Today's Scripture: Jonah 4:1–11 What happens when your anger is justified—but begins to take over? Anger can alert us to injustice, protect us from harm, and help us recognize what matters. But it can also keep us trapped in our own perspective. Through the surprising story of Jonah, we explore what happens when anger becomes entitlement—and how to find a wiser way forward. We explore: The difference between feeling anger and becoming consumed by it Why needing to be "right" can keep us stuck What anger reveals about our need for control How to honor anger without losing perspective Go Deeper: Read Boundaries for Your Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 12:1–7 What happens when the people who are supposed to represent God's love use fear, shame, or control instead? Jesus has some surprisingly strong words for religious leaders who misuse their influence. Today, we explore what happens when religious hypocrisy distorts our view of God—and how to begin finding our way back to what is true. We explore: The hidden danger of religious hypocrisy When spiritual authority becomes manipulation Why questioning a leader can feel so threatening What Jesus says to those who've been hurt Go Deeper: Read The Best of You: Breaking Free from Painful Patterns, Mending the Past, and Discovering Your True Self in God Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 142:1–5 How do you learn to be content when you're lonely and longing for companionship? Inspired by a listener's heartfelt question, today's episode explores how to honor the ache of loneliness without letting fear determine the rest of your story. We explore: Why loneliness isn't a failure of faith What to do with the fear of being alone forever What contentment really means How to hold both longing and hope Go Deeper: Ryan Kuja's post Episode 134: A Personal Journey Through OCD with Therapist Ryan Kuja Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Romans 7:15 Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating a behavior you genuinely want to change? Sometimes it feels like there's a whole committee meeting inside your mind, with different parts of you pulling in different directions. Understanding these inner tensions can help you break free from old patterns without getting caught in shame and self-criticism. Why different parts of you can want conflicting things What's underneath the habits you can't seem to break How curiosity and compassion create room for change What Paul's words about grace teach us about inner transformation Go Deeper: For more on understanding and caring for the different parts of your soul, read Boundaries for Your Soul and The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when you believe God loves you, but deep down, you still feel like you have to earn it? For many of us, the way we experienced love growing up shapes the way we relate to God. We may know the right things about his love, yet find ourselves striving to be good enough, serve enough, or do enough to deserve it. In today's conversation, Dr. Alison is joined by beloved author and speaker Stasi Eldredge, whose new book, The Ladder of Love, explores the many ways Scripture invites us into a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. We explore: *How your childhood experiences shape the way you see God *Why knowing you're loved and feeling loved can be so different *7 surprising ways Scripture describes our relationship with God *What it looks like to grow closer to God in everyday life *What Stasi wishes she'd known about God's love years ago Stasi shares her own remarkable journey—from encountering Jesus as a young woman, to struggling with depression and wounds from her childhood, to discovering a relationship with God as Father that transformed how she understood herself and his love. About Stasi Eldredge: Stasi Eldredge is an author and speaker passionate about helping women experience the goodness of God and the transforming love of Jesus. With a background in sociology and decades of ministry experience spanning youth, women, children, and crisis pregnancy support, she is dedicated to helping others grow deeper in their faith and discover the freedom found in Christ.  More Resources: Get Stasi’s new book: Ladder of Love. Learn more about Stasi Eldredge here. Get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Exodus 16:4, 16, 19 When you're facing an uncertain future, it's natural to want a plan, some reassurance, or a glimpse of how everything will turn out. But what happens when God doesn't give you the clarity you're hoping for? The Israelites' experience in the wilderness offers a surprising lesson about uncertainty, daily provision, and learning to trust God one day at a time. We explore: Why uncertainty can make us long for the familiarity of the past The difference between wise planning and trying to control the future What the Israelites' daily manna teaches us about trusting God How to recognize what's yours to do today—and what isn't yours to control Go Deeper: Episode 208 Spiritual Dryness, Burnout, and the Desert Seasons of Faith with Tish Harrison Warren Read I Shouldn't Feel This Way Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 15:12–13 Jesus calls us to love sacrificially. But how do you know when you're making a healthy sacrifice for someone you love—and when you're slowly losing yourself in the process? The distinction matters, especially when you've learned to equate being a good Christian with always putting yourself last. We explore: What Jesus' own sense of belovedness teaches us about sacrificial love The subtle difference between healthy sacrifice and over-functioning Why denying yourself doesn't mean abandoning yourself How to discern what love is actually asking of you in a relationship Go Deeper: For more on loving others without losing yourself, read The Best of You Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Proverbs 29:25 Have you ever said yes when you wanted to say no—or agreed with someone just to avoid conflict? People-pleasing can become an automatic response, especially when you've learned that keeping others happy is the safest way to maintain connection. But you can begin to change this pattern without losing your compassion for others. We explore: Why people-pleasing can feel almost impossible to stop What fawning reveals about your fear of disappointing others How to find security beyond someone else's approval Small ways to practice saying no without guilt Go Deeper: For more on how to recognize protective patterns and retrain your soul to find security in