you show up.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Why does the wine start calling at 5pm—even when you promised yourself this morning you wouldn't drink tonight? In this episode, Colleen breaks down exactly what's happening in your nervous system when willpower fails, why high achievers are stuck in chronic stress mode, and how the shame spiral is actually making you drink more. Plus, three body-based tools you can use tonight to complete your stress cycle and finally give your body what it's actually asking for.

Your desire to drink at night isn't weakness. It's your nervous system asking for relief the only way it knows how.

Your body doesn't speak English—she speaks energy, movement, rhythm, breath, and sensation.

The habit that needs to break isn't how much you drink. It's the belief that you have to stay in constant motion.

Expanding capacity isn't about doing less. It's about teaching your body how to hold more without living in survival mode.

When you learn to give your body what it actually needs, the drink becomes optional—not because you're white-knuckling, but because you're not desperate anymore.

Shaking/Swaying — All animals shake off stress. Release the energy that got stuck in your muscles.

The Voo Exercise — Deep breath in, then "vooooo" until all the air is out. Stimulates your vagus nerve.

Bilateral Stimulation — Left-right rhythmic movement (walking, tapping shoulders, tapping thighs) tells your nervous system you're not frozen.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths in emotional sobriety: drinking isn't a character issue — it's a nervous system response to chronic stress, shame, and unmet needs.

Drawing from The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, she explains why so many of us learned to survive in environments that never felt safe — and how culture, economics, and generational trauma quietly wire our bodies to seek relief wherever we can find it.

This episode explores why healing often makes the urge to numb louder at first, how shame removes our sense of choice, and why compassion isn't a feeling you wait for — it's a perspective you practice. Colleen reframes healing not as fixing what's broken, but as recovering the parts of yourself that adapted to survive.

This is a conversation about why the drink was never the point — and how emotional sobriety begins when you understand what the behavior has been protecting you from.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Why drinking is often about relief, not desire

How chronic stress and insecurity train the nervous system to numb

Why shame keeps you reactive instead of choiceful

The difference between fixing yourself and retrieving yourself

Why compassion works better than willpower

How healing becomes possible when responsibility feels empowering, not punitive

This episode is a reminder that the behavior makes sense — and that understanding it is what gives you your power back.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

This is a follow-up to last week's episode about a client whose New Year's resolution to "drink less" was already failing two days in. I talked about how emotional overwhelm leads to a "functional freeze," and why this is more than a habit, it's a survival strategy. 

On the coaching call, we uncovered exactly why she's needed a survival strategy. Like many women who experience a decrease in libido due to hormone changes, she's spent the last decade having obligatory sex with her husband. Because a good wife takes care of her man, right? But also having to put up with his temper tantrums and passive aggressive behavior when she doesn't put out has left her with a mountain of frustration and resentment that until now, she didn't have the tools to process.

This episode is about the emotional straightjacket so many women find themselves in. How having sex to keep the peace forces you to disconnect from not just your sexual energy, but your life force energy.  Which is why it makes complete sense that you'd rather drink alone than be intimate with the man you love. 

In this episode, I cover:

→ The functional freeze: when you're going through the motions but feel dead inside

→ How obligatory sex shuts down desire for everything—not just sex

→ Why you need to stop participating in the hostage negotiation over your vagina

→ How the cultural programming that says women are responsible for men's sexual needs is destroying your marriage

→It's not menopause that's disabling your libido

→ The only way to rekindle desire is to give yourself what you want (especially when what you want is to be left alone)

→ Why the relationship you need to focus on repairing is NOT with your partner, but with yourself

This episode is for you if:

You'd rather drink alone than have sex with your partner

You've lost passion for things you used to love

You feel like you're just going through the motions

You've been "going along to get along" for so long you don't know who you are

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen breaks down one of the most misunderstood moments in personal growth: the space between feeling pressure to decide and actually being ready to decide.

Drawing from her own experience with sobriety, divorce, and rebuilding her life from the ground up, she explains why urgency is almost never a sign of clarity — and why the nervous system's state matters more than the decision itself. Through the lens of emotional sobriety, Colleen introduces a simple but powerful framework for discerning truth from fear by tuning into the body's signals instead of the mind's panic.

You'll hear how stress, overwhelm, and safety each create completely different "radio stations" in your nervous system — and why decisions made from red- or yellow-light states tend to repeat old patterns, even when they look logical on paper. Colleen also shares how learning to separate identity truth from situational escape changed everything in her own relationships.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Why urgency is a feeling, not a fact — and why most decisions can wait

The three nervous system states (green, yellow, red) and how they distort decision-making

How to tell the difference between truth and a stress-based escape plan

Why the only thing you can truly "know" is who you are — not what you should do

How fear, guilt, and shame keep you choosing the familiar instead of the aligned

Why there is no "right" decision — only decisions you learn from

What actually changes when you trust yourself to handle whatever comes next

This episode is a reminder that clarity doesn't come from forcing answers — it comes from safety, self-trust, and the willingness to sit still long enough to hear yourself.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Are you worried about "failing" at your resolution to drink less this year? Before you beat yourself up after your next slip, I need you to understand something: this isn't a willpower problem. It's not a discipline problem. Because this is far more than a habit problem.

It's a survival strategy.

In this episode, I'm responding to a message from a client who found herself on the couch with wine and chips after a fight with her husband—even though she swore that she was done with all that. I'm breaking down the difference between a habit and a survival strategy, why your nervous system reaches for food and alcohol when you're overwhelmed, and what it actually takes to change this pattern for good.

In this episode, I cover:

→ The difference between a habit and a survival strategy (and why it matters)

→ Why negative goals ("drink less") don't work and what to focus on instead

→ How I was stuck in this pattern for two decades—and what finally changed

→ Why humans default to victimhood and how empowerment must be learned

This episode is for you if:

You've worried about "failing" to keep your New Year's resolution

You find yourself in the same pothole every night

You're exhausted from fighting a battle you keep losing

You think you know what you should and don't understand why you can't get yourself to do it

You're ready to stop surviving and start thriving

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc