Can you believe this podcast is almost 6 years old? I?m grateful. On this episode I talk about exactly what the title says, how life be lifing! Trying to balance motherhood and show up for myself. Not always getting it right but staying committed to taking things one day at a time. It takes a real desire and commitment to make sure that you?re intentional about showing up for yourself and giving yourself grace when you don?t get it right. Happy self care Sunday !

www.mauithewriter.com

Happy New Year everyone. On this episode I touch on a few things that would be beneficial to work on in the new year. Locking in with yourself and tapping into discipline. Giving yourself grace and sticking with you boundaries. Being honest about how you really feel and not waiting until you can no longer take something to finally explode with your true emotions.

I have also included a free ebook for you to download for the new year.

FREE EBOOK

This episode is about growing apart and needing space. Not allowing your ego to get in the way of maintaining relationships or friendships that are meaningful to you. It?s really hard when you love someone or you want to make it work with them but it?s just not happening. If you can relate this episode is for you.

Tickets to my upcoming shows

Philly

https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/93060025/maui-the-writer-friends-philadelphia-music-hall-at-world-cafe-live

Brooklyn

https://www.mauithewriter.com/products/poetry-night-in-new-orleans

Baltimore

https://www.mauithewriter.com/products/baltimore-poetry-night

Substack Blog

https://substack.com/@mauithewriter/note/p-178263400?r=28g5tr&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

So many things have happened to me and here is an update of what?s been going on. Just some girl talk and of course some advice. Just reflecting on friendship and love; there is so much that I have learned from my journey . And I?m so grateful that, you all have been growing with me and watching all of this happen is real time.

Make sure you check out my website for my new book and show tickets.

https://www.mauithewriter.com/collections/all

On this episode I talk about a blog that I wrote on my Substack about what friendships have taught me in this season of my life of being on tour. How curiosity can give us the clarity that we need all by just asking our friends questions and not avoiding uncomfortable conversations. Clarity gives us space to be vulnerable and get closer. But your friends don?t deserve to be treated like they are disposable, when they haven?t betrayed you. Our friendships deserve the same grace, vulnerability and compassion we would give in a romantic relationship. Use the FRIENDS for a discount on my new book Still Unlearning

On this episode I talk about being in a situation with a person who provides the bare minimum to you spiritually but enjoys the benefits of your company and enjoying you sexually. Knowing and understanding that, people are doing what we allow them to do, because we are not properly communicating our standards or expectations. How do we get to a point that someone is coming over our houses all the time for sex but still has yet to plan a date with you? Or even worse, you are ubering or wasting gas to go over his house, where there is no flowers waiting for you, no meal prepared, just a bed that he made or may not have made, that he wants you to lay in with him. There is more to do, than just lay up with someone.

TICKETS FOR SHOWS AND BOOKS

On this episode I talk about how it pays for you to take things slow and really get to know someone. Dating for a week and then it turning into sex and then hanging out at your place or their place is not dating. That?s just laying up. I give my opinion on what I feel like dating should look like, how to be intentional with the questions you?re asking and how to not waste your time or have someone save you for later.

Use the link below to order my new book or get tickets for your city.

https://www.mauithewriter.com

On this episode I talk about so many different things. Settling, knowing your worth, being exhausted trying to make a relationship work and spreading yourself thin. This was a really good episode. I?m also going on tour and would love to see yall there here are some links for what I have going on!

Preorder my new book Still Unlearning

https://www.mauithewriter.com/products/pre-order-still-unlearning

Check out tour dates and tickets

https://www.mauithewriter.com

Happy muvas day to every woman, mother or not. Todays episode I honor a few different dynamics of mothers, sisters and daughters and what it means to be a mother. Today is also my first show of the year on Mothers day and in NY how ironic for it to be today of all days? I am so excited, you can still get tickets to join us using the link below. Enjoy.

https://citywinery.com/new-york-city/events/maui-the-writer-pfd9al

On this episode of who do you love I talk about nurturing other relationships outside of our romantic ones. I challenge you to prioritize the things that are important to you and that you enjoy doing with the same enthusiasm used to plan a date with your man. We neglect so many aspects of who we are to show up for other people, we stop spending time with friends and family or even self development things like working out or our hobbies. How can you incorporate both things in your life so neither has to be neglected ? Lets talk.