God's love, explore The Secure Soul and The Secure Soul Companion Guide Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 John 4:1–2 How do you become wise about who to trust without growing suspicious of everyone? In a world full of charismatic leaders, confident voices, and competing spiritual claims, John's instruction to "test the spirits" offers a powerful way to practice discernment while keeping your heart open. In today's episode, we explore: What John really means by "testing the spirits" Why charisma and confidence can cloud our judgment How to recognize the difference between spiritual authority and genuine character Three practical ways to grow in discernment without becoming cynical Go Deeper: Episode 231: How to Know Who You Can Trust: The Difference Between Charisma, Character, and Real Change Episode 190: Self-Brain Surgery, Overcoming Trauma, and the Courage to Change How You Think with Dr. Lee Warren Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know you can trust someone? In a world where charisma, confidence, and even vulnerability can be carefully performed, knowing who we can trust feels more important than ever. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison sits down with longtime friend, therapist, and author Dr. Chuck DeGroat to explore what real character looks like, why genuine change is slower than we want it to be, and how to discern the difference between surface-level transformation and lasting integrity. Together, they unpack this incredibly important question of discerning when someone is trustworthy, as well as how to become people of character ourselves. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why charisma and vulnerability don’t always signal trustworthy character. * How to recognize manipulation disguised as emotional maturity or spiritual wisdom. * What genuine character change looks like and how long it takes * How to balance compassion for others with healthy boundaries and accountability. About Dr. Chuck DeGroat: Dr. Chuck DeGroat is a professor, licensed therapist, author, and ordained minister specializing in pastoral health, spiritual abuse, religious trauma, and emotional and spiritual well-being. He serves as Professor of Counseling and Christian Spirituality and Founding Executive Director of the Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program at Western Theological Seminary. He is also the founder of The Soul Care Collaborative and a faculty member at the Soul Care Institute. With decades of experience in pastoral ministry, leadership development, and trauma-informed care, Dr. DeGroat helps individuals and church leaders navigate emotional and spiritual challenges toward greater wholeness and flourishing. More Resources: Get Dr. Chuck DeGroat's new book: Who You're Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age Find more information about Dr. Chuck DeGroat here. Get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠. Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for us to bring you these resources for free! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Proverbs 27:9, 17 Finding good friends as an adult can be surprisingly difficult. Friendships change, life circumstances shift, and loneliness can creep in even when we're surrounded by people. Proverbs offers a beautiful picture of friendship that combines genuine enjoyment with the kind of honesty and wisdom that helps us grow. In today's episode, we explore: Two surprising qualities of a good friendship Why the people you spend time with shape who you become What psychology reveals about how long it takes to build a close friendship How to recognize and cultivate friendships that can weather disagreements and disappointments Go Deeper: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring Out the Best of You with Curt Thompson Episode 61: Reconnecting with Old Friends Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 16:21–23 What happens when someone who genuinely loves you questions a decision you know you need to make? Even Jesus faced resistance from a close friend who wanted to protect him. His response reveals something surprising about the relationship between selflessness, inner strength, and staying true to your calling. In today's episode, we explore: Why even people who love us can give misguided advice What Jesus reveals about the strength behind true selflessness How to build confidence in your own voice, one small step at a time How to stay connected to someone without letting their fears guide your decisions Go Deeper: For more on developing a strong sense of self, explore The Best of You Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 31:14–20 Have you ever been in a painful situation where others are urging you to take action, but something deep within you is telling you to wait? There's a difference between avoiding a hard decision and discerning that the time to act hasn't yet come. Psalm 31 offers a powerful picture of what it means to face difficult circumstances honestly while entrusting yourself to God's timing. In today's episode, we explore: How to discern the difference between passive avoidance and the spiritual wisdom of waiting on God What David's prayer, "My times are in your hands," teaches us about trusting God amid injustice, uncertainty, and suffering What it means to suffer wisely How to recognize when the time has come to speak up, advocate for yourself or someone you love, or take the next courageous step Go Deeper: For more on discerning when to fight for change, when to leave, and when to suffer wisely, explore I Shouldn't Feel This Way Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: James 4:7 (listener request) How do you know whether painful thoughts are coming from a wounded part of your soul or from spiritual opposition? When we're caught in cycles of rumination, self-criticism, or shame, discerning what's happening within us can be complicated. But we don't always have to identify the exact source of a thought to know how to respond to it. We explore: *How psychology and spiritual warfare intersect *Why painful feelings need compassion, but shaming thoughts need to be challenged *What James 4:7 teaches us about resisting lies *How to practice compassion and discernment in God's presenceGo deeper: ⁠Episode 197⁠: Am I Under Attack—or Just Overwhelmed? Spiritual Warfare and Personal Responsibility with Joel Muddamalle Episode 229: Why Your Soul Needs Quiet in a Noisy World with John Mark Comer Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered whether you're truly burned out or simply depleted? And what happens when, in the process of meeting everyone else's needs, you lose touch with important parts of yourself? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and co-author of the trailblazing book, Boundaries, to explore how we can recognize burnout, restore our emotional health, and reconnect with the parts of ourselves we may have lost along the way. Drawing from his new book, Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your Relationships, and Your Peace, Dr. Cloud shares why rest alone isn't always enough, how our emotions signal when something is out of balance, and why healthy relationships help us become more fully ourselves. Dr. Cloud also shares a powerful personal story about his own childhood that you do not want to miss. In this episode, you’ll learn: *The difference between depletion and burnout *How to tell when your rhythms and boundaries need attention. *Why structure is so important, and how to set intentional rhythms of rest and renewal *How safe relationships can help us reclaim lost parts of ourselves. About Dr. Henry Cloud: Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and New York Times bestselling author. He has written or co-written more than 45 books, including the bestselling Boundaries, with nearly 20 million copies sold worldwide. Drawing on his experience in clinical psychology, executive coaching, and leadership consulting, Dr. Cloud helps individuals and organizations strengthen relationships, develop healthy boundaries, and reach their full potential. He works with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership, and organizational culture. More Resources: Dr. Henry Cloud is the author of a new book: Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your Relationships, and Your Peace Other books of Dr. Henry Cloud  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠. Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Air Doctor Pro - Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU and get up to $300 off ANY of their select AirDoctor models, plus you will get a 3-year warranty,absolutely FREE!  All AirDoctor air purifiers come with a 30-day money back guarantee.  Get this exclusive, podcast-only offer NOW at AirDoctorPro.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 17:28-30 (Listener request) Have you ever felt like you're always the one being blamed or misunderstood in your family or relationships? When you're repeatedly cast as the difficult or sensitive one, it's easy to begin questioning your own perspective—and even your sense of who you are. We explore: *What family systems theory teaches us about scapegoating and the roles we take on in relationships*How being repeatedly blamed can shape your identity and make it difficult to trust your own perspectiveWhat David's response to his brother reveals about the freedom to stop defending yourself against every accusationHow to become a truth-teller and pattern breaker, taking responsibility for what's yours without carrying what belongs to othersGo deeper: Explore The Best of You and The Secure Soul For help navigating painful family dynamics, find therapy resources at www.dralisoncook.com/resources Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 5:1-6 Is there an area of your life where you've longed for healing but have almost given up on things changing? Maybe you've prayed, sought help, and tried everything you know to do. Sometimes we become so accustomed to our circumstances—or so attached to a particular vision of healing—that we struggle to imagine what else might be possible.explore: *Various ways we respond to Jesus' question, "Do you want to get well?" *How we adapt to painful circumstances, and why familiar patterns can make change feel unsettling*What happens when we focus so intently on obstacles & outcomes that we lose sight of the One who offers healing*How to bring our honest longings to God Go Deeper: Episode 227: What Trusting God Really Looks Like When You Can’t Control the Outcome with Susie Larson Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 139:13–16 Have you ever found yourself reaching for your phone, looking for something to eat when you're not hungry, or compulsively checking things off your to-do list? Sometimes these are simply habits. But sometimes they're small signals from within—what I like to think of as your soul's bids for connection. In today's episode, we explore:*Why we are both wonderfully made and wounded—and what that means for how we relate to ourselves*How the Gottmans' concept of bids for connection applies to our inner lives*How to recognize the subtle ways your soul asks for attention*How to invite God's loving presence into the hidden places within youGo deeper: Explore The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy at TheSecureSoulBook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 3:14–21 You may know in your head that God loves you. But what does it mean to actually experience that love in the deepest places of who you are?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to become rooted and established in love. She explores how God’s love can begin to reach the fearful, striving, and hurting parts of us—not just as something we believe, but as something we learn to receive.Go Deeper: Learn more about becoming rooted in God’s love in The Secure Soul and The Secure Soul Companion Guide— find free resources at thesecuresoulbook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when we finally get quiet enough to encounter ourselves, God, and what’s underneath all the noise? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by former pastor and New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer to talk about his new book, Into the Quiet, and the surprisingly difficult practice of silence and solitude. They talk about what happens when we stop filling every empty space with our phones, work, entertainment, and distraction. What comes up in the quiet isn’t always what we expect. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why getting quiet can be difficult but what we can discover when we finally slow down * How silence and solitude can help us become more present to ourselves and to God * How to recognize the difference between healthy reflection and rumination * When we’re meeting a part of our own soul vs. the enemy of our soul * How to start practicing quietness in small, manageable steps As John Mark says, “The point is just to offer ourselves more deeply to God.” About John Mark Comer: John Mark Comer is a teacher and a writer. He has his Masters in Biblical and Theological Studies and a Teacher in Residence at Vintage Church LA. He is a New York Times bestselling author of seven books. His most recent book is Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise. More Resources: Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise by John Mark Comer Other books by John Mark Comer The Practicing the Way nonprofit  Past episode with John Mark Comer and Dr. Alison Cook on the Best of You is here.  