Trigger Warning: This episode discusses weight gain and body image, medical dismissal, infertility, IVF, a failed embryo transfer, a high-risk pregnancy, postpartum anxiety and depression, and painful medical procedures.

Alexus has a PhD in cell biology. She writes about the human body for a living. And for ten years, she couldn't get a diagnosis for what was happening in her own. She gained weight fast while eating well and working out, some days twice. Doctors tested her for PCOS, told her she didn't have it, and sent her home with diet and exercise advice she was already following.

In this episode, Alexus talks about the mom who had a gut feeling before anyone else did, the husband who never once made her prove anything, a pregnancy spent driving herself to scans alone, and what finally happened when she walked into the right office. She also gets honest about IVF, a kind of grief nobody really knows how to name, and fighting her insurance company for the medication that finally made her feel okay in her own body.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My kid is just over one and has about $4,000 in a brokerage account. His net worth might be higher than mine. But it turns out that investing for your kids is only one small piece of setting them up, and I had never once thought about protecting Becks’ identity. I even skipped identity protection when I added him to my benefits this year. So Alex and I are getting into what parents overlook, starting with the stuff that doesn’t cost much. We also have some big news: For the Hayters Foundation is officially live, and Wallet Therapy is now part of it.

The Solution

Oxygen mask first: Paying off debt and saving for retirement come before investing for your kids. The free stuff can start now.Money talks at every age: What to teach little kids, elementary and middle schoolers, teens, and young adults, without trying to raise tiny financial experts.The allowance debate: Why basic household chores might not earn a paycheck, and how bonus jobs can teach cause and effect.Honest without the anxiety: Try “that’s not what we’re choosing to spend our money on right now” instead of “we can’t afford that because we have too many bills.”Credit freezes for kids: How to mail the three credit bureaus, what documents you need, and what a freeze can and can’t protect against.Authorized users: How adding your kid to a credit card can give them a head start, and why you should skip it if you’re still struggling with credit card debt.Life insurance basics: The questions to ask if something happened to you or your partner, plus the difference between term and permanent coverage. Part two is coming with beneficiaries and estate planning.

This week’s homework

Choose one money habit to start practicing with your kid, like swapping out “we can’t afford that.” Then start a simple checklist for the rest and work through it over time. You don’t have to do it all in one weekend. No kids? Send this to someone who has them.

Connect with us

Patreon: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Email: [email protected]

Learn more about the For the Hayters Foundation, volunteer, or look into our open board seats at forthehayters.org.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode includes child physical and emotional abuse, domestic violence, self-harm, drug use, teen homelessness, parental mental illness, and strong language.

Liz's story doesn't start with a fact. It starts with a few different versions, all told by a mom who doesn't always tell the truth. By nine, her mom was gone. By 15, her mom told another woman she could keep Liz if she got to keep the car. By 16, Liz was out on her own with a black trash bag and a Lion King pillowcase.

She's my neighbor and my chosen family, and I thought I knew her story. I didn't know half of it. In this episode, Liz walks through a childhood shaped by abuse, a parent who made up whole lives, a dad she loved and lost and found again, and the friends who ended up raising her. She's blunt, she's funny, and she gives grace to people who probably haven't earned it.

This is a story about who gets to tell your story, and what happens when you finally take it back.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

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🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infertility, IVF, early pregnancy loss, and a family member's dementia.

Yvette married Josh in February 2022, and the plan was simple: start a family. After the wedding, her period never came back. It wasn't stress. It wasn't pregnancy. It was Turner syndrome, a chromosomal condition usually diagnosed in childhood. Yvette found out at 34, along with the news that her ovaries had already failed.

In this episode, Yvette talks about the family explanation that kept anyone from looking closer, the answer that was sitting in her chart unflagged, and what it really costs to build a family when the usual way isn't an option. She opens up about donor embryos, the conversation she had to have with Josh, and what it's like to keep hoping on a timeline she doesn't control.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Every time I open my phone, someone is yelling that the market is about to crash. And honestly? I get anxious when money just sits there. Alex is the total opposite. She’s over here stressing about pulling money out of savings for a lanai she literally saved for. So this week we finally asked the question everyone’s whispering: is the market going to crash? Spoiler: nobody knows. Not Alex, not the guy on TikTok, not even most professional fund managers. The better question is what YOU are going to do when it happens.

The Solution

Correction, bear market, crash: what those scary words actually mean (10%, 20%, and “oh no”).

Panic selling is two bad bets: you have to time getting out AND getting back in, and selling turns a temporary dip into a permanent loss.

Time horizon is everything: if you don’t need this money for 30 years, today’s drop isn’t your emergency.

Your emergency fund is your crash pad: cash on hand means you’re never forced to sell at the bottom.

Sometimes it’s not the market, it’s your portfolio: if a dip has you losing sleep, your mix might be too aggressive for who you really are.

Keep contributing: sticking to your plan during a downturn means buying at lower prices.

Plus a listener question from a 38-year-old with $250K who wants to move it all to cash, and a detour to a stock market bar in Barcelona where the drink prices crash too.

This week’s homework

Open your investment account and run the 30% test. Multiply your balance by 0.7 and write that number down. Then sit with it. Would you panic? Would you sell? Would you stop contributing? If the honest answer scares you, adjust your plan now, not in the middle of a crash.

Connect with us

Join the Hayters on Patreon for early episodes, a monthly Wallet Therapy Live, and direct access to Alex: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Got a money question for Alex? Email us at [email protected]

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger warnings: abortion, miscarriage, NICU and infant medical emergency, pediatric surgery, chronic pain, vision loss, panic attacks and alcohol use, parental infidelity and anger, family estrangement.

Bree was born visually impaired. By the time she was five, she'd had six or seven eye surgeries. For twenty-two years, nobody could explain why her body worked the way it did: the cataracts, the glaucoma, the hole in her heart, the dental problems dentists had never seen before, and the daily pain she assumed everyone had.

At 22, genetic testing finally gave her a name for it: oculofaciocardiodental (OFCD) syndrome, a rare genetic disorder she could pass on to her children. For someone whose biggest dream was to be a mom, the answer didn't feel like relief. It felt like one more thing to grieve.

Bree talks about growing up with a mom who fought for her at every turn and a dad who mostly wasn't there, the losses that came before her daughter, a NICU stay nobody could fully explain, and what it's like to sit on the other side of the exam table now, advocating for a little girl who shares her diagnosis.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

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🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

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🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses traumatic brain injury, drunk driving, substance use and addiction (including heroin), overdose, sexual assault, not caring whether you live or die, psychiatric hospitalization, a serious car crash, and the overdose death of a close friend.

At 15, Rachel was flying through the air at Worlds. Cheer wasn't her hobby. It was her whole life. Then one summer evening, a drunk driver ran a stop sign and hit her while she was crossing on her bike. She jumped up and told everyone she was fine.

She wasn't. The brain injury nobody could see took her grades, her muscle memory, her sport, and her friends. What came after took her to places her family still can't fully talk about. In this conversation, Rachel talks about the years she barely remembers, the parents who never stopped showing up, and the surprisingly ordinary moment she finally walked away.

This is a story about teen addiction, invisible injury, regret, and what it looks like to build a quiet life after years of chaos.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Confession: I took out a personal loan this month. After working SO hard to get where I am, I had to go back ten steps because our old house has not sold and the credit card interest was starting to scare me. I'm telling you because this show is about being honest about money, even when it's embarrassing. I'm also telling you because Alex has opinions about how to do it right.

Then we get into the conversation nobody wants to have until they're forced to. What happens when your parents retire and realize they don't have enough? Are you supposed to help? And how do you do that while you're paying your own mortgage, raising kids, and trying to save for your own retirement? Alex and I have lived this one with our own family, so we're getting real about it.

The Solution

Medicare is not free: Part B alone runs about $202.90 a month in 2026, before deductibles, coinsurance, prescriptions, dental, vision, and hearing.

Long-term care is a need, not a place: Whether it's assisted living (median cost around $6,200 a month) or someone checking in on Mom once a day, it costs money and someone has to provide it.

Three questions before you help: Is this an emergency? Is there a sustainable solution? Can you actually afford it without wrecking your own future?

Don't create your kids' problem: If you sacrifice your retirement to fund your parents', you might be handing the same crisis down a generation.

If you're 50 and behind: Know your numbers, estimate what retirement will really cost, plan for healthcare and housing, and have the family conversation now.

This week's homework

Pick one parent, partner, or even just yourself and ask three questions. How much is saved for retirement? What happens if someone needs long-term care? What do you expect from family financially? Write down the answers, even if they're scary. Especially if they're scary.

Patreon members get Alex's full retirement expense checklist and the complete list of questions to ask your parents.

Connect with us

Join the Hayters on Patreon for early episodes, bonus content, and the full checklist: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Questions for Alex? Email us at [email protected]

Money is emotional. And you deserve to feel safe with it.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses human trafficking, sexual violence, child sexual abuse and exploitation, organ harvesting, ritual violence against children, and domestic abuse. A content note comes before the hardest section. Listener discretion is advised.

Korrin's mornings look like a lot of ours: breakfast, the childcare handoff, nine-month-old twins who need everything at once. Somewhere between the bottles, there's a call from Uganda and a trip to Ecuador to plan. Korrin is a former Marine Corps cryptologic linguist, an attorney, a volunteer prosecutor, and the founder of Lantern Rescue, an organization fighting human trafficking in 18 countries.

In this conversation, Korrin talks about going from an insurance job she couldn't stand to a Russian language school in Monterey, to studying for the LSAT by flashlight in the back of a truck in Haiti. She explains why most trafficking victims don't know they're being trafficked, why those viral "almost got trafficked at Target" posts do more harm than good, and what happened after the night a woman we're calling Rosa was found.

This is a story about the worst things people do to each other, told by someone who refuses to look away and still goes home and makes dinner.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

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🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger warnings: cancer diagnosis and chemotherapy, hysterectomy and invasive medical procedures, brief discussion of intimacy after surgery, chronic illness and chronic pain, medical dismissal and weight bias in healthcare, a partner's severe anxiety, divorce and custody court, separation from children during COVID, and fear around losing health insurance.

Kristin's surgeon walked out of the operating room and told her family everything looked fantastic. A week later, a nurse handed her an envelope at her follow-up. She didn't open it. Then the doctor walked in and asked if she'd read it.

Kristin grew up an only child outside Detroit, sure of one thing: she was going to be a mom. Life got her there in unexpected ways. She became a stepmom to a four-year-old in her twenties, moved across the country and back, and ended a 16-year marriage to a man she still has love for. She came out during the pandemic while running a memory care facility in lockdown. Then her body started keeping score. There were years of "normal" lab results, a Hashimoto's diagnosis, a rare ovarian cancer called granulosa cell tumor, and a fibromyalgia diagnosis that came only after one specialist sent her a message that said, "I wish you luck."

