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If Books Could Kill

If Books Could Kill

The airport bestsellers that captured our hearts and ruined our minds

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patreon.com/IfBooksPod

Episodes

Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink"

The Supreme Court Goes Full TERF [TEASER]

This is most of the episode but if you want to hear the last 20 minutes, support us on Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

2025-07-01
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Bonus: The Lab Leak Goes Mainstream

By popular demand we are releasing last month's Patreon bonus episode on the main feed! We chart the transformation of the lab leak from an unfounded theory promoted by right-wing cranks to an unfounded theory promoted by liberal journalists.

Where to find us: 

Peter's newsletterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase


Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2025-06-05
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Steve Harvey's "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man"

Are you a single lady struggling to find love with a man? Don't fret! A twice-divorced game show host who thinks conversation is for women is here to help.

Where to find us: 

Peter's newsletterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2025-03-28
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Of Boys And Men

You Are A Badass

Peter and Michael dissect Jen Sincero's "You are a Badass," a book that answers the question: What if "The Secret" was written in the painful, try-hard style of "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck"? Featuring a surprise digression about Sincero's other, even worse books.

Where to find us: 

Peter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

Savy Writes Books

Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2025-01-23
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What's The Matter With Kansas?

UNLOCKED: Eric Adams

New York?s favorite criminal is in the news, so here is our episode about his ridiculous life.

To hear all of our bonus episodes, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

2024-09-26
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Glenn Kessler Retire B*tch [TEASER]

Is fact-checking a legitimate enterprise? Is America's most famous fact-checker nothing more than a dweeb? Michael and Peter discuss.

To hear the rest of the episode, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod




2024-09-26
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Breaking News Re-Release: "Hillbilly Elegy"

To celebrate ("celebrate") Donald Trump choosing JD Vance as his running mate we are re-releasing our "Hillbilly Elegy" episode. Enjoy!

2024-07-17
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The Columbia Protests [TEASER]

Peter and Michael discuss the media coverage of the protests at Columbia ? from the crazed, bloodthirsty ravings of right-wing media to the more muted, respectful bloodthirst of centrist media.

To hear the rest of the episode, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

2024-05-16
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Who's Afraid of Naomi Wolf? [TEASER]

We're finally discussing a good book! Naomi Klein's "Doppelgänger" chronicles the long, steady descent of another Naomi ? Wolf (buddy oof) ? from feminist icon to crank conspiracist. 

To hear the rest of the episode, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

2024-03-28
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"The Better Angels of Our Nature" Part 1: You're Not Wrong, Pinker. You're Just An *sshole

This week we're tackling Steven Pinker's 900 page dissection of the reasons why violence, torture and war have declined over the last 10,000 years. Was it an indeterminate mixture of politics, economics, technology and serendipity?  Or did some European guys write some books that said murder was bad?

Special thanks to Philip Dwyer, Eleanor Janega, David M. Perry and Doug Thompson for help researching and fact-checking this episode!

Where to find us: 

Peter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

The Darker Angels of Our NatureGetting Medieval On Steven PinkerThe Decline of Violence in the West: From Cultural to Post-Cultural HistoryPinker?s (Mis)Representation of the Enlightenment and ViolenceHerding and Homicide: An Examination of the Nisbett-Reaves HypothesisPeace in Our TimeJohn Gray: Steven Pinker is wrong about violence and warThe business class doesn't understand the EnlightenmentDelusions Of PeacePinker And ProgressNorbert Elias and the History of ViolenceModernization, Self-Control And Lethal ViolenceExplaining Long Term Trends in Violent CrimeThe Enlightenment?s Dark Side

 Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2024-02-22
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The Art of the Deal

Before Donald Trump became America's most prominent politician and birth certificate inspector, he spent his days making everyone in New York City slightly uncomfortable. Michael and Peter discuss "The Art of the Deal," Trump?s 1987 bestseller chronicling his exploits as a celebrity slumlord.

Where to find us: 

TwitterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

When Donald Trump Took Down Holiday Inns The Lost City of Trump Who Runs New York Now? How Donald Trump Bankrupted His Atlantic City Casinos, but Still Earned Millions Doer and Slumlord Both Donald Trump Gets What He WantsDonald Trump was a nightmare landlord in the 1980s Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America

 Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2024-01-11
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The Identity Trap

"There are two kinds of political scientists: The types who deal with noisy data and post on Twitter with a bunch of caveats. And then there are the types who write books about identity politics."
 