Dr. Alison Cook with John Mark Comer on the Rule of Life Podcast  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11 What if the season you’re in isn’t something to escape, but something to name honestly? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the invitation to recognize the season of life you’re actually living. Some seasons hold joy, others grief, and many hold both at once. Naming what’s true can help us stop fighting reality and become more open to God’s presence within it.Go Deeper: Learn more about the practice of naming what’s hard in I Shouldn’t Feel This Way. You can read the first few chapters free at dralisoncook.com/book. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 10:29–37 What if the part of you you most want to get rid of is also carrying something important?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the parable of the Good Samaritan and turns the story inward. She explores the parts of us we distrust, criticize, or try to push away—and how learning to meet those places with compassion can change the way we love God, ourselves, and other people.Go Deeper: Learn more about working with the different parts of your soul in Boundaries for Your Soul and The Secure Soul at dralisoncook.com/books. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:11 There are so many voices competing for our attention—telling us what to believe, what to fear, who to distrust, and where our loyalty belongs.In today’s episode, Dr. Alison returns to a simple prayer for an undivided heart. She explores what it looks like to become more deeply rooted in God, and how bringing every part of yourself honestly into God’s presence.Go Deeper: Notice one place where you feel scattered, pressured, or pulled by the voices around you today. Pause before reacting and pray: “Teach me your way, Lord. Give me an undivided heart.”And listen Thursday for Alison’s conversation with John Mark Comer about his new book, Into the Quiet. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when trying to be more secure (on the surface) backfires? This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Marisa Franco, about her new book, Worth. They explore a different way to think about anxious and avoidant attachment, the surprising science of how old memories continue to shape our present relationships, and why healing doesn’t require making someone else the villain. They also talk about grief, empathy, and a powerful experience Marisa had in therapy that changed how she understood the parts of herself she had spent years trying to hide. In this episode, you’ll learn: *A different way to understand anxious and avoidant attachment *Why seemingly small moments can trigger surprisingly big reactions *The fascinating science of memory reconsolidation *What grief has to do with genuine empathy and closeness *The surprising overlap between attachment science, parts work, and spiritual healing About Dr. Marisa G. Franco: Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a psychologist, professor, and New York Times bestselling author of Platonic. Her new book is Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. More Resources: Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment—available wherever books are sold Dr. Marisa G. Franco  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AquaTru - Shower Head - Right now, my listeners can get 20% off AquaTru Shower at AquaTruShower.com with promo code SHBESTOFYOU. It also comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. That’s AquaTruShower.com, promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional). *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens to your capacity to trust God when life has taught you to brace for disappointment? You may still believe God is good. You may know the Scriptures and have walked with Him for years. And yet there can be places inside of you that still struggle to trust His goodness toward you. This week, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author and radio host Susie Larson for an honest conversation about trauma, chronic illness, unanswered prayer, and what it means to keep trusting God when your circumstances remain painfully unresolved. Drawing from her own experiences with childhood trauma, complicated pregnancies, chronic illness, financial strain, and seasons when God felt silent, Susie shares how she began moving from simply knowing she was saved to actually learning to live as someone deeply loved by God. In this episode, you’ll learn: How trauma and disappointment can affect your ability to trust God The difference between knowing intellectually that God loves you and learning to live loved Why trusting God isn’t a formula for getting the outcome you want What Susie means by “contending” for what is true without slipping into striving The difference between expectation and expectancy Why trust can sometimes mean fighting for something and other times mean releasing control How fear and strong emotions can reveal beliefs beneath the surface Why you don’t have to wait until everything is resolved to begin living with purpose A simple practice for intentionally receiving and reflecting on God’s love The invitation isn’t to figure out how to make God give you the ending you hoped for. It’s to become more deeply rooted in His love while the story is still being written. Ready Susie Larson’s book More Than You Can Imagine: What God Does When You Trust Him Listen to Susie Larson Live More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AquaTru - Shower Head - Unlock your hair & skin’s true potential with 20% Off AquaTru Shower by using promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional) at AquaTru.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual wounding shows up in so many different ways, and it affects so many men and women.  Maybe something happened that felt off, invasive, confusing, or inappropriate, but you told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe you’ve never used the words sexual abuse or sexual violation because what happened didn’t fit the picture you had in mind. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by trauma expert and bestselling author Dr. Dan Allender for a compassionate conversation about sexual abuse, sexual wounding, shame, trust, and the road toward healing. Dan explains why abuse is not only about a single event, but about how that event becomes woven into the larger fabric of a person’s story. They explore why so many people minimize what happened, how involuntary body responses can create profound shame, and why these wounds often surface years later in our ability to trust, receive love, hope, and connect intimately with others. You’ll learn: What sexual abuse and sexual wounding can look like beyond the narrowest definitions Why shame can linger long after an experience is over How abuse affects trust, hope, intimacy, and your relationships What parents can do when a child shares that something uncomfortable or violating happened How to approach your story with honesty, compassion, and dignity Sometimes the first step is simply being willing to say: Something happened that wasn’t okay. And I want to understand how it has shaped me. To find out more about The Allender Center workshops visit theallendercenter.org/workshops or email the Allender Center team directly at [email protected] Read Dr. Dan Allender’s  books: Healing the Wounded Heart The Deep-Rooted Marriage More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked into a room and almost automatically started adjusting yourself? Maybe you hold back what you really think. You soften your opinions. You make yourself more agreeable. Not because you’re trying to be dishonest, but because some part of you wants to belong. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by behavioral scientist and Columbia University professor Dr. Patricia Hewlin to explore the tension between authenticity and belonging. Dr. Hewlin’s research on what she calls facades of conformity shows that continually suppressing your values and perspectives in order to fit in can lead to emotional exhaustion and disconnection. But the answer isn’t to swing to the other extreme and insist on expressing every part of yourself in every room. We were made for community.  And we were also made to become fully ourselves. The goal isn’t to choose one over the other. It’s learning how to love other people without losing yourself in the process. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the desire to belong is a healthy human need How to tell the difference between wise compromise and self-abandonment Why staying quiet isn’t always people-pleasing How your core values can guide what you share, when you speak up, and when you flex Why “bringing your whole self” doesn’t mean bringing every part of yourself everywhere How to navigate relationships or workplaces where being fully yourself may come with a real cost What Dr. Hewlin calls the middle self: authenticity with discernment and accountability Why true authenticity is inherently relational Read Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live With Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind. More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 55% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You love the kids you've been called to care for. You’re grateful most of the time. But sometimes your hidden feelings are still, well.... complicated. You may feel frustrated by how much is asked of you, lonely in the load you’re carrying, jealous of other moms who seem to have it easier, or ashamed that motherhood doesn’t always feel the way you thought it would. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by longtime friends, ministry leaders, and authors of the new book Moms on the Way, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick for an honest conversation about the complicated emotions moms are often afraid to admit out loud. Drawing from their research with more than 700 women, they explore why shame and resentment thrive in isolation—and what can happen when we finally bring those feelings into the light. You’ll learn: *Why motherhood can become fertile ground for comparison and shame *What resentment is really telling you *How to discern between something that is simply hard and something that genuinely needs to change *How hidden shame and resentment can isolate you from yourself, others, and God *What to do when these hidden emotions creep in More Resources: Connect with Kathy and Tara here. Get Moms on the Way: Following Jesus Through the Challenges of Motherhood here. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: James 3:13–18 How do you know whether the voice guiding you is actually wisdom—or fear dressed up as certainty, responsibility, or discernment? James gives us a very different way to recognize wisdom: not by confidence, volume, or influence, but by the kind of fruit it produces. You’ll learn: *Why certainty and confidence can sometimes masquerade as wisdom*How fear can hide underneath control, harshness, or over-responsibility*The qualities James says actually reveal genuine wisdom*Why quiet faithfulness may be more powerful than visible influence*One way to discern the fruit your choices and relationships are producing Go Deeper: The Best of You Every Day is taking a short break after this week while the Thursday deep-dive episodes continue. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if some of the qualities you’ve learned to call “strength” are clues to a wound underneath? You may be responsible, independent, productive, and good at taking care of everyone else. But when those patterns become extreme, they can sometimes point to wounds you’ve learned to carry alone. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and author Sheila Wise Rowe for a conversation about the less obvious ways trauma can shape our lives. Together, they explore how people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-sufficiency, minimizing pain, and avoiding conflict can become protective responses—and why healing begins by getting curious about what those patterns are trying to tell us. You’ll learn: *How trauma can show up in ways we may not immediately recognize *Why people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-sufficiency can become protective patterns *How family and community wounds can shape us across generations *Why minimizing your pain can keep you disconnected from what needs care *The role of lament in bringing your real emotions before God *Why healing rarely happens alone *How small steps, safe people, and God’s presence can help create lasting change Healing doesn’t require you to minimize what happened or convince yourself that someone else had it worse. It begins with noticing what is true, allowing God into the places that hurt, and taking one small step toward connection. More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.” Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: Deuteronomy 30:11–14 What if the next faithful step isn’t as far away as it feels? When fear and uncertainty take over, we can turn discernment into an exhausting search for perfect clarity. But Scripture offers a more grounded way forward: God’s wisdom is often nearer than we think. You’ll learn: *Why anxiety can make a simple decision feel impossible*How the search for certainty can keep you stuck*Why discomfort doesn’t always mean you’re on the wrong path*How to recognize the wisdom God has already placed within reach*What it looks like to take one faithful step without having the whole map Go Deeper: Pick up The Secure Soul and its companion guide for a deeper journey into the patterns, stories, and practices that shape a more secure life with God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:23-24 (Listener Request)What happens when you genuinely try to make things right—and the other person refuses to participate? Jesus takes reconciliation seriously, but that doesn’t mean you can force another person to acknowledge harm, tell the truth, or repair what has been broken. You’ll learn: *What Jesus’ command to “go and be reconciled” actually asks of you*The crucial difference between making a repair attempt and achieving mutual repair*Why reconciliation cannot be created by one person alone*How the pressure to “make peace” can sometimes protect denial or dysfunction*When faithfulness may mean grieving, setting a boundary, and stopping your pursuit of repair Go Deeper: Episode 216: Forgiveness Without Self-Abandonment: How to Forgive Without Ignoring the Harm with Amy Orr-EwingEpisode 217: What to Do When You’re the Only One Trying: Leslie Vernick on Emotionally Destructive Relationships Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: Proverbs 25:11–15 What do you do when you need to say something hard—but you don’t want to become harsh in the process? Proverbs gives us a surprising picture of strength: words that are clear and truthful, yet governed by patience, wisdom, and love. You’ll learn: *Why speaking gently doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations*How to tell the difference between assertiveness, aggression, and silence*Why overexplaining can become an attempt to control someone’s response*What trustworthy words sound like when something difficult needs to be said*One question to help you speak with less force without sacrificing truth Go Deeper: After this week, The Best of You Every Day will take a short break for rest and reset, while the Thursday deep-dive episodes continue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Peter 4:8–11 (Listener Request) What does Scripture really mean when it says that “love covers over a multitude of sins”? Deep love protects dignity and makes room for mercy—but it also tells the truth, creates boundaries, and seeks genuine repair. You'll learn: *The crucial difference between covering and covering up *Why biblical love never requires you to hide ongoing harm *How fear of conflict can disguise itself as “keeping the peace” *Why forgiveness and repair are not the same thing *How to hold truth, boundaries, dignity, and mercy together Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who might need to hear it. Today is the last day to get all the preorder bonus items when you order your copy of The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if being secure doesn’t mean you never second-guess yourself? If you replay conversations, second-guess yourself, worry about how you came across, or compare yourself to other people, you may assume security is something other people naturally have—and you somehow missed. But real security isn’t the absence of insecurity. It’s knowing where to return when insecurity shows up. In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison shares her own lifelong struggle with insecurity, self-doubt, and the fear of not being enough—and why writing The Secure Soul changed the way she understands security altogether. You’ll learn: *Why insecurity can linger even as you become stronger and healthier *The hidden reason self-doubt can feel so convincing *How old experiences can shape the stories you still tell about yourself *How to become a safe person for your own soul *A simple practice for recognizing God’s presence in the places where you still feel afraid, ashamed, or unsure A secure soul isn’t one that never feels insecure. It’s one that has somewhere to return to when the insecurity comes. More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You” and over $350 worth of bonuses. Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Jeremiah 29:4–7 What do you do when your life looks nothing like the one you imagined? Today's scripture is a surprising invitation to stop postponing your life until everything changes, without pretending that what happened was good or that your grief doesn’t matter. You'll learn: *Why acceptance is different from approval or giving up *How fighting reality can keep your nervous system perpetually braced *The difference between resistance, giving up, and grounded agency *Why investing in the present doesn’t mean abandoning hope for the future *How to identify one “garden” you can begin tending right where you are Go Deeper: Read The Secure Soul to learn how to stay rooted in God’s love when life feels uncertain, painful, or different from what you hoped. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 2:1–12 Sometimes you can pray, hope, and keep moving forward. And sometimes you simply can’t carry it all by yourself. Today's Scripture is powerful picture of what healing can look like in community—and a reminder that needing someone else to hold hope with you is not a failure of faith. You'll learn: *The loneliness of self-sufficiency *What the friends in Mark 2 teach us about shared faith *Why healing is often an interdependent rather than solitary process *How to distinguish sacred support from unsafe vulnerability *What it means to let someone carry a corner of your mat without asking them to fix you Go Deeper: Share this episode with a friend, and check The Secure Soul and the Companion Guide—out today! Order here and get the full Soul Tending Video Resource library Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Proverbs 18:10 When fear rises, where do you run? We often reach instinctively for overthinking, control, numbing, busyness, or escape. But Scripture gives us another image. Today, we’ll explore what it means to run to the name of the Lord—not as a spiritual formula or magic phrase, but as a return to the character and presence of a God who is strong enough to hold what scares us. You'll learn: *Why fear often sends us toward overthinking, control, or escape *What Scripture actually means by “the name of the Lord” *Why saying “in Jesus’ name” isn’t an incantation *How God can become a secure base when safety has felt complicated *How to recognize your old shelters and return to refuge instead of shame Go Deeper: For more on returning to God as a source of safety, check out The Secure Soul⁠—it will be in your hands tomorrow, and you'll still get all the bonus items when you order this week. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 2:14–18 Sometimes fear doesn’t feel like fear. It looks like staying ahead, planning for every possibility, holding people tightly, or never quite letting yourself rest. Hebrews 2 names a deeper fear beneath much of our striving: the fear of loss and death. Today, we’ll explore how that fear quietly shapes our lives—and why Jesus frees us to loosen our grip and live more fully. *How fear of loss can disguise itself as responsibility or control *Why avoiding what we fear can actually give it more power *The “smaller deaths” we brace against in everyday life *What Jesus’ death and resurrection mean for the things we fear losing *How to loosen your grip without pretending you’re not afraid Go Deeper: For more on your Inner Controller check out The Secure Soul Episode 41: Boundaries with Fear and Anxiety Episode 167: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the way you pray has more to do with your attachment patterns than you realize? In this episode, Dr. Alison shares how her own prayer life changed as she became more securely attached—and the surprising shift that she didn’t understand at first. We’ll look at what attachment theory can teach us about the way we experience closeness, why deeply feeling or anxiously attached parts of us may equate intensity with love, and how healing can lead to a steadier, more integrated way of relating—with other people and with God. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why intensity can feel like closeness—even when it isn’t security What attachment research reveals about why some relationships feel so consuming The subtle shifts that happen as your attachment system begins to heal What securely attached people do differently in close relationships A simple practice for building greater trust from the inside out More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.” Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Isaiah 42:1–4 Sometimes you’re not falling apart—you’re simply bruised. You’re still functioning and showing up, but certain places inside feel tender, weary, or easily overwhelmed. Today, we’ll explore what it means to receive God’s gentleness in the places where you’re hurting. *Why being tender doesn’t mean you’re weak*How hurt can cause us to guard or criticize vulnerable parts of ourselves*What the bruised reed reveals about the character of Jesus*Why God’s strength and gentleness belong together*One way to treat your own soul with greater tenderness today Go Deeper: If you’re learning how to meet yourself with more compassion, explore the Soul Tending video library at TheSecureSoulBook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 9:9-13 Shame tells you to hide the parts of yourself that feel messy, reactive, needy, or disappointing. But Jesus does the opposite of what we often expect: He moves toward Matthew before Matthew has cleaned up his life. Today, we’ll look at what this story reveals about the heart of God and why the places you most want to hide may be the very places where mercy wants to meet you. *Why Jesus didn’t wait for Matthew to become respectable *How shame teaches us to hide the parts of ourselves that need care *Why God’s holiness moves toward human need rather than away from it *The difference between mercy and spiritually proving yourself *How to let Jesus meet you in a place you don’t feel proud of Go Deeper: Check out our Soul Tending Video Resource library all about tending the wounds within—it's free when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 30:1–5 Sometimes the hardest part of a painful season isn’t simply surviving it—it’s discovering that joy still feels far away even after the worst has passed. In Psalm 30, David makes room for both realities: the night is real, and it doesn’t get the final word. Today, we’ll explore why joy can feel risky after grief or disappointment and how to begin receiving goodness again without denying what still hurts. You'll learn: *Why Psalm 30 doesn’t minimize grief or rush you toward happiness *Why prolonged hardship can make joy harder to receive *How joy and grief can exist together *Why some parts of you may feel safer expecting disappointment *A gentle practice for noticing one small sign of “morning” today Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that sorrow is real, but it isn’t the end of the story. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:14–26 What do you do when you feel like you don’t belong — or when you’ve learned to protect yourself by pretending you don’t need anyone? Today’s Scripture gives us Paul’s picture of the body, where every part matters and no part can say, “I don’t belong” or “I don’t need you.” This episode helps you recognize the strategies you use around belonging, stop measuring your worth by comparison, and practice showing up in the body as someone who is already needed and loved. You’ll learn: *Why feeling like you don’t belong does not make it true *How exclusion can register in the body like real pain *Why some of us try to earn belonging while others avoid it *How community helps regulate what we were never meant to carry alone *One small way to let someone else show up for you today Go Deeper: Pick up The Secure Soul and the Companion Guide to go deeper into repairing old attachment wounds and returning to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when the faith that once held you no longer feels like it can carry the questions you’re asking now? You may still love God. You don’t want to leave your faith behind. But the beliefs, practices, or ways of relating to God that once sustained you begin to feel too small for the life