GET YOUR TICKETS FOR THE MOTHERS DAY SHOW IN NY HERE

https://citywinery.com/new-york-city/ticket-selection?eventId=maui-the-writer-pfd9al

This episode I talk about seeking validation from our friends and partners. Making our own decisions and being comfortable with the choices that we make. It is so easy to get caught up in how we think other people are viewing us or their perceptions of us. Making choices you are happy with unapologetically. I have a mother?s day poetry show coming up in New York and have also included the ticket link. The show is for everyone not just women. But the line up of poets will be women.

https://citywinery.com/new-york-city/ticket-selection?eventId=maui-the-writer-pfd9al

Are you entertaining transactional relationships by overextending yourself, people pleasing or associating your worth with being needed? Some people love of for what we do not who we are and what we can offer that benefits them . The quote goes ?judge a man by his patience when he has nothing and his attitude when he has everything? People tolerate more when they need someone it?s not until they are in the position where they feel they don?t need someone or can no longer benefit that they show their true colors .

The poem in the beginning is called

?you ain?t never loved nothing?.

This episode I talk about letting go, being uncomfortable, celebrating yourself and all that you have. I had a conversation yesterday where I mentioned this, but this has always been a theme in my life. Not celebrating myself or my journey just always focusing on what I need to do next or be better at. Look around, you so far from where you started. Honor that. Appreciate that. Thank God for it.

Use my code BDAY for up to 40% off my website.

www.mauithewriter.com

Today I talk about Ramadan and fasting. Fasting from social media and people. Starting a 30 day self care challenge. Prioritizing your time so you can take care of yourself and not make excuses for all the stuff you need to be doing. How would you feel if you realized the biggest distractions In your life were the people you are around? Are you not able to juggle it all, are you being a follower or are you just not prioritizing your time correctly?

Order your self love E-book here

https://www.mauithewriter.com/products/self-love-guide-ebbok

It?s been a while and I have missed all of you. I have still been going to therapy and now back to working on my psychology degree. Being a mom of 3 has been dragging me by the hair but I?m doing my best!

On this episode I touch on a few topics

Forgiveness

Being mindful of who you take advice from and tell your business to

Being mindful of when you are wasting your advice on people who are committed to their own narratives.

Building a relationship with God and fasting from things.

On this episode we talk about pacing yourself when dated to give yourself time to see exactly who someone is. It is no benefit to us to move fast when taking our time could not only lead to the same results but more than likely better results.

Pacing your love because not everyone deserves it and sometimes we have so much of it to give too much of our love to people who are only there to use us up.

Taking your time when your dating and getting to know someone and asking yourself what is being invested in this dating phase

Is it just quality time?

Conversation?

Romance?

Is it consideration and thoughtfulness

Is it being intentional ?

What have they communicated that they are looking for or what their intentions are when with dating?

On this episode we talk about a few things and one of those things are the reason behind why it is easier for some of us women to give more grace to the men in our lives who have betrayed us but not to the women in our lives who we have built friendships with? Granted I do understand that there are complex situations, but in the scenarios where a conversation could have been had why did that not happen?

Thinking about the relationships that you have with women in your life is there anything that reminds you of the relationship that you have with your mother or other women in your life ?

How did they make you feel? Do you miss them and if you do what do you miss? What would have been an ideal outcome of the situation ?

If you?re tuned into this episode know that I miss you and am so happy and grateful that you all have been patient with me. But as I said, write down a few things that you do without blaming someone. Because there is always going to be someone who mishandled you, but I want you to focus on the emotions that you felt instead and how it has shaped you.

Also when I say ?Why do you do the things you do without blaming other people? doesn?t mean that I?m not saying don?t hold people accountable or that they don?t deserve blame . I?m just saying for this specific thing I want you to do, I do not want you to involve those people.

Compassion, Not judging, creating and communicating real boundaries. These are a few points I talk about.

On this episode I talk about having the strength to leave a person that isn?t good for you | Giving yourself grace for not knowing better and the patience to do better. | I want people to write down a prayer for themselves that they can go back to, to remind them that they deserve better. Ask yourself why do I keep settling for this? Why do I keep going back? Why can I not be alone ? For tickets to shows and books use this link?> https://beacons.ai/maui_w

On this episode we talk about standing firm on our boundaries when it comes to how we allow people to treat us and show up for us. Not being afraid to express exactly what it is that we want. Holding people accountable but also holding ourselves accountable also. And treating self care like it is a necessity, which it is in order to take care of yourself. If you haven?t check out my books on my website www.mauithewriter.com Happy self care Sunday ! Potty training book : https://www.amazon.com/Potty-Training-Days-Step-Step/dp/1623157900/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?adgrpid=59711097007&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.XRcZeQKqZG0MkWPXIrSyEd8Q80VvsrBF0sQlWJWWOBiHZwLrYXYPFUBHcXCDCj-NOho9bL-EublvsGqgI6V0u6Cj37tsTB6P0ikLmSEf62SkRekKl-e4fK4F64wGVdh-u08vq-UH1YWoPpkw-54pkOO6lKcoCWO3FtSY5ltUINNXF7NtJFZk8PpPwJ_B0Db0UY4Hd5-YDVZ8GlWiPuVOvw.-979Uvj6Ssw82B9XLUf0tTcWqXpnMh0A3atSfyab4Sk&dib_tag=se&hvadid=664624588231&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9007243&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6790936644063456276&hvtargid=kwd-308594615488&hydadcr=28786_14754662&keywords=3+day+potty+training+method&qid=1717931899&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1

On this episode we have our special guest AJ McQueen. I ask him about growing up in St. Louis, mental health, relationships, his inner child, therapy and what does self care mean to him. The episode was really great and he dropped so many gems that people would be able to take away when it comes to how to show up for themselves, be confident and give themselves grace. Check out his music and tour dates below. My personal favorite song is Love Jones.

WATCH THE FULL VIDEO HERE https://youtu.be/zwQKyr7cl3U

TOUR TICKETS - AJTHEGREAT.COM/TOUR
APPLE MUSIC - https://music.apple.com/us/artist/aj-mcqueen/540889165
SPOTIFY - https://open.spotify.com/artist/5yQzq87Fu3ZTADxVWwWoj7?si=zXp1_iaeQHmvTHaw9b05-Q

On this episode we talk about what the people you have loved had in common and where they a REFLECTION OF YOU? What did certain people show you when it comes to your healing? What did you admire about them if anything? What are some things that your inner child really need as a child that you can supply them with right now to make them feel loved and safe ? You?re not on this journey alone, there are a million other people journeying just like you, don?t forget that. Here is the link to my LTK with all of my must haves and favorites, I will keep adding more books https://www.shopltk.com/explore/Maui_w and you can always ordering my books from my website www.mauithewriter.com

On this episode I talk about all of the things that I have been learning in therapy and utilizing in my daily life. Boundaries, communicating, validating emotions and getting my needs met by my partner. This season of my life has felt so transformative and I feel like I?m becoming a different person emotionally, so of course I wanted to share this with all of you. Let me know some of the things you have been working on in your life.

This episode is mainly my birthing story and how Hos does so many things in our lives that show us how grateful we should be.

This episode is all about love! With Valentine?s Day coming up I wanted to leave you with a few to look for while dating someone or dating yourself!

This episode is filled with everything that we need to be leaving in 2023 and not bringing into the new year! It?s a new year and new version of ourselves for everyone! I hope that you use this year to really tap into your full potential and take advantage of all the beautiful things that you have going on in your life!

Today I talk about why do men help women who bring nothing to the table but are reluctant to help women who they see are already doing so much on their own? Do they feel like since she can do it all what does she need me for? Or do they just naturally have no desire to offer or be of service to her because their ego desires someone who NEEDS them?