This is a conversation about medical gaslighting, coming out later in life, and the things nobody tells you before surgery. It's also about what happened when Kristin finally shared her story and realized she wasn't as alone as she thought.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Confession: I have never once walked into a car purchase asking "can I afford this car?" I asked "can I afford this payment?" and called it a day. Turns out those are two very different questions, and the gap between them is where a LOT of money disappears.

This week Alex and I tackle the lease vs. buy debate. We cover why leasing can make an $80,000 car feel weirdly affordable, why a new car's "low" interest rate might still cost you more, and the Scion story that proves nobody actually knows what's in your bank account by looking at your car.

The Solution

Leasing means financing depreciation: You're paying to use a car for two to four years, plus mileage limits, wear and tear fees, and a payment that never ends.

Buying wins when you keep it: Pay it off, keep driving it, and suddenly $500 a month is yours again.

Watch the interest rate trap: New cars often come with lower rates than used ones, but on average you'll still pay around $15,000 more for the new one.

Know what $600 a month really costs: That's $36,000 over five years before gas, insurance, and maintenance. Invested instead, it could grow to over $350,000 in 20 years.

Ask the real question: Would you still want this car if no one saw it?

This week's homework

Calculate your true monthly car cost. Add up your payment, insurance, gas, maintenance, and registration. Then put that number next to your income and your goals and ask yourself: what else could this money be doing for me?

Connect with us

Join the Wallet Therapy community on Patreon for early episodes, monthly live sessions, and Discord access where Alex answers your questions directly: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Got a car decision you regret (or one you're proud of)? Tell us: [email protected]

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses financial trauma, debt, foreclosure and eviction, childhood dysfunction, the death of a family member, substance use, and a dark period of anxiety and self-blame. Listener discretion is advised.

Shannon has a master's degree. She was a teacher. On paper, she had it together. And for two years, she hid thousands of dollars of debt from the man she was about to marry.

It didn't start with a reckless swipe of a card. It started in childhood, in a house where money was a secret and "rob Peter to pay Paul" was the family motto. By 14, she was keeping her mother's financial secrets. By her late twenties, she'd bought a house alone, in her name only, and learned that asking for help made her physically sick.

In this conversation, Shannon walks me through the split mortgage payments, the predatory loans, the late notices in the trash, and the foreclosure letter she opened by herself. She tells me how the lie almost cost her the house, the marriage, and the person she thought she was, and what it finally took to stop hiding and say the two words that changed her marriage: same team.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

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🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, alcoholism, a disclosure that wasn't believed, pregnancy loss, surrogacy, and estrangement from a parent. Listener discretion is advised.

For most of her life, Justine's family ran on one rule: keep mom happy, whatever it costs you. She started paying that bill as a kid trying to survive her father. At 14, she finally told someone the truth and got handed an ultimatum instead of help. She spent years after that finding new people to save, because saving herself was never on the table.

A husband. A son. And for a while, two strangers on the other side of the world she agreed to carry a baby for. In this conversation, Justine talks about a house that looked completely normal in the school photo, what it costs to keep protecting people who don't deserve it, and the morning she wrote two goodbye letters and drove across the country with a U-Haul running.

This is a story about the difference between the parent you thought you had and the one you actually did, and what finally happens when someone decides it stops with her.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Credit cards are the topic where everyone has an extreme opinion. Either they're a free travel hack or they're evil and you should cut them all up. Alex's take is neither. A credit card is a tool, and the tool isn't good or bad on its own. What matters is how you're using it, and I am living proof that you can use one very badly for a very long time.

The Solution

The four types of credit card users. The credit card company's favorite customer, who carries a balance and pays minimums. The rewards optimizer, who pays in full and uses the card strategically. The avoider, who usually got there by clawing out of debt and is now scared of the thing. And the fourth type we added mid-episode, which is me: pays it off, but has no idea what benefits the card even has.

How credit card companies actually make money. Interest, annual fees, late fees, and interchange fees paid by merchants. That last one is where your rewards come from. If you're paying 25 percent interest to earn 2 percent cash back, you are not beating the credit card company.

The biggest mistakes. Carrying a balance to "build credit," which does not work. Paying only the minimum, which your statement will tell you takes anywhere from five to fifteen years. Buying things you can't afford yet. Opening too many cards. And doing a balance transfer without changing the behavior, which can leave you back charged for all the interest you thought you skipped.

The four rules if you're using them well. Pay the full balance, not just the statement balance. Treat the card like a debit card, so if you have $500 in checking you have $500 to spend, not your $5,000 limit. Set up autopay. Know your due date and review your spending monthly.

Should you cancel old cards? Audit them first. Check for annual fees, how old the account is, whether you actually use the benefits, and what canceling would do to your credit utilization. And ask about a downgrade option before you close anything, because most companies would rather keep you than lose you.

How to maximize rewards without wrecking yourself. Pick a card that matches spending you already do. Never manufacture spending to hit a welcome bonus. Actually redeem your points. Alex parks her cash back in a high yield account earning three and a half percent, and she and Derek are sitting on about $6,000 in points earmarked for a cold plunge and a sauna, which is a choice.

This week's homework

Pull up one card. Look at your total spending, the rewards you earned, the interest you paid, and the annual fee. Then answer one question: am I making money from this card, or is this card making money from me?

Connect with us

Join the Patreon for the monthly Wallet Therapy Live plus the master spreadsheet with the credit utilization calculator: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Got a question or a money confession? [email protected]

Track your card spending in one place with Monarch Money: https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: This episode discusses suicide attempts and methods, self-harm, domestic violence and strangulation, psychiatric hospitalization, postpartum depression, and the death of a child. Listener discretion is advised.

Nicole calls her life a beautiful disaster, and she means both words. By twenty-seven, she'd survived two suicide attempts in the same year, both times pulled back by her mother in the narrowest window imaginable. Not long after, she met a man who felt like the safest person she'd ever known. That feeling didn't last.

In this conversation, Nicole walks through the childhood that taught her to disappear so everyone else could be okay, the marriage that shrank her world down to who she was allowed to talk to and what she was allowed to wear, and the ordinary morning it turned physical in front of her son. She talks about the three days it took to pack his things, the twenty years of silence that followed, and the slow work of learning she was allowed to need things too.

This is a story about the version of survival nobody photographs: the therapy, the letters to the dead, the me-time in a locked bathroom, and one decision, made too many times to count, to stay.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses child death, fentanyl poisoning, overdose, CPR, and suicide in detail. Listener discretion is advised.

On a snow day in January of 2024, Kathy Jones' daughter went upstairs to wake her two kids for school. Fifteen minutes later, this family's life split into before and after.

Skylar was 14, an honor roll student who never met a stranger. Gage was 10, obsessed with dinosaurs and his pet turtle, Vicky. That afternoon, a fentanyl poisoning took them both, and their family went from a hospital waiting room they never got to sit in straight to a coroner's office.

In this conversation, Kathy talks about the day that changed everything, the rumors and misinformation that followed, raising her surviving granddaughter, and why she now speaks at the Washington Monument and the White House so that Skylar and Gage are never just a headline. This is a story about a family that did everything right, and lost everything anyway.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I had to pull cash out of my savings this week to pay for a patio, because apparently some people still only take cash in the year of our lord. So I am feeling some feelings about housing costs. Meanwhile Alex is under contract on a house, I just moved into a smaller one, and we both learned the same lesson from opposite directions: getting approved for a mortgage and being able to live comfortably with it are two completely different things.

The Solution

Approval is not a plan. The bank is measuring risk to the bank. It has no idea whether you want kids, want to retire early, or want to travel. Affording the payment is not the same as living with it.

Why this feels so hard right now. The median US home is around $435,000 and the median household income is about $88,000. To comfortably afford that house you'd need closer to $110,000. If buying feels out of reach, you are not imagining it.

Renting is not throwing money away. Renting buys flexibility, predictable costs, and way fewer maintenance surprises. Alex rented for two years after selling in Naples specifically so she could figure out where she actually wanted to live. Renting isn't wasted money if what it's buying you is options.

What ready actually looks like. Three to six month emergency fund still fully funded after you close. Stable income. A down payment you understand, including whether PMI applies. Closing costs of roughly 2 to 5 percent. And a maintenance budget of about 2 percent of the home's value each year for new construction, closer to 5 percent for an older home.

The hidden line items. Property taxes, homeowners insurance, HOA dues, lawn care, utilities, appliances, furniture. Alex was paying close to $1,500 a month in HOA fees in Naples for a gym she didn't even like.

The listener question that says it all. A couple got approved for $800,000 but planned to spend $550,000. Alex runs both numbers: about $3,000 a month versus $4,320 a month. That's $1,350 a month, over $16,000 a year, and close to $500,000 across a 30 year mortgage before you even count what that money could have grown into.

This week's homework

Calculate your true monthly housing cost. Not the mortgage or rent number, the real one. Add taxes, insurance, HOA, maintenance, and utilities. Then ask yourself two questions. Would I feel financially comfortable if one unexpected expense hit next month? And if no one ever saw my house, would I still want this one?

Connect with us

Join the Patreon for episodes early plus Wallet Therapy Live: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Got a question or a money confession? [email protected]

Track every dollar of that true housing cost in one place with Monarch Money: https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: cancer, medical trauma, death of a loved one, grief, body image. At 32, Jess found a lump adjusting a bra she'd bought herself for Christmas. What followed was a year of aggressive treatment, a gene she didn't know she carried, and a body that screamed for six weeks before the system let anyone say the word. 

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Val was diagnosed with hydrocephalus before she was born, and the doctors gave her mom a number and a recommendation. She's 27 now, married, teaching special education, finishing her master's, and living with hardware in her head and her back that has to be replaced when it fails. We talked about what it costs to build a completely ordinary life inside a body that keeps interrupting it, and how much of that life you have to go out and take.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today’s episode is a little different because Becky is away on her podcast tour, so Alex is flying solo and answering your money questions.

From $18,000 in credit card debt and feeling overwhelmed, to figuring out how to prioritize an emergency fund, Roth IRA, HSA, student loans, and future goals, Alex talks through the real-life financial decisions that can feel complicated when you’re trying to do everything at once.

She also breaks down snowball vs. avalanche debt payoff, what to consider when your student loans are in deferment, and whether apps like Acorns and Fetch are actually helping you—or just making it easier to spend.

Plus, a rapid-fire round covering mortgages, investing, checking your investments, combining finances with a partner, and one of the biggest financial mistakes people make in their 30s: waiting.

But underneath all of these questions is something bigger.

Fear of making the wrong decision.

Fear of falling behind.

Fear of not knowing enough.

You don't need to have everything figured out to start feeling more confident with money.

Sometimes you just need to make the next right decision.

Money is emotional—and you deserve to feel safe with it. 💚

Send us your money questions for a future episode!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: opioid addiction, drug poisoning and overdose, suicide loss, incarceration, newborn withdrawal, loss of custody.