you’re living. In this week’s conversation, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author, psychotherapist, and spiritual director Ian Morgan Cron to explore the tender space between silencing your questions and burning everything down. Through Ian’s brand-new novel Chasing Francis, they discuss how a crisis of faith can become an invitation to spiritual growth, deeper intimacy with God, and a faith that is more fully your own. Why a crisis of faith can become an opportunity for deeper spiritual growth The difference between healthy questioning and becoming trapped in cynicism What spiritual individuation looks like and why it matters Why the faith that sustained an earlier version of you may need room to grow How to return to the foundation that God is love and you are loved Why resisting a difficult spiritual season can create even more suffering How beauty, imagination, story, and nature can restore perspective What St. Francis can teach us about simplicity, compassion, and an embodied faith Your questions do not necessarily mean that you are losing your faith. They may be an invitation to examine what you inherited, hold on to what is true, and allow God to build something deeper. As Ian reminds us, sometimes the work is not forcing yourself back into a previous expression of faith. It is asking: What is the invitation here? You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ You’ll explore:More Resources: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Samuel 9:1–8What do you do when shame tells you that you are too damaged, too much, or too far behind to belong? Today’s Scripture tells the story of a wounded man who is hiding, and King David’s kindness that brings him back to the table. This episode helps you recognize the hiding place inside your soul, receive kindness without self-evisceration, and begin to trust that belonging can meet you wounds and all. You’ll learn:*Why shame drives us into hiding and withdrawal*How belonging can feel threatening when your history with power has been painful*Why kindness often has to be received repeatedly over time*How wounded younger parts of us learn to stay hidden*What it means to believe the seat at the table is actually yours Go Deeper: Listen to the daily episode on Mark 5: When Your Pain Becomes Your Identity: How Jesus Gives You a New Name Episode 160: When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 11:9–13 What do you do when you believe God is good, but your body still braces when it’s time to ask him for help? Today’s Scripture speaks to the history beneath our prayers — the early experiences that taught us whether asking was safe, ignored, punished, or met with care. This episode helps you notice the inner flinch, honor the part of you that stopped asking, and begin rebuilding trust with God one small request at a time. You’ll learn: *Why asking God for help can feel risky *How early attachment wounds shape what you expect from God *Why what you believe and what you feel can be different systems *How to notice the inner flinch without shaming it *One small way to practice asking God for something real Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul to learn how your earliest attachments shape what you expect from God — and how to begin repairing those patterns. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 107:4–9 What do you do when your soul feels empty, disoriented, or far from anything that feels like home? Today’s Scripture gives language for the part of us that is hungry, thirsty, wandering, and running on empty. This episode helps you stop shaming your depletion, recognize hunger as a signal, and cry out to the God who meets us with direction, belonging, and good things. You’ll learn: *Why emptiness and disorientation are not failures *How Scripture names the soul’s hunger without shame *Why depletion can make life feel flat or colorless *How crying out can become an attachment move *One honest need you can bring to God and someone safe Go Deeper: Listen to the daily episode on Psalm 37, and pre-order The Secure Soul to learn how to repair inner attachment wounds with God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Peter 1:3–8 What do you do when even spiritual growth starts to feel like another standard you’re failing to meet? Today’s Scripture reminds us that growth begins not with deficiency, but with what God has already given. This episode helps you notice when healing turns into hustle, receive growth as participation with grace, and remember that the goal is not flawless self-mastery, but love. You’ll learn: *Why spiritual growth can become another form of pressure *How to tell the difference between effort rooted in fear and effort rooted in love *Why growth happens in“increasing measure” *How healing can become hustle when it’s driven by proving yourself *One way to notice the fruit already growing in you Go Deeper: This weekend, pause and name one area where you can already see the fruit of growth. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rejection has a way of feeling bigger than the moment itself. A missed invitation. An unanswered text. A friendship that seems to be slipping away. An opportunity that goes to someone else. Even when we can understand why it happened, something inside us can begin telling a much older story: I'm not enough. I don't belong. This always happens to me. In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Alison shares a recent experience with rejection and explores why present-day disappointments often awaken wounds from the past. Drawing from Psalm 27, attachment psychology, and the healing practice she calls Recognize and Return, she offers a compassionate framework for tending the sting of rejection without letting it define your worth. You'll learn: Why rejection often activates emotional memories far older than the present moment How to recognize when today's hurt has become an old inner narrative Why logic alone can't heal wounded places inside us How self-compassion helps right-size present disappointments The difference between extending grace to others and abandoning yourself A practical practice for moving through rejection with God's loving presence Rejection may still hurt. But it doesn't have to become the story you tell about yourself. Healing begins when today's pain is allowed to be today's pain—instead of carrying every hurt you've ever known. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 201: “This Must Be My Fault”—Why We Take Rejection So Personally 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices