Conversations with Dr. Jennifer
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a sex and relationship expert who has been interviewed for hundreds of podcasts. You can access all the amazing content covering issues of faith, sexuality, integrity, belonging, and more right here on the interview archive! Dr. Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. The advice offered through any and all podcasts in which she is featured is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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finlayson-fife.comEpisodes
Uncharted: Finding Peace and Stability in New and Uncertain Territory || Room for Two Teaser!
In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps Nate and Nora see how they have each handled their fear and anxiety in destructive ways ? Nora becoming rigid and Nate turning to condescension. These strategies are compelling because they are an easy escape from the intensity and discomfort of marital growth and expansion. Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains that the path to more stability and connection in their relationship is differentiation ? learning to tolerate the aloneness and invalidation that comes when you love someone who sees and experiences the world differently than you do.
2022-11-21Link to episode
Understanding Anxiety
In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sherrae Phelps and Kristi Bassett for a frank discussion about anxiety. During the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offers an important distinction between fear and anxiety and gives practical tips on how we can each learn to better cope with the uncertainties that are inherent to life.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
*Fear vs Anxiety
*How to increase our tolerance for anxiety and uncertainty
*Supporting family members with anxiety
*Anxiety medication
2022-11-17Link to episode
Conflict in Relationships
In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Raini Hamilton to talk about the important role conflict plays in intimate relationships and how couples can use conflict to grow closer together and expand their lives and relationship.
2022-11-02Link to episode
Discomfort for Growth: Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Personal and Professional Journey
In this NEW podcast episode, Kirsten and Alexis of the Sharing Her Journey podcast (@sharingherjourney) invite Dr. Finlayson- Fife to discuss challenging moments from her earlier years and the impact those challenges have had on her life and career path.
2022-10-26Link to episode
Understanding Overfunctioning
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Ashlynn Mitchell of the This is Ashlynn podcast (@this.isashlynn) to help listeners better recognize how they overfunction and underfunction (that?s right, you may be doing both!) in their marriages and in parenting.
2022-10-19Link to episode
Growing Beyond Duty Sex
In this NEW PODCAST, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Cory Allan of the Sexy Mariage Radio Podcast to discuss duty sex and what couples can do to bring more desire, passion, and aliveness to their intimate relationship.
2022-10-04Link to episode
Rethinking Modesty
In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Brecklyn Winder of the Bread and Butter Podcast to discuss the negative meanings that many of us inherited around modesty and sexuality. Dr. Finlayson-Fife goes on to share how we can rethink and reframe those ideas to develop a healthier understanding of both modesty and sexuality.
2022-09-27Link to episode
Pornography and Self-Compassion
In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Camille Scow of the Choosing Love podcast to talk about the complexities of pornography usage and how you can show love and support to your spouse and yourself in the wake of a pornography disclosure.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
* The important role of self-compassion as we work through fears and anxieties associated with porn usage
* Harmful meanings around pornography that hinder our growth and understanding
* Anger as a positive resource
* The true measure of progress for a porn user
* Trust vs Trustworthiness
2022-09-20Link to episode
Cutting the Apron Strings
In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Heather Frazier of the Pivot Parenting podcast to talk about the many emotions that can come as parents transition into the empty nest phase of life, and how we can best support our kids as they become more independent and step out into the world.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
* Dealing with the loss of purpose and identity as we transition to the empty nesting phase
* Encouraging confidence and independence in adult children
* Supporting married children to leave and cleave to their partner
* Making room for a new daughter or son-in-law in the family culture
2022-09-12Link to episode
Sexuality as a Force for Good
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Sarah Brewer of the Overcome Pornography For Good Podcast to discuss how taking responsibility for your own life and chocies will increase your capacity to love and be loved.
2022-08-31Link to episode
Room for Two: Soul Expanding Sex (Dave and Carly - Part 2)
In the weeks between their first and second meeting, Dave began showing more genuine interest in Carly and became more protective of their partnership. Carly started to confront her control and punishment towards Dave. The development of both parties resulted in Carly and Dave feeling less resentment towards each other, and Carly feeling greater trust and desire for sexual connection.
Carly and Dave are now hoping to take their physical relationship to the next level, but find themselves hesitant about the sex they desire. Listen to this full-length Room for Two episode to hear Dr. Finlayson-Fife help Carly and Dave confront their complicated relationship to sexual pleasure.
2022-08-23Link to episode
Crossing Ideological and Interpersonal Divides: How to Create Unity in Conflict
This NEW podcast episode is the recording of Dr. Finlayson-Fife?s recent presentation at a stake women?s conference. During this presentation, she focuses on how we can use conflict and difference to increase our wisdom and create more unity in our families and communities. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also addressed questions from members of the congregation about loving LGBTQ family members, women?s role in the Church, and how to better understand and love family members who leave the church.
2022-08-16Link to episode
JFF Talks TikTok: Salt Lake Tribune Interviews Dr. Jennifer on LDS Non-Monogamy
In this recent podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joined Dave Noyce and Peggy Fletcher Stack of The Salt Lake Tribune's Mormon Land podcast (@mormonland) to discuss the recent viral "MomTok" video. In this discussion, Jennifer talks about how the lack of strong moral development in individuals can lead to vulnerabilities within a marriage.
2022-08-09Link to episode
Traditions and Truth
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins The Cultural Hall Podcast to discuss some of the false traditions that have been passed down through generations and are now being misunderstood as doctrine?topics like patriarchal order within the church and family, Mother in Heaven, equality, priesthood authority, polygamy, and sexuality. It?s important to pray, ponder, and discern your own position.
2022-08-01Link to episode
Accountability in Relationships
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tony Overbay of The Virtual Couch Podcast (@tonyoverbay) to discuss differentiation, self-validation, and the vital role of self-confrontation in intimate relationships.
2022-07-26Link to episode
Overfunctioning, Competitiveness, and Superiority in Relationships
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rohnda Farr (@rhondafarr_coaching ) to discuss the impact of over-functioning and feelings of superiority in marriage, and what couples can do to address the behaviors that are limiting the intimacy in their marriage.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
* The self-deceptions of an over-achiever (you might be surprised)
* Why you may feel the?need to be needed?
* Recognizing your false sense of control
* Dealing with powerlessness in your life
* How competition can creep into marriage.
* Wanting vs Desiring
In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife talks about the upcoming Art of Loving retreat for men. You can learn more about the retreat and get your ticket HERE.
2022-07-18Link to episode
Lessons from King David: Self-Deception, Honesty, and Spiritual Development
This NEW podcast episode is the recording of Dr. Finlayson-Fife?s presentation during a recent gospel study session hosted by Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought. This fascinating discussion focuses on the fall of King David and how each of us is still beloved by God, despite being vulnerable to our own hubris and self-deception.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
* The importance of self-confrontation
* The complexities of humanity
* Facing our darker selves
* Honesty
* Spiritual development
* Self-deception
* Marriage as a mechanism for growth
2022-07-13Link to episode
Women and The Church
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sherrae Phelps to discuss ways Latter-Day Saints can navigate this period of transition within the church with strength and integrity, and what we can do as individuals to contribute to the development of our community.
2022-07-08Link to episode
Coping with The Fallout After Betrayal || Room for Two Teaser!
In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Andy and April to see how they each contributed to the marital dysfunction and, in particular, how Andy's dysfunction was expressed in deception and betrayal. She works with the couple to help them see what they can do to move forward, as well as bring more honesty and equality to their relationship.
2022-06-30Link to episode
Faith, Integrity, and Spiritual Development
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Matana of the Hope to Recharge podcast for a powerful discussion on faith, integrity, and spiritual development.
2022-06-29Link to episode
How to Talk to Your Kids (and others!) About Sex
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of the Bless the Refreshments Podcast to discuss why talking about sex with our kids and spouses can be so difficult and what we can do to reduce our own anxiety about sexuality.
2022-06-06Link to episode
Workshops and Retreats
In this episode of Marriage on a Tightrope, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kattie Mount to talk about the many incredible workshops and retreats she will be hosting this year. If you've ever been curious about attending an in-person event with Dr. Finlayson-Fife, you are going to love this episode!
2022-05-25Link to episode
Healthy Sexual Development
In this conversation with Michelle Larson of Uplift for Kids, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses what parents can do to facilitate the healthy sexual development of their children throughout every stage of development.
2022-05-16Link to episode
Sex and Motherhood
Many of us inherited meanings about sexuality from our families and culture that have actually inhibited our sexual desire. In this podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rachel Nielson from the 3 in 30 podcast to discuss these restrictive meaning frames and how we can shift our mindset to make room for more desire and a more fulfilling sexual relationship.
2022-05-06Link to episode
Room for Two: Why Heroes Struggle with Intimacy (Dave and Carly - Part 1)
In this full-length Room for Two preview episode, Jennifer meets with Carly and Dave. Dave has spent his entire life being a problem solver--for his mother, his wife, and the world. This over-functioning has interfered with his ability to be knowable to others. As a result of this heroic tendency, Dave tends to view his wife as more of a problem to be solved than as an intimate friend. A dynamic that has left Carly feeling lonely, frustrated, and resentful.
2022-04-27Link to episode
Navigating a Midlife Crisis
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sherrae Phelps for a powerful discussion about the often disillusioning middle years of life, and what we can do to remain hopeful, engaged, and productive during this phase of our development.
2022-04-20Link to episode
Understanding Men's Sexuality
This NEW podcast episode is the recording of a recent Facebook live where Dr. Finlayson-Fife addressed the gift of men's sexuality and took questions from Facebook group members about masculinity, hierarchy, pornography, and more!
2022-04-11Link to episode
Parenting a Perfectionistic Child Part 2
This is part to of the interview Monica Packer of About Progress conducted with Carolyn Bever & Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife to discuss parenting perfectionistic children. Listen to learn more about...
- How to define your role as a parent
- Shifting the value from external sources to one?s internal courage
- More tips on parenting your perfectionistic child
- And more...
2022-04-06Link to episode
How to Discuss Sexuality with your Children
Dr. Finlayson-Fife was interview by the Find the Magic team about addressing and helping our children develop a healthy relationship with their sexuality. Listen to learn more about:
- Questions to ask yourself to help you sort out your own relationship to your sexuality
- How to help your child understand that they are a powerful chooser in their life, especially around their sexuality
- How to create guidelines and boundaries with your kids as they learn to integrate their sexuality
- Teaching your children that being careful around their sexual choices matters
2022-03-23Link to episode
Parenting a Perfectionistic Child Part 1
Monica Packer of About Progress talked with Carolyn Bever & Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife to discuss parenting perfectionistic children. Listen to learn more about...
- How to identify if you have a perfectionistic child
- Why perfectionistic children can be over or underperforming
- Separating your own sense of worth from your child?s achievements
- How to illustrate the importance of failure in the process
2022-03-09Link to episode
Curfews, Crop Tops, Choices & More
Dr. Finlayson-Fife was interviewed by Ivy, Kristi?s daughter. Ivy is a smart and thoughtful teen who asked wonderful questions pertinent to all teens and parents of teens!
Listen to this podcast to hear Dr. Finlayson talk directly to teens about:
- Troubles that teens face in friendships and relationships
- Anxiety
- Disagreements with parents
- and more!