This episode is about where you are going or not going for first dates and why. They made a list on Instagram of first date places that women don?t want to go to and I also made a list of 9 qualities I think are important for you to notice if someone has when you are dating or in a relationship with them. These qualities are important to me, but that doesn?t mean they have to be for you lol. Anyways I?m happy to be done touring and god willing book number #5 will be ready for you to preorder this Friday !!

I start off with my new poem Invisible Girl On this episode I talk about how much courage it takes to walk into love with no wall up. How walls may protect you but they also keep things from coming in, some really beautiful things. Don?t be afraid to show up as your full self in any type of relationship, WE ARE NOT STARTING FROM SCRATCH WE ARE STARTING FROM EXPERIENCE. If you are afraid to be hurt I understand, but that?s one of the risks we take. I hope that you are able to take that risk for what you want. Use the link below for my upcoming shows https://beacons.ai/maui_w

On this episode I give a recap and talk about not feeling guilty about expressing what you need. A lot of the times we don?t want to feel like we are a burden or asking for too much so we allow ourselves to continue to be unsatisfied or to feel unappreciated. It is okay to ask for what you need, it is okay to say ?this is not working for me, let?s try a different way? , you do not have to settle for what is offered to you. FOR TICKETS TO MY UPCOMING SHOWS USE THE LINK BELOW https://beacons.ai/maui_w

On this episode I talk about letting people live in their world of delusions, being accountable if you?ve been the delusional one and forgiving yourself but not being too hard on yourself because you are doing your best. Make sure you get tickets below for the last poetry nights that I will be having for the year !!!! NY 9/28 Indy 10/5 Boston 10/13 St. Louis 10/20 https://beacons.ai/maui_w

Today I talk about not watering down your expectations or desires because you?re with someone you feel like will never give it to you. Don?t make excuses for why someone won?t show up for you or try and convince yourself that you don?t need certain things in a relationship because you?ve accepted the fact they won?t put the effort in to do it. Make sure you get tickets to see me in New York this month at City Winery New York https://citywinery.com/newyork/Online/mapSelect.asp?doWork::WSmap::loadMap=Load&createBO::WSmap=1&BOparam::WSmap::loadMap::performance_ids=00AD16AD-49C6-43D3-B26A-197A5174AB24

On this episode I talk about being a placeholder. Allowing someone to continue to reap benefits from you while you never get what you want in return, they will use you up while they wait for what they actually are looking for. I talk about people leading you on, being misleading or saying anything you want to hear so that they can keep using you. Check out my books at www.mauithewriter.com and my NY show 9/28 at City Winery

On this episode we talk about how being in toxic relationships also effect the other personal relationships in your life. Everyone from your friends, to your children and family, can get hurt by seeing someone they love constantly being hurt. I talk about choosing yourself, letting someone go, creating a list that will help you with perspective and not having to beg someone for what you need. You can find all my books at mauithewriter.com

Sending love and prayers to my friend and sister Andrea Jones and healing strength to her family. This episode is for my people pleasers, I beg you to stop doing more for people who already don?t appreciate you. Stop going out of your way for people who hurt you, stop allowing people to keep using you, save some of YOU for YOU!!!

On this episode we talk about wanting to get your lick back or revenge on people who have hurt you or embarrassed you. We talk about being hurt by people that we cared for and really having to sit with those emotions of betrayal and embarrassment. I also answer 3 audience questions. Also check out all my books and use the code LOVE for free shipping at www.mauithewriter.com

On this episode here are some of the topics that I talk about

Its not your partners job to make you happy all the time Its not your partners job to do the work for you Outgrowing or not outgrowing people Soulties Being proud of yourself Expressing how much you love people and not being afraid to be vulnerable

MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM AT @SELFCAREXCHILL

CLICK THE LINK BELOW FOR SHOWS AND BOOKS

https://beacons.ai/maui_w

On this episode I talk about how being hurt can change the way that we love and our ability to let people in to also love us properly. I talk about being comfortable expressing your standards, qualities to look for in a partner, breaks during relationships and being with someone on your emotional level. You deserve to experience a love that has no limits when it comes to you and a love that will show up for you when you need them the most. This episode was recorded in real time also on instagram live so that I could answer your questions. Check out my relationship books below https://www.mauithewriter.com/

This episode is for the people who are pouring into and building connections with people who have no desire to be with them or take them seriously. Set boundaries and expectations when it comes to dating so that you do not keep wasting your time on dead end situationships

On this episode of Self Care and Chill we talk about everything sex related. From being a late bloomer, trying new sex positions and even relationships. I had a great time recording this episode because it was super funny yet informative. If you were a tom boy like me growing up I know you will really be able to relate to some of my experiences. I loved how open Ler and Lionel were on their perspectives, so make sure you also check out their podcasts Late Night With Ler & Lionel. Also subscribe on youtube so you can watch the visual when it drops this week!

https://www.youtube.com/@MauiTheWriter

Hey y?all ! I wanted to give y?all some updates on what?s been going on in my life! From my baby turning 1 being in the middle of a sold out poetry tour! Let?s do a little recap and all the things I learned walking into 2023! You can watch this whole recap on youtube too so that you can see some behind the scenes from the poetry shows that we have been having.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqhZ1h0kZJI

Check this episode out NOW ON YOUTUBE! This episode with Adjua Styles was so great! Adjua a mother, an author, a business woman, health advocate and the wife to Styles P. We talked about health, relationships, healing and dealing with grief. On this never ending journey of healing and discovering different layers of yourself, her strength is so admirable. I hope this episode allows people to see different amazing sides of her and for you to have confirmation or something that you needed to hear on your own journey of healing. Make sure you follow their business @farmacyforlife where you can order their health and wellness products.

This episode we talk about making time for ourselves and our partners as moms. Sometimes it is so difficult to find that balance and find time to not only make your partner feel loved but yourself. I wanted to talk to you a little about what I have been doing and what has been the key to my self care routine when it comes to showing up for myself. Buy tickets for the tour https://beacons.ai/maui_w Watch the last episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/PZ_FcWcVseE

I sat down with Nigel Euro and we talked about him being on the last season of Too Hot To Handle on Netflix, relationships, dating and holding himself accountable on certain decisions that he has made when it has come to dating and relationships. The interview was very light and fun. Make sure that you follow him on instagram at @nigeleuro_ on instagram and follow the @selfcarexchill podcast instagram page. This episode is available to watch on youtube via the link below https://youtu.be/PZ_FcWcVseE

On this episode I answer 2 questions that were sent to the podcast page @selfcarexchill and I talk about being cheated on. The emotional hurt that you have to deal with when you?re cheated on and all of the things that we ?tried to do right? I also have a bunch of shows coming up so make sure you follow on social media to stay up to date !

Thank you for tuning into a new episode of Self Care & Chill with Maui. We talk about being single, knowing our worth, standing on our boundaries and not settling. A lot of what we touched will be in my new ebook I am dropping today at www.mauithewriter.com I also took a trip to Scarsdale NY and went to @farmacyforlife so make sure you check them out on instagram for all of their vitamins

A mini episode of motivation. I missed all of you so much. I just wanted to stop by and give you a recap of what has been going on in my life and send you some light. Use the code selflove for a discount at mauithewriter.com

This episode I talk about if it is okay to tell someone how you want to be loved or should they just know? At what point are we self sabotaging relationships by expecting people to be mind readers? Or should we not have to explain certain things to someone who is interested in us? What are some things that you are not willing to explain to someone "At this big ole age" as you all like to say? lol- You can also tune into this episode on Youtube at Maui The Writer so you can let me know how you feel about this. Follow me on instagram @selfcarexchill 

This episode we discuss not being happy within your relationship and two people putting in the effort to make the relationship work. Being comfortable communicating about what you want and not feeling bad. This is your life make sure you are living the life that you want and not the one that you settled for. Use the code selfcare for a discount at www.thesoftestlife.com and for relationship books www.mauithewriter.com

I am sending you love if this is your first holiday alone. Somebody loves you and it is okay to surround yourself with people that remind you how loved you are!! Enjoy 50% off the entire website when you use the code BLACKFRIDAY www.thesoftestlife.com