Lauren was 16 when a doctor handed her a prescription for straight oxycodone for a cheerleading injury. No warning, no follow up, just take this for the pain. What happened in the eleven years between that waiting room and the house with the backyard she lives in now is the whole conversation. She talks about the parts that don't make her look good, on purpose, because she thinks somebody out there needs to hear them.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: pregnancy loss, infant loss, medical trauma and dismissal, hysterectomy, immigration enforcement and community fear.

Yari became a mom at 19 and spent the next decade being told her pain was normal, her odds were good, and the procedure would hold. It didn't. In this conversation she walks through three losses, the surgery she had to fight her own doctor to get at 28, and what she's doing right now for the elders on her block in Chicago.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For the longest time I thought investing was a members only club and nobody sent me the invite. People would say things like index fund and expense ratio and diversification, and I would smile and nod like I had any idea what was happening. Spoiler: I did not. This week Alex walks me through the whole thing from the very beginning, and it turns out the scary part was never the math. It was just the vocabulary.

The Solution

Saving vs investing. Saving is parking your car in the garage. Investing is sending your money out to get a full time job. They aren't competing, they're doing two different things.

Stocks vs bonds. Buying stock means owning a tiny piece of a company. Buying a bond means lending money and collecting interest. Owning part of a bakery vs lending the bakery money.

Why Alex loves index funds. Instead of betting on one football player, you buy the whole team. Roughly 90 percent of professional fund managers fail to beat the S&P 500 over a ten year period, which means the pros usually lose to the thing you can just buy yourself.

ETFs vs mutual funds. Both are baskets of investments. Mutual funds price once at the end of the trading day and often have minimums. ETFs trade all day like a stock and are usually easier to start with.

The real cost of an advisor. Alex runs the numbers on $500 a month over 30 years. No advisor and low cost index funds gets you about $1.1 million. Add a 1 percent advisor fee plus 1 percent in actively managed funds and you hand over nearly $400,000. The question isn't does my advisor charge a fee. It's am I getting enough value to justify it.

The investing dictionary. Diversification, compound growth, dividends, expense ratios, and dollar cost averaging, all in plain English.

Plus a listener question from someone who hasn't filed taxes in ten years after a terminal diagnosis they thankfully survived. Alex explains exactly where to start, and it's less scary than you think.

This week's homework

Do one thing. If you don't invest, open an account. If you already invest, log in and look at what you actually own. Can you explain it in one sentence? If you can't, go learn one thing about it. Progress over perfection.

Connect with us

Join the Patreon for episodes early plus Wallet Therapy Live: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Got a question or a money confession? [email protected]

Track it all in one place with Monarch Money: https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: This episode discusses secondary trauma, child abuse and neglect, substance use and addiction, overdose loss, suicidal ideation, stalking, and a mention of gun violence.

Morgan is a social worker and therapist in the same small town she grew up in. She testifies in court about things clients told her in a room they believed was private, she carries a caseload of names she already knows, and for one stretch of her life the hardest year of her job ran at the exact same time as the hardest year of her marriage. We talk about what it costs to be the only person everyone assumes is fine.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: This episode discusses opiate addiction, stillbirth, miscarriage, and infant loss.

Katie loved her husband through seven years of active addiction, then lost her daughter Ayla at 40 weeks, on her due date. In this conversation, she walks through recovery, repeated loss, the wedding they planned in the middle of grief, and the three boys who came after, including her youngest son's albinism diagnosis. 

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Everyone is talking about the Trump accounts, and honestly, the information out there is all over the place. One video says every kid gets $1,000. Another says run, don't walk, and open one today. So I called Alex, because I was confused too.

In this episode we break down what these accounts actually are, who qualifies for the free $1,000, how to sign up in about 10 minutes, and how they stack up against a 529, a brokerage account, and everything else we've covered. No politics, just the facts, the math, and what it could mean for your kid's future.

Money is emotional. You deserve to feel safe with it.

Connect with us:

Join the Hayters on Patreon for early access, our Wallet Therapy lives, and direct access to Alex on Discord: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Questions, debates, or money confessions: [email protected]

Love you, mean it.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: birth trauma, medical procedures performed without consent, infant medical emergency, NICU.

At 21, Angelina walked into her first birth expecting it to look like the movies. What she got was a day and a half of labor, decisions made about her body without her, and a newborn daughter rushed to a hospital 45 minutes away. This is the story of what nobody told her, and how she made sure it never happened to her again.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: PTSD, suicidal ideation, self-harm, alcohol use, and war.

Tim was told he was stupid before he was old enough to argue, and spent the next thirty years proving he could survive anything: underground cage fights, Special Forces selection, Afghanistan. Then he came home, and the hardest fight of his life started at 2 AM with nobody shooting at all.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We got Alex and me in the same room for once, in New Jersey for Bex's birthday, and instead of yip-yapping about numbers and the hard stuff, we decided to play a game. Would You Rather, money edition. I thought we'd disagree on everything. Turns out our answers surprised even us.

The catch with Would You Rather is that it feels like there's always an obvious answer, until you actually have to pick. And Alex's analytical brain wanted to ask ten clarifying questions per round, which, honestly, fair.

The Solution:

Money vs. meaning. $300K at a job you don't love or $90K doing work you adore? We get into why your job doesn't have to fulfill your soul, and why chasing that nearly wrecked me.

The dream house myth. Both of us would have said dream house five years ago. After actually living in one, we both went a different way. Turns out house poor is a real thing.

Time vs. money. Fridays off forever or a 20% raise? This is where the sisters split, and it comes down to how close each of us is to financial freedom.

Retirement, memories, and the college question. Retire at 50 or work until 70 at a job you love? Fund your kid's college or your own retirement? We land somewhere that might surprise you.

This one is less a lesson and more a window into how two people with very different money brains actually make decisions. Play along at home.

This week's homework: Pick a few of these questions and ask your partner, a friend, or a family member. Then really dig into how they got to their answer. Money isn't just numbers, it's priorities and the kind of life you want to support. Let us know where you landed, and whether you fully disagreed with us.

Connect with us:

Join the Hayters on Patreon for early access, our Wallet Therapy lives, and direct access to Alex on Discord: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Questions, debates, or money confessions: [email protected]

Love you, mean it.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: pregnancy loss, medical trauma, premature birth, surrogacy complications.

Sara drove six and a half hours to tell me what surrogacy actually took from her, and it was nothing I expected. This is a conversation about wanting something so badly you'll carry it for someone else, and what happens when your body makes a decision your heart didn't agree to.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: domestic violence, suicidal ideation, child neglect, miscarriage, addiction.

In Part 2, Kail tells me about the dad she built into a knight in her head, the night in 2019 she wasn't sure she'd take another breath, and the question she still can't put down: am I her?

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Retirement is one of those topics everyone throws numbers at you about. You need a million dollars. You should have six times your salary saved by 50. You should be maxing everything out. And honestly? It makes me want to close Instagram and pretend retirement doesn't exist.

But here's what Alex helped me understand this week: avoiding it doesn't make the problem smaller. It just makes it harder to fix later. So we're actually digging in.

The Solution:

Start now, not "when you make more." A $500/month contribution at 8% gets you $1.75M if you start at 25, but only $745K if you wait until 35. Same money. The difference is time.

Know your real number. The 80% rule and the 4% rule are starting points, not gospel. We walk through what they actually mean and why your number is more situational than the internet wants you to believe.

Build from multiple buckets. 401(k)s, Roth IRAs, traditional IRAs, HSAs, brokerage accounts, Social Security. The strongest plans pull from different tax buckets so you have flexibility later.

Avoid the five big mistakes. Waiting for the perfect time, skipping your employer match, staying in cash too long, ignoring healthcare costs, and assuming Social Security alone will carry you.

Plus, we answer a listener question from Emma, who paid off $170K in student loans and wants to know how to prioritize everything at once. Her situation is a masterclass in juggling goals.

This week's homework: Take 10 minutes to check your retirement accounts, your contribution rates, and your employer benefits. That's it. Awareness is always the first step.

Connect with us:

Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

Love you, mean it.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: child neglect, addiction, sexual assault, abortion.

You met Kail Lowry at 16, pregnant, on national TV. You never met the girl who came before her. The twenty-some moves, the locked doors, the childhood she spent raising herself long before any cameras showed up. I've known Kail for over ten years and thought I knew her story. I didn't know the half of it.  This is part one: the years no one was watching. 

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: outing, homophobia, sudden death of a parent, complicated grief, body image.

Em was outed at 13 — before she ever got to say the words herself — and spent years being told she was too young to know who she was. This episode is about what it took to stop hiding: coming out for real on her own terms, finding her wife Paige, and building a family the way they wanted it. It's also about loss. In 2024 she lost her mom suddenly, with a thousand things still unsaid between them, right as she was stepping into motherhood herself. We talk about grief that doesn't come with a clean story, the voice from childhood that never fully goes quiet, and what it means to become the parent you needed when you were small. 

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The second Becks was born, Becky called Alex in a full panic and asked one question: "What account am I supposed to open for him?" Same energy as everyone who's ever Googled "529 vs UTMA" at 11pm. In this episode, Becky admits she had no idea where to even start, and Alex breaks down every kid investment account without making any parent feel like they're already behind.

The Solution

Why the guilt parents feel is real, and why you can't pour from an empty cup (you can borrow for college, you cannot borrow for retirement)529 plans: strong tax advantages and high contribution potential, but locked into education and penalized for non-qualified withdrawalsUTMA custodial accounts: flexible and not tied to education, but your kid gets full control at 18 or 21, plus the "kiddie tax" and financial aid impacts to watch forRoth IRAs for kids: decades of tax-free growth, but only if your child has legitimate earned income (sorry, newborns don't qualify)Brokerage accounts: total flexibility, accessible anytime, and the account Alex and Becky both chose for their kids, with exactly why and how they set it upWhat to do if you're not financially stable yet, because there are still free, low-cost ways to start

This week's homework: If you're not stable yet, open a high-yield savings account in your kid's name and funnel birthday and holiday money into it, or just start building money habits at home. If you are stable, pick the ONE account that fits your family, not your friend's seven accounts on Instagram.

Want to ask Alex which account makes sense for YOUR family? Our Patreon members get direct access to her on Discord to ask anything → patreon.com/beckyhayter

Because money is emotional, and you deserve to feel safe with it. Love you, mean it.

Try Fidelity: https://fidelity.app.link/e/zN0pCpYeUZb

Try Monarch: Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

Connect with us:

Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed descriptions of domestic violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control.

Lauren spent four years inside a relationship that cost her almost everything — her safety, her money, her freedom, and pieces of herself she's still recovering. She left with a one-year-old son, no car, and nowhere to go. What happened next wasn't a clean start. It was a slow, unsteady crawl back toward a life that actually looked like her.

This is what surviving looks like when it isn't pretty.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Every time someone mentions a Roth IRA, do you nod along and then immediately Google it the second they walk away? Same. In this episode, Becky admits she still isn't totally sure what she has or doesn't have when it comes to retirement accounts, and Alex breaks it all down without making anyone feel behind.

The Solution

What a Roth IRA actually is and why Alex is obsessed with it (hint: the government doesn't get a cut)The difference between a Roth and a traditional account, explained in a way that finally makes senseWhy just opening the account isn't enough and the one step most beginners skipHSAs: the triple tax advantage account that most people scroll past during open enrollmentFSA vs. HSA, because yes, they are very different and one of them disappears if you don't use itThe income limits, contribution limits, and the deadline most people don't know exists

This week's homework: Check your emergency fund, peek at your retirement accounts, and spend ten minutes learning one financial concept you've been avoiding. That's it. That's the whole assignment.

Want to ask Alex your specific 401(k) questions live? Join us May 14th at 6pm in our Wallet Therapy Live session on Patreon → patreon.com/beckyhater

Try Fidelity: https://fidelity.app.link/e/zN0pCpYeUZb

Try Monarch: Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

Connect with us:

Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: Infertility, pregnancy loss references, birth trauma, body image, postpartum hemorrhage, medical trauma.

One in six people will experience infertility and most of them will do it in silence. Gel did two rounds of IVF through a global pandemic, went to every appointment alone, gave birth with her husband waiting outside the building, and spent two and a half years not recognizing her own body. She's finally talking about it.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: heart failure, near-death/flatline, suicide loss, domestic abuse, depression.

At three months old, Bree was given six months to live. She's 49 now — the only one left from a group of kids born with the same heart condition. We talk about being a "miracle baby" with the weight of that title, grieving the version of yourself you used to be, and the difference between existing and actually living.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You make decent money. You're contributing something to your 401(k). You think you're good. But what if I told you there's free money sitting on the table — money your employer literally wants to give you — and most people have no idea they're walking away from it?

This week on Wallet Therapy, Becky admits she spent years contributing 2% to her 401(k) and missing out on her full employer match (oof), and Alex breaks down the part of your paycheck you might not even know you're leaving behind.

We get into:

What an employer match actually IS (explained like you're five)Why this is step five on your money journey — and when it's okay to skip aheadThe "paycheck illusion" and why contributing $100 doesn't actually take $100 out of your checkRoth vs. Traditional 401(k) — and why Alex has strong feelings about itReal numbers: what starting at 20 vs. 30 vs. 40 vs. 50 actually looks like at retirementWhy it's NEVER too late to start (and the math to prove it)

Your homework: Log into your 401(k) right now. Check your contribution percentage. Is it hitting your full employer match? If not, increase it today. That's it. That's the assignment.

🎟️ Want to ask Alex your specific 401(k) questions live? Join us May 14th at 6pm in our Wallet Therapy Live session on Patreon → patreon.com/beckyhater

Try Monarch: Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

Connect with us:

Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: parental death, grief, generational trauma, brain surgery, mentions of medical events.

Laura and Este grew up in the same massive Italian family — same Christmases, same wedding tables, same kitchen — and barely spoke for the first 20 years of their lives. Then Laura's dad died. This conversation is about grief, immigrant parents, generational patterns, and the cousin who became her person inside a family she'd known her whole life. 

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: parental abandonment, complicated grief, dementia, caregiver burnout, complex family dynamics.

Danielle was raised by a single mom with a disability in the same small town as the father who chose not to be part of her life. Now she's parenting her own daughter while becoming a caregiver for the mother who raised her — who's living with dementia. This conversation is about growing up early, grieving a door that never opened, and learning to love in two directions at once.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

70% of couples argue about money more than they argue about chores — and yet nobody teaches us how to actually talk about it. Becky gets real this week, confessing that the second she downloaded Monarch and started tracking every dollar, Leah felt like she was being audited (in her defense, the mystery $450 Amazon charge turned out to be baby formula). She's said no to dinners with friends, her social life feels strained, and now she's wondering — is getting your money together supposed to cost you your relationships? If you've ever felt the squeeze between financial goals and the people you love, this one is for you.

The Solution: Alex (The Expert) walks through the three conversations every couple needs to be having — and the mindset shifts that make them work:

The Vision Date: Start with dreams, not numbers. Where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5, 10 years? Shared goals are what make the spending plan actually stick.The Monthly Check-In: 15-20 minutes, consistent, awareness not judgment. No hour-long money court sessions.The Emergency Huddle: When the unexpected hits, no blame — just solution.The 50/50 Trap: Why splitting bills equally when incomes aren't equal quietly causes financial infidelity — and why a percentage-based split is almost always more fair.The Friendship Tax: How to handle friends who spend at a different level than you (spoiler: the counter-offer changes everything).Your Most Expensive Relationship: Why your phone is quietly costing you more than any person in your life, and the 24-hour rule that helps you break up with it.

Plus, we answer a question from Anonymous — she's over 50, just told her husband about $10K in credit card debt, and he suggested separate fun accounts + a shared household account. Alex walks her through exactly where to start.

Schedule a vision date with your partner this week (or your future one — this still works solo). No spreadsheets. No numbers. Just dreams. Where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5, 10 years? Making it public makes it real.

Try Monarch (the app Becky mentioned): Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

Connect with us:

Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed discussions of pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant death, and postpartum depression.

After years of navigating PCOS and multiple IUI cycles, Kortney finally heard the words she’d prayed for: "You’re pregnant." But the joy of expecting twins, Kinsley and Cameron, was met with a terrifying reality at her 20-week scan. Her cervix had opened, and her pregnancy shifted into a crisis no parent is prepared for.

In this episode, Kortney walks us through the delivery of her twins at 21 weeks, the "Cuddle Cot" that gave her precious time with them, and the grueling path through IVF to bring her daughter and son home years later. This is a raw look at grief, the "redemption" of a healthy birth, and learning that joy and loss can coexist.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses parental alcoholism, child neglect, suicide attempts, and graphic descriptions of traumatic death.

In this episode, Starr sits down with me to pull back the curtain on a childhood where "home" was never a synonym for "safe." For Starr, life was a constant exercise in "second nature" awareness—learning to read the room before the day even unfolded to see which version of her mother she was going to get.

From witnessing a traumatic police intervention before the age of three to watching her mother jump from a second-story balcony, Starr’s story is a raw look at the "Jekyll and Hyde" reality of loving an addict. We discuss the heavy burden of being an emotional caretaker for a parent, the complicated "relief" that comes with a traumatic loss, and the "gut punch" of finding her mother’s secret journals a year after her death—words that finally answered the "why" Starr had been carrying her entire life. Today, Starr is focused on breaking the cycle, prioritizing peace, and navigating the terrifying path of becoming the mother she never had.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

SAMHSA’s National Helpline (Substance Abuse): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA): adultchildren.org

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Most of us treat our credit cards like a safety net, but as Alex points out, the average household is actually trapped under $17 trillion in national debt. Becky gets vulnerable this week, admitting to a peak of $30,000 in credit card debt and the "vicious cycle" of consolidating balances just to rack them up again. If you’ve ever looked at your banking app through your fingers, this one is for you.

The Solution: Alex (The Expert) breaks down the "High Interest Killer"—debts at 7-8% or higher that cost you more than the stock market could ever make you. We break down the two heavy-hitters of payoff strategy:

The Snowball: Paying the smallest balances first for that emotional "win".The Avalanche: Tackling high-interest rates first to save the most money mathematically.

CTA: We’re challenging you to find just $5 extra this week to put toward your smallest debt—prove to the bank that you are the boss of that dollar!

Connect with us:

Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses fatal car accidents, drunk driving, and graphic descriptions of loss.

In August 2023, Brooke’s life was shattered. Her husband, Shawn, was killed in a head-on collision by a drunk driver with a BAC of 0.28 while on his way to work.

What followed was a harrowing journey through a legal system that Brooke feels hands victims a "life sentence" while the responsible party receives only a fraction of that time. From identifying Shawn by surgical screws in his ankle to facing the driver who was once a face on her own Facebook feed, Brooke’s story is a raw look at the cost of a "choice". Today, she is fighting to change DUI laws and keeping Shawn’s memory alive through "Shine for Shawn".

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD): madd.org

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses miscarriage and the emotional toll of pregnancy loss.

"I just wanna kiss a girl. I would never date one." That was the internal narrative Jean Kupers held until she met her wife, Allie. Growing up in a small town with rigid gender roles and "wacko" but liberal-leaning parents, Jean’s path to motherhood was anything but traditional. From the clinical coldness of IVF to the devastating loss of their first female embryo, this episode is a raw look at what it means to build a family with intention when biology doesn't do the heavy lifting.

Jean opens up about the "non-birthing partner struggle"—the fear that the lack of a genetic or physical connection would create a barrier between her and her son, Carson. We dive deep into the controversial world of sperm donors, the "father" typo on a birth certificate that sparked an identity crisis, and why Jean is choosing a different path (IUI) for baby number two. This isn't just a story about being queer; it's a story about the universal anxiety of wondering: Will I be enough?

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is your phone giving you a "pit in your stomach" every time you check your bank balance? You aren't alone—53% of Americans couldn't cover a $1,000 emergency with savings.

In this episode of Wallet Therapy, Becky admits she’s been "driving through a rainstorm without windshield wipers" , while Alex explains why a Starter Emergency Fund is actually your most important "insurance policy for your sanity". We’re breaking down the "Starter" vs. "Fully Funded" approach, why you need to move your money to a separate High-Yield Savings Account (HYSA) to stop impulse spending , and why building this fund is actually a higher priority than paying off your credit cards.

In this episode, we discuss:

The 3-Question Test: How to tell if a "70% off blazer" or a "Vegas birthday trip" is actually an emergency (Spoiler: They aren’t) .The "Out of Sight" Strategy: Why your savings needs to live at a completely different bank than your checking account.Financial Whack-A-Mole: Why it’s actually a win when your emergency fund hits zero because of a vet bill or a dead microwave.The "F-You" Money Goal: Transitioning from a $1,000 starter fund to a fully-fledged 3–12 month "warm blanket" of security.

Your Homework: Open a separate savings account today (it’s free!) and transfer your first $5 into it—even if you have to find it in your couch cushions.

Connect with us:

Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains deep discussions of multiple family losses, terminal cancer, and the sudden death of a spouse.

"Wait, that’s not what was supposed to happen." Those were the words Brittany told me when reflecting on the loss of her father—the "healthy" parent who was supposed to be her rock. She didn't know then that it was only the beginning of a five-year window that would claim four of the most important people in her life, ending with the sudden loss of her husband and best friend in September 2024.

Now a single mother of two, Brittany sits down with me to pull back the curtain on what it actually looks like to carry "shattered pieces" while trying to be a whole person for your children. This isn't a story about "getting over it"—it's a raw look at emotional survival when the world stops turning, but the clock keeps ticking.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 

🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

GriefShare Support Groups: griefshare.org

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.