Where to find us: 

TwitterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

Sam  Huneke's "Yascha Mounk?s Woke Straw Man"Jacob T. Levy's "The Defense of Liberty Can?t Do Without Identity Politics"Olúf??mi O. Táíwò's "Elite Capture"Aaron Huertas's "We Need to Talk About Reactionary Centrists"Mary Lin Elementary under federal investigationParents refute claims of segregation at Mary Lin Elementary SchoolSchool Segregation in Metropolitan Regions, 1970?200060 Years After BrownSchool choice and racial segregation in US schoolsStudent Population Has Significantly Diversified, But Many Schools Remain Divided Along Racial, Ethnic, and Economic LinesU.S. public school students often go to schools where at least half of their peers are the same race or ethnicityThe Return of Old-Fashioned Racism to White Americans? Partisan PreferencesWhy The Democrats Have Shifted Left Over The Last 30 YearsWidespread misperceptions of long-term attitude changeTrump, the 2016 Election, and Expressions of SexismChanging Norms Following the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election: The Trump Effect on PrejudiceChanges in Americans? prejudices during the presidency of Donald TrumpThe CDC slide presentationModel-informed COVID-19 vaccine prioritization strategies

 Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2023-12-14
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Pundit Portraits: Kathleen Parker and Chris Cillizza [TEASER]

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

You stare, mouth agape, at the bookstore display. It?s a self-help book, but with curse words in the title?! This must be a revolutionary new framework, not simply the same dull, reactionary ideas repackaged as hip and new.

Support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

Where to find us: 

TwitterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck (Blog Post)Where A is Ordinary: The Evolution of American College and University Grading, 1940-2009We?ve Been Handing Out Participation Trophies for 100 Years
Positive Disintegration?The Subtle Art of Not Giving a #@%!? Review: A Blunt Philosophy

 Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!



2023-11-21
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The "Organized Retail Crime" Panic [TEASER]

Retailers have been sounding the alarm about a shoplifting epidemic driven by organized criminal syndicates. In a shocking twist, it turns out that their story is mostly made up. Join us as Peter tries to figure out where this panic originated and as Mike finally comes clean about his criminal past.


To hear the rest of the show, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

2023-10-26
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The 4-Hour Workweek

Have you ever wanted to escape the grind and follow your dreams? This week we're discussing "The 4-Hour Workweek," which reveals that all you need is a plan, a willingness to take risks and a modestly sized fraud operation built on Third World labor.

Support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

Where to find us: 

TwitterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

The Fraud and the Four-Hour WorkweekRevisiting "The 4-Hour Workweek"New! Improved! Shape Up Your Life!From Productivity to Psychedelics: Tim Ferriss Has Changed His Mind About Success

 Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2023-09-21
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The Clinton E-Mail Scandal [TEASER]

But her e-mails! Michael explains the non-scandal that captivated the mainstream media in 2016 while Peter attempts to sow the podcast with anti-Hillary sentiment.

To hear the rest of the show, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod


2023-09-14
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'On Bullsh*t' and the Pundit Industrial Complex [TEASER]

For this month's bonus episode we dissected Harry Frankfurt's gloriously brief bestseller and applied the concept to our favorite op-ed page. 

To hear the rest of the show, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod




2023-08-10
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Are The Straights OK [TEASER]

In our "Rules" and "Game" episodes we didn't get a chance to dissect the phenomenon of online dating (i.e. describe our worst dates and read cringe profiles out loud to each other), so that is what we are doing on today's bonus episode. 

To hear the rest of the show, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

2023-07-13
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BONUS: Conservatives vs. Pride Month

Lots of subscribers asked us to release last month's bonus episode in full so here it is! Share it with the conservatives, the boomers and the Satanists in your life.

Support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod
 

Where to find us: 

TwitterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2023-07-06
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The World is Flat

Much has been said about globalization, but perhaps no one has said it worse than Thomas Friedman.

Content Note: Discussions of xenophobic and racist content, especially toward the end of the episode.

Support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

Where to find us: 

TwitterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

Why The World Isn't FlatThe World Is Still Not FlatDHL Global Connectedness Index 2022The Fallacies of FlatnessThe Sociopathy of Thomas Friedman: A CompendiumThomas Friedman sums up the Iraq War (YouTube)

 Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

2023-06-01
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The Meme Stock Cult [TEASER]

In 2021, scrappy young investors from across the world joined forces to buy GameStop stock, aiming to take down greedy hedge funds. What came next was tragedy, injustice, and a conspiratorial internet cult so stupid we had to do an episode about it.

To hear the rest of the show, support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

2023-05-15
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"Nudge" Part 1: A Simple Solution For Littering, Organ Donations and Climate Change

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