I know- sometimes it feels impossible to feel delight toward your child. I get it! 

BUT! If you can find even micro-moments of delight, it can be very powerful for both you and your child. 

In this episode, you'll learn:

How is delight related to secure attachmentThe science behind why it?s sometimes very hard to find delight in kids with vulnerable nervous systems How to intentionally look for and pause in moments of delightWhy delight doesn?t just help your child, but your nervous system too

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Titrating Connection- Oppositional Series Part 4 {EP 159}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/delight

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

When your child?s behavior leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, or even hopeless, staying curious might be the last thing on your mind. 

But curiosity is actually SO COOL! It?s both a parenting strategy AND a nervous system state. 

In this episode, we?ll explore how to access curiosity, even when behavior makes no sense, and how that curiosity helps us find the path forward.

In this episode, you?ll learn:

Why curiosity is a sign your owl brain is online, and how to use curiosity to invite your owl brain back when it?s notA powerful question to shift your lens from ?what?s wrong?? to ?what?s needed??How baffling behavior can reveal clues about what regulation, safety, or connection your child is missing?

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Not flipping your lid...when your kid flips theirs {EP 10}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/staycurious

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk?well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn?t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least. 

In this episode, I explore why behavior change does matter, but why it?s not the first goal, especially for kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

HEADS UP! I?m not necessarily asking YOU- the one facing these out of control behaviors- to change your goal of behavior change. But?what if the people who are helping you could stay focused on that truth?!

In this episode, you?ll learn:

Why all behavior makes sense?even the baffling kindWhat happens when we shift from changing behavior to addressing the nervous systemHow holding two truths at once helps you feel more regulated, even in hard moments

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior - Webinar and eBook

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorChange

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Have you ever freaked out at your child and then later thought, ?Where did that come from?? Yup, that?s being triggered!

In this episode, we?ll unpack the neuroscience behind why we get triggered, what memory processing has to do with it, and how to find your way back to presence and connection.

In this episode, you?ll learn:

The anatomy of a triggerWhat?s actually happening in your brain when the past takes over the presentWhat to do next- how to help your owl brain come back and parent in the here-and-now

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}Trauma, Memory & Behavior: Part 1 {EP 90}Trauma, Memory, Behavior video series 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/trigger

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Why do kids sometimes - or a lot of the time! - suddenly act much younger?or sneakier?! In this episode, we use Dr. Bruce Perry?s concept of state-dependent functioning to reframe some of the baffling behaviors as signs of stress, not signs of defiance.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic, join us over in The Club. In June 2025, we?re having a masterclass all about behaviors and state dependent functioning- complete with a brand-new illustrated resource. If you?re hearing this episode in the future, the masterclass is stored in our on-demand video library and can still be accessed!

In this episode, you?ll learn:

Why regression and baby talk are symptoms of a nervous system in distress How lying and stealing are driven by survival statesWhat it means when your child?s sense of time collapses and they can?t think about future consequences

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

All Behavior Makes Sense DownloadThe Club!

Read the full transcript at:  RobynGobbel.com/babytalk

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Could you use a short refresher about what I mean when I say your child?s "owl brain flew away"? Or do yoRu know someone who is willing to listen to a short explanation of how you?re approaching your child?s baffling behaviors?

In this episode, I revisit - briefly- what behavior really is and the owl, watchdog, and possum brain metaphor. I explain why it's such a helpful way to understand your child's baffling behaviors. I also talk about what actually helps those protective brains calm down so the owl can return.

In this episode, you?ll learn:

What the owl, watchdog, and possum brains really represent in your child?s behavior.How to recognize which brain state is in charge.Why our goal isn?t to fix the behavior but to offer regulation, connection, and safety.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}Webinar and eBook - Focus on the Nervous SystemSTART HERE podcastRaising Kids with Big, Baffling BehaviorsAll Behavior Makes Sense infographicOwl, Watchdog, Possum fridge sheet packet

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/brainbasedunderstanding

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If you?ve clicked on this episode because you?re feeling like you're failing?at parenting, at keeping it together, at helping your child?I'm really glad you?re here.

Because first, I want you to know this: you?re not failing. You?re doing something incredibly hard. Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system, whether your child has been impacted by trauma, or has sensory differences, or just has a brain wired a little differently, is extremely intensive parenting. 

