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Parenting Beyond Discipline

Parenting Beyond Discipline

Erin Royer, LA's go-to expert on all things parenting and child development for today?s common challenges, covers way more than just discipline. She dives into topics such as self-esteem, development and health, modern parenting issues and even education. Erin is not just knowledgeable but also relatable, warm, and sometimes even funny. https://www.yourvillageonline.com

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Episodes

#257: Not Listening, Aggression, Misbehaviors & Poor Choices

A 6 year old is really struggling with a lot of different mis-behaviors like not listening, aggression, and making poor choices and both the parents and his nanny are wondering how to help him through these trouble spots, especially at specific times of day when he seems to struggle the most. Erin covers some great foundation work as well specific tips for helping this young boy work on slowing down and making better choices when he gets overwhelmed and upset. In addition Erin shares her latest parenting struggle she had, how she handled it and why she handled it in that manner. Tune in to get some great tips from this episode!