2022-03-03Link to episode
Improving Your Marital Relationship
Dr. Finlayson-Fife joined Momivate for a Momversation on the topic of improving your marital relationship. This episode is full of helpful tips and insights including:
- How to address conflicts in the marital and sexual relationship that interfere with happiness
- Claiming your sexuality as your own
- A helpful distinction between forgiveness and trusting
- Normalizing struggles in marriage and using those struggles for our growth
2022-02-23Link to episode
Boundaries
In this recording of a Facebook Live Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches about boundaries. Listen to this episode to learn more about:
- The purpose of boundaries
- Types of boundaries
- How to be clear headed when setting your boundaries
- The immense importance of honesty
2022-02-15Link to episode
Reawakening Suppressed Sexuality || Room for Two Teaser!
Morgan knows sexual desire, but she has deliberately repressed those feelings for so long that she is struggling to get them back.
When she was younger, Morgan had a healthy curiosity about sex but felt she had crossed a line by reading romantic literature. In an effort to restore a sense of worthiness, she changed course and tried to never look back.
While Morgan now tries to be sexual with Harry, her heart just isn?t in it. She finds it more intuitive to accommodate Harry than to find and express her own eroticism after so many years of trying to snuff it out. In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explores how Morgan?s anxiety, perfectionism, and external moral reference have limited her capacity for intimacy, and what she can do to develop a healthier relationship to her sexuality as well as a more fulfilling intimate relationship with Harry.
2022-02-08Link to episode
Answers to FAQ About Sex
In this episode, Dr. Jennifer joins Courtney Anderson of the Glow Boss Podcast to answer your questions about sex. They cover everything from high libido to sexual dreams about an ex to the psychology of climaxing. Listen to hear more about:
- How to integrate freedom in the sexual relationship in a committed relationship
- Meaning frames that can help your sexual relationship thrive through changes in life such as the postpartum stage and aging
- Navigating desire differences in your relationship
2022-02-07Link to episode
Women's Sexual Agency in a Context of Patriarchy
This episode is a recording of Dr. Jennifer reading an essay she wrote entitled "Let's Talk about Sex". The full episode can be found on the Breaking Down Patriarchy podcast hosted by Amy Allebest.
Listen to this episode to hear more about....
- Women?s relationship to their sexuality in the context of a patriarchal society
- LDS women?s ability to be choosers in the sexual realm
- Cultural invalidation of women?s eroticism
- Why self-hood is a stronger factor in desire than biological drive
- How undermining women?s strength undermines strength in marriages, families and society
2022-02-02Link to episode
The Divine Feminine
In this new podcast episode Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of the Latter-day Contemplation podcast to discuss the Divine Feminine.
2022-01-25Link to episode
The Courage to be Disappointed: Giving Up Covert Control for Marital Growth || Room for Two Teaser!
Rick and Sarah are really good at hiding.
Rick hides behind his nice guy persona?he has learned through experience that if he keeps Sarah comfortable enough, he will maximize the chances of getting sex. So, he skirts around the truth and keeps his honest thoughts to himself in an attempt to keep the boat from rocking. Sarah has fully bought into this dynamic and pushes for Rick?s accommodation. She knows the part to play, plays it well, and takes refuge in fading into the background and letting Rick take care of her. While this one-up/one-down dynamic has created an amicable enough marriage, it hasn?t created much passion or intimacy.
In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife meets again with Rick and Sarah to discuss how they can create a more equal and strong partnership by both bringing more courage and honesty to their relationship.
2022-01-18Link to episode
Betrayal Trauma, Pornography & Sex
Zach and Darcy Spafford of The Self-Mastery Podcast: Overcome Pornography for Good interviewed Dr. Finlayson-Fife and discussed the roots of the issues surrounding unwanted pornography use, betrayal trauma and infidelity.
2022-01-06Link to episode
Navigating Religious Challenges with Integrity
Dr. Finlayson-Fife joined Sherrae Phelps to discuss how to navigate religious challenges with integrity, from the best within us.
2022-01-01Link to episode
Parent's Hardest Questions Answered
?Parenting is noble work, in part because you are so often reaching through the dark trying to figure out what it means to love this unique child, with their specific challenges, strengths and desires.?
Dr. Finlayson-Fife joined Tina Gosney of the Parenting Through the Detour podcast to answer difficult questions that are on parents minds and souls.
2021-12-17Link to episode
Addressing Resentment in Marriage
In this podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Corey Allan of Sexy Marriage Radio for a frank discussion about resentment in marriage and how we can avoid this common pitfall by becoming more honest with ourselves and learning to not rely on our spouses for validation.
2021-12-13Link to episode
Spiritual and Sexual Development + the Power of Lipstick
It can be extraordinarily difficult to break free from the framing and meanings that we were handed in childhood. It is easy to perpetuate these systems unwittingly as adults because it is what we know--it's the water we are swimming in.
The process of waking up to the way we are participating in unhealthy systems requires a lot of self-confrontation, faith, and courage. It means breaking free of the systems we know and taking the more courageous path of offering our partners and children something better than what we received.
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Paul Duane of The Soul Anarchist podcast for an engaging and powerful discussion of everything from the evolution of Jennifer's understanding of and relationship to God to the power of lipstick and high-waisted jeans.
2021-12-02Link to episode
From Cellmates to Soulmates || Room for Two Teaser!
Phil and Claire still have a lot to untangle from their past and the views they each inherited about sexuality from their family and culture. In this follow-up interview, Claire and Phil are wondering how they can bring more real passion into their intimate relationship. Listen in as Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Phil and Claire to explore what they can do to bring their newfound honesty and authenticity to their physical relationship.
2021-11-22Link to episode
Teens, Confidence, and Sexuality
In this NEW podcast episode Jennifer joins Heidi Benjaminson of Confidence Coaching to talk to parents about confidence, perfectionism, and how to best help our kids navigate the awkward and uncomfortable process of maturing into adulthood.
2021-11-18Link to episode
Bridging the LGBTQ Gap in the LDS Church
In this podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tina Gosney for a timely conversation about the importance of bringing honesty and courage to our faith community, especially when it comes to complex and divisive social issues. Being both loving and honest, even with varying perspectives, fosters greater understanding and compassion, and helps us all become wiser.
2021-11-12Link to episode
Exploring Masculinity
In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Jared and Ethan Thomas of the @a.brothers.creed podcast to talk about how society's view of masculinity has shifted over time and how to develop real masculine strength.
2021-11-03Link to episode
Coping With Lack of Desire in a Mixed-Orientation Marriage
Feeling rejected by your spouse in any realm can be disheartening, but when the rejection is sexual, it can be exceptionally demoralizing experiencing.
Sexual rejection is particularly potent because during arousal states the brain is highly plastic. So any emotion, good or bad, holds extra sway when it is experienced during an aroused state.
In this episode of Sex Therapy 101, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Cami Hurst to answer a listener's question about how to move forward and cultivate her sexuality after years of feeling undesired and fundamentally rejected by her spouse during their 21-year mixed-orientation marriage.
2021-10-28Link to episode
You Say it Best When You Say Nothing at All || Room for Two Teaser!
Adam and Sarah have a communication problem. While they feel that they don't communicate well, the reality is that their communication is crystal clear, they just don't like what is being communicated.
Both Adam and Sarah entered the marriage with rigid ideas of what their relationship would look like, and when those expectations went unfulfilled, the resentment they felt for each other began to grow. In this episode, listen in as Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Adam and Sarah to help them learn to become less dependant on each other while creating a relationship with more compassion and deeper honesty in the process.
2021-10-25Link to episode
Mormonism and Sex
In this episode of Mormonland Jennifer joins a panel with Michael Austin, Jacob Hess, and hosts Peggy Fletcher Stack and David Noyce to discuss the history, theology, and ethics of sexual relations in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
2021-10-21Link to episode