I created this episode so you can:

Easily return to it when you need a ?mini pep talk?Listen in a short period of time- I know I?m usually a little long-windedBe reminded as often as you need: this isn?t your fault. You?re not failing

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

All Behavior Makes Sense infographicEpisodes to listen to if you are in burnout

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/peptalk

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If your kid refuses therapy, what other options are there?

Or maybe they don?t refuse therapy, but you?d still like to increase the therapeutic support for your child and family.

Here are 20 different non-therapy therapeutic supports based on Dr. Perry?s work of ?moments of healing? and experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, and somatosensory

Over on my website, you can download a handout that lists them all out (and was generated with the help of AI) so you don?t have to take notes!

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Moments of Healing PodcastHow the Brainstem Heals {EP 49}Equine-Assisted Trauma-Informed Psychotherapy {EP 51}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/therapeuticinterventions

Follow Me On:

Facebook

Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Have you ever wondered what types of questions you should ask a new therapist to assess how well they understand behaviors through the lens of the nervous system?

No need to take notes during this episode, I created downloadable handouts you can access with just one click. Listen to the episode then head over to my website!

PLEASE NOTE. These are suggestions. Please vet your professionals thoroughly. I?m certain there are many important questions left off of this list. I?m also certain there are many excellent trainings that I did not include in the list of potential trainings. Also, even if a therapist meets all the criteria, that doesn?t mean they are the right therapist for your family. Even someone trained with me isn?t necessarily the therapist or professional that is right for you. 

In this episode, you?ll learn

Questions you can ask a therapist to get a feel for how well they conceptualize behaviors through the lens of the nervous systemRed flags to pay attention toTrainings on a therapist?s resume that suggest they conceptualize behavior through the lens of ?all behavior makes sense.?

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Questions to Ask a Potential New Therapist. Download by CLICKING HERETrainings a therapist may have that suggest they conceptualize behavior through the lens of the nervous system. Download by CLICKING HEREWhen Your Child Doesn't Participate In Therapy {EP 86} (also has an infographic many therapists use to describe therapy to parents)

Read the full transcript at:

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Kids with vulnerable nervous systems need more co-regulation than other kids their age and yes it?s exhausting.

Did you know it?s possible to be GOOD exhausted and not just BAD exhausted?!?! 

It?s you?re chronically exhausted, you?re probably not doing as much co-regulation as you are masking how dysregulated you are.

And hey- no judgment here! This is very explicitly a no-judgment episode. I don?t want you to feel bad or even try to do anything different.

In this episode, you?ll learn

The difference between co-regulating and maskingHow doing something really hard (like co-regulating a child with a vulnerable nervous system day in and day out) means that YOU need more connection and co-regulation, too!That you don?t need to try to do anything different right now, it?s too much work to do anything different. In this episode, I?ll just ask you to notice- without judgment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Stress Response System {EP 94}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/coregulatingormasking

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Have you ever wondered how those behaviors that feel 'on purpose' fit into this nervous system approach?

They feel so intentional! Like there is so much Owl-brain thought involved.

But they certainly aren't behaviors of connection!!!

This episode will:

Demystify 'on purpose' behaviorsRemind you to always consider regulation, connection, and felt safety...then strategize how to respond to those 'on purpose' behaviors accordingly

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Monitoring and modifying are the two essential elements of regulation. ~ Dr. Dan Siegel

When we really understand what makes up the skill of self-regulation, we can be more intentional about helping our kids develop those skills.

We can also be more understanding and compassionate when they aren't able to use those skills!

This episode explores the skills of monitoring (noticing) and modifying (changing) our level of arousal and activation as the main ingredients of self-regulation.

Remember that self-regulation can only develop with enough co-regulation. But once there is a strong foundation of co-regulation, we can encourage our kids to develop the skills to notice and change (when appropriate or needed!) their level of arousal. 

In this episode, you?ll learn

The main ingredients of self-regulation- monitor & modifyHow to scaffold up to teaching kids to monitor and modifyHow to have appropriate expectations about your child?s ability to monitor and modify, even after they have learned the skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

The Whole-Brain Child - Dr. Dan SiegalNo-Drama Discipline - Dr. Dan Siegal

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ingredient

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Medical trauma can feel confusing because in many circumstances, we are seeking out the very medical interventions that our kids experience as traumatic. 

Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Some kids experience trauma due to their time in the NICU. Some kids experience trauma at the dentist. Some kids experience trauma due to an emergency or accident. 

Much of the time, parents feel helpless or even guilty for ?causing? the trauma. 

In this episode, you?ll learn

How medical treatment can have a traumatic impactHow to help kids make sense of confusing medical treatmentA couple of ideas for how to help kids prepare for medical treatment

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/medicaltrauma

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Resentment. We?ve all felt it.

Very little about this parenting journey has gone according to plan.

We?ve done the hard work- the never-ending work actually - of rewiring everything we thought we knew about behavior, what it means to be human, how to parent, and how to have a family.

Some days we do it without a second thought.

Some days are full of resentment and anger.

You aren?t a bad person. But resentment feels bad! 

In this episode, you?ll learn

The very important job that resentment does for youA message that resentment might be trying to tell youThe importance of staying curious - and not shaming - about the feeling of resentment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

When Parenting is Traumatic {EP 95}Grief in Parenting Kids with Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/resentment

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

One of the harder things to navigate when shifting to a nervous system lens on behavior is the feeling that a lot of the strategies seem like they are rewarding bad behavior.

Strategies that invite regulation, connection, and felt safety are usually strategies that feel good.

If our kids feel good after bad behavior, will they have MORE bad behavior??

In this episode, you?ll learn

What it might be signaling if you?re wondering if you?re rewarding bad behaviorHow to avoid unintentionally increasing the likelihood of dysregulation in the futureWhy it?s reallllllly important to offer connection, co-regulation and felt safety strategies when you are in connection mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}Is It Time to Raise the Bar? {EP 207}Amanda Diekman - @lowdemandamanda

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/rewardbadbehavior

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

We talk a lot about hard very too hard for your kids (thanks Amanda Diekman for that hard vs. too hard language!).

But have you considered applying that concept to yourself? 

This is intensive parenting! Far beyond when parenting is supposed to get less intensive, you?re still giving super-hero level scaffolding, supervision and co-regulation - and it?s a LOT!

In this episode, you?ll learn

How to assess for when it?s just TOO hard- for YOU!The importance of making an owl-brain decision about things being too hard (or not)Ways to increase support at the same time as you lower demands for yourself 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Enabling vs. Low-Demand podcastAmanda Diekman - Low Demand Parenting on Instagram

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toohard

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This BONUS episode is the audio from my FREE webinar, Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior.

This webinar aired lived on 02/04/2025. 

You can watch the video webinar for free over at https://RobynGobbel.com/webinar

You can also download the free, accompanying resources, including: eBook, fridge sheets about the Owl, Watchdog, and Possum, all the slides as handouts, and some additional accompanying infographics. 

:::

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

It?s very common to feel like our kids are either intentionally sabotaging good things or that they are purposefully setting us up to be mad or disappointed or to have to say no. 

You aren?t imagining this phenomenon!

All humans do it, but our kids with vulnerable nervous system and big, baffling behaviors may seem like they do it more often.

In this episode, you?ll learn

The neuroscience behind WHY our kids sabotage situations or set us up to be dysregulatedWhat they are really doing (and it?s actually full of hope)How we might respond differently that could actually change their brain

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Rupture Repair podcast episodeMatch the Energy not the Dysregulation podcast episodeRegulated, not Calm podcast episodeBrilliant of Attachment podcast series & eBook,which goes deeper into the concept of hope vs. expectation

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/setup

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

It took me a looooooong time to really truly believe and understand that- no one is coming to save me.

I had to do the hard work to take responsibility for my own triggers, my own nervous system, my own change. This only happened after oodles and oodles of safety, connection, and co-regulation.

Maybe you, like me, have held onto the hope that someone else will fix this. Your child will change, you?ll get the services you need, something will happen and everything will get better. 

Maybe this journey through some of the intimate moments of my own healing journey can assist you on your?s.

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/saveus

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Rose LaPiere LPC, RPT-S, and ACS invites into a space of safety and connection so we can make room for grief. Rose brings her own experiences of grief to her work as a play therapist (and co-leader in Robyn?s immersive training program for parenting professionals, Being With) so she can bravely welcome in, and be with, her client?s big, at times overwhelming, feelings. 

In this episode, you?ll learn

The importance of authenticity, naming, and acknowledge even really really hard feelingsThe role of playfulness is processing griefThe importance of self-compassion for the grown-ups and therapists supporting kids and families in their grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Rose's Website! - RoseLaPiere.com

Read the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/griefinfamilies/

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You?ve lowered stress and demands. You?ve reframed your child?s behavior as a response from their autonomic nervous system. You?ve worked hard to help your child?s stress response system rest and begin to heal

Now what?

In this episode, you?ll learn

How rest is only one part of the healing processThe importance of reintroducing stressThe difference between stress that prompts growth and stress that leads to injury and burn-out

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Stress Response System {EP 94}Scaffolding Felt Safety {EP 205}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/RaiseTheBar

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Jon Fogel is a dad who combined his passion for parenting, neuroscience, and impacting the world to create a viral social media account (@wholeparent) and then to publish his book, Punishment-Free Parenting. 

Jon and I get lost in some pretty deep topics together, including 

How he helps parents make huge parenting shiftsHow parenting with punishment relies on a pretty pessimistic view of humanityBoundaries vs. Consequences vs. Punishments

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Punishment Free Parenting by Jon FogelJon?s Instagram: Whole Parent

Dive into these topics further on past Baffling Behavior Show episodes

Boundaries Series (ep. 111, 113, & 115)Ep. 56: But what about a consequenceEp. 134 What if Trauma Informed Isn?t? Ep. 54: Has Trauma Informed Become another Behavior Modification Technique?Ep. 30: Trauma Behavior? Or just acting up?

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/punishmentfree

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

How do we help kids feel safe when they are safe? How do we help them take in the safety that exists in their life when their life experiences seem to have convinced them that nothing is safe. 

Scaffolding. Yes, we can scaffold felt safety.

My recovery from a very serious back injury left me pondering the importance of felt safety in taking risks and the necessity of scaffolding felt safety. 

In this episode, you?ll learn

The importance of relationship in felt safetyHow even felt safety must be scaffolded for folx who don?t have a lot of experience being safe in relationshipHow amazing it is that our hurt kids risk relationship at all, and how it makes sense that sometimes they won?t

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/scaffoldingfeltsafety

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Play makes kids stronger. It?s necessary for their physical and emotional development, and even their academic development. Play helps kids work through and make sense of hard things. 

A few months ago I went searching for a resource that teaches parents some of skills I used as a play therapist because I am passionate about breaking down barriers and teaching these skills to as many adults as possible- not just therapists. 

Tina Payne Bryson?s newest book (co-authored with Georgie Wisen-Vincent), The Way of Play, is exactly this resource. 

It was a delight to connect with Dr. Payne Bryson and get a sneak peek into her new book, The Way of Play.

In this episode, you?ll learn

Why play is so importantThe 7 Strategies in PlayStrong ParentingHow to Bring Emotions to LifeHow to Make Yourself a Mirror

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson?s websiteThe Way of Play new book- preorder by January 20The Way of Play PreOrder Bonus Virtual Event Registration 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/wayofplay

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated?

This episode isn?t an episode that is going to tell you what to do.

This is an episode of commiseration. Of ?I see you.?

It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you?re not alone can help.

In this episode, you?ll learn

How nervous systems match each otherHow we get our sense of safety from the state of each other?s nervous systemThe serve & return and rhythms of relationship, and what happens when that gets disrupted 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Self-Regulation Doesn?t Exist!!When Parenting Is Traumatic {EP 95}Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP 163}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/chronicallydysregulated

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Have you ever felt confused by your child?s silly behavior? It seems like they are having fun, but it doesn?t feel good at all?

In this episode, you?ll learn

How to tell the difference between fun-silly and dysregulated-sillyWhat?s going on in the brain and nervous system for a child who is dysregulated-sillyPractical ideas for how to support your child returning to regulation, connection, and felt safety

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

The Connected Therapist by Marti SmithJoin The Club! Watch Marti's Master Class! - robyngobbel.com/theclubMarti?s video podcast & lycra tutorials: https://martiot.podbean.com/What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/silliness

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You aren?t parenting wrong. It?s not your fault. Asking ?What am I doing wrong?? is the wrong question! Here?s what be curious about instead.

In this episode, you?ll learn:

That you?re not doing it wrong (well, not any more wrong than anyone else)A more helpful to question to ask ourselves when our kids are strugglingWhy having kids who are never dysregulated isn?t the goal

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook
Influence Behaviors, Not Control https://robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviors/

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/notdoingitwrong

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Robyn explores the grief in parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems 

In this episode, you?ll learn:

The relationship between trauma and griefWhy it's important to make space for grief in our kids and in ourselvesThe role of self-compassionHow a lack of media representation of your parenting journey causes grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grief

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas?  It's HARD.  Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!!  And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation.   Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in parenting is never ever ever required and sometimes, I flip my lid, too!)

In this episode, we will look at steps you can take- IN THE MOMENT- of a stressful parenting experience (assuming no one is in literal danger!) that will help you stay regulated (not calm!) so you can tackle the real problem.  The real problem is probably your child's regulation, connection, and/or felt-safety!

***********************
You can read a blog article that has all the steps written out here (sometimes it's easier to remember things in writing!): www.RobynGobbel.com/notflippingyourlid

If you are new to this model of brain-based parenting, you can watch my free 45 minute masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety here: www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.

In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!

In this episode, you?ll learn

How availability of connection is a cue of safety or dangerHow neuroception can tell the state of the other person?s nervous system (connection or protection?)Why nervous systems are contagiousHow ?between? cues of safety eventually become ?inside? cues of safetyHow you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}Amanda Diekman?s Book! - Low-Demand Parenting

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what?s happening in the environment.

In this episode, you?ll learn

Misconceptions about felt safetyExternal (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demandsWhat we do with this information

Free Multi-Page Infographic all about Felt Safety! CLICK HERE

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}Marti?s Book! - The Connected Therapist

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Let?s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation.

This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety.

What is felt safety, what isn?t felt safety, and why it matters!

Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world.

In this episode, you?ll learn

Misconceptions about felt safetyInternal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection modeWhat we do with this information

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Hey everyone, this is Alex, Robyn's son and podcast editor. To be 100% honest, we forgot to record a podcast for this week. Luckily, I have stepped in to fill the podcast void and to make my grand reveal!

In this episode, you?ll learn

What my voice sounds like!Why we didn't get a new episode out for y'all.

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grandreveal  

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

We think a lot about how to lower demands for our kids, but in this episode we?re going to talk about how we can lower demands for ourselves, specifically during the holiday season.

Regardless of where you live in the world and what holidays you do or don?t celebrate, it?s hard to avoid the extra stress that comes in December.

In this episode, you?ll learn

How to look at traditions or expectations and consider which ones to prioritizeHow to increase felt safety- for you and your kids- at holiday events, travel, or expectationsHow to set boundaries How to offer yourself compassion if setting boundaries feels really hard

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/lowdemandholidays

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Living with someone with a vulnerable nervous system almost certainly leaves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells.

It?s that sense of not knowing what?s going to happen next, having to tread lightly, and being constantly at risk of making a misstep that will trigger the other person. 

In today?s episode, we are going to break down the neurobiology of walking on eggshells and talk about what you can do to shift out of this pattern- even if you can?t change the other person?s behavior.

In this episode, you?ll learn

The neurobiology of that ?walking on eggshells? feelingHow to consider the possibility of feeling safe when you are safeThe impossible set-up our brain puts us in that leaves us stuck feeling like we are walking on eggshells- and what to do about it

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}Gratitude For Our Watchdog & Possums Parts {EP 200}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/eggshells

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In this special 200th episode, we?re exploring how to bring compassion, curiosity, and gratitude to our kids? (and our own) ?Watchdog? and ?Possum? parts as overworked companions trying their best to help us survive. With acceptance and understanding, we can help these parts rest and integrate, creating space for true change.

We also look at the unique challenges parents face, especially when dealing with intense behaviors, and how building compassion for these protective parts?not the behaviors themselves?can help us navigate parenting with more calm, empathy, and hope. 

Believe it or not- over time, this practice of seeing our inner worlds differently can transform not only our lives but the lives of our children and our communities.

Main Takeaways:

Recognize Protective Parts with Compassion: Our ?Watchdog? and ?Possum? parts, which are defensive instincts, need compassion and gratitude, not elimination. Understanding these parts as overworked rather than problematic can lead to healthier integration and self-acceptance.Parenting from Compassionate Curiosity: Challenging behaviors in children can often lead to frustration. By developing curiosity and compassion for our kids? protective parts, parents can respond with empathy and help these parts feel safe, which reduces the intensity of the behaviors over time.The Power of Community and Practice: Change takes time and commitment, and practicing compassion and gratitude?even in small amounts?can lead to significant transformations in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. The journey is gradual, but even small shifts create powerful results.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

EVERYONE Has A Watchdog and Possum Brain! {EP 178}All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/gratitude

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

The brain is the brain is the brain. All behaviors have their origin in the brain. But for some behaviors, it is easy to lose sight of this important truth.

Behaviors that would be easy to label as manipulative or controlling or selfish just feel so personal! But if we can remember that even relational skills are brain-based skills, we can reclaim our empathy, set boundaries, and offer the scaffolding or accommodations necessary to help our child be successful.

In this episode, you?ll learn

How to break down relational skills as brain-based skillsHow to scaffold or accommodate relational brain-based skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

NEW!!!! Brain-First Parenting Podcast! With Eileen Devine

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/relationalskills

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

In this episode you?ll learn:

That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connectionTo titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wantsShowing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn?t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

In this episode you?ll learn:

How connection and protection can get tied togetherHow to keep offering connection, even when it?s consistently rejected by your childThe science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don?t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let?s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.

In this episode you?ll learn:

An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationshipHow to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperationStrategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner worldStrategies for creating felt safety in the child's environmentStrategies for creating felt safety in the relationship

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Neuroimmune Disorders And Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}What To Do After We Mess Up {Ep 80}Parenting Superpower! X-ray Vision {Ep 13}Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}Neuroimmune Podcast Series!~ robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneseries

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.

In this episode you?ll learn:

That even oppositional behaviors make total senseSpending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the bodyChanging the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety isThe diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthereWhen Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection or Protection {Ep 7}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.

In this episode, you?ll learn

How all brains create realityThe brain?s most important jobThe most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

It?s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.

The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions

In this episode, you?ll learn

What The Club even is and why it?s different than other parenting communitiesWhat?s included in your Club membership (so much!)How easy it is to access and participate in The ClubHow easy it is to step away from The Club whenever you?re ready

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatsintheclub

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. 

You?re right back to feeling like everything?s awful or it?ll never get better or you?ll have to live like this forever. 

You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ?relax.?

All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally flares- which is what a vulnerable nervous system is.

In this episode, you?ll learn

The whiplash and why we feel itWhy our kids seem to attack outta no whereWhy these moments feel like everything is as worse as ever- but it probably isn?tWhy it?s GOOD we can finally rest, even if it does leave us feeling unprotected and whiplashed

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/whiplash

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?

In this episode, you?ll learn

What self-regulation REALLY isHow ?self? regulation developWhy you should still teach self-regulation skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!! (ep 43)

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/selfregulation

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

In this episode, you?ll learn

Practical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachersWhy regulation is foundational for learningWhere to find resources that support educators in creating a culture of compassion

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Light Up the Learning BrainSupporting Kids Who Struggle with Change www.BraveBrains.comFree Resources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/improvingconnections

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with ?controlling.? Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we?d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too.

Why?

In this episode, you?ll learn

Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behaviorHow controlling behavior is an attempt to find safety and connectionTips on how to offer co-regulation to a child who is attempting to control you

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Connection or Protection??? {EP 7}Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation {EP 82}Stress Response System {EP 94}Exploring Low-Demand Parenting: Shift Power Dynamics and Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/controlling

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- 

?Isn?t this (co-regulation) just coddling??

Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today?s episode.

Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!

In this episode, you?ll learn

The difference between co-regulation and coddlingWhy asking this question helps us understand some of our fearsWhat trust has to do with co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/coddling

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023

Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?

They tell you it?s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don?t talk?

I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).

This doesn?t mean it doesn?t work for your child. Promise.

In this episode you?ll learn:

The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brainHow we can use our kids? behavior as cues/clues to let us know something about their brain development and what interventions are appropriate (clinical reasoning)The role of distress toleranceSteps to take to scaffold your child in developing self-reflection and mindsight, as well as decrease shame around their behavior

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {Ep 114}Healing Blocked Care With Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls {Ep 123}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwatchdog

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

***

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023

I?ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I?m worried they?ll start using it as excuses.

I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like ?My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!?

In this episode, I:

Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuseRecommend resources for how to teach your child about their brain

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Additional Resources:

Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehavior
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinar
The START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthere

The Club is open for new members start Tuesday June 24 thru Friday June 27. Mark your calendar!

RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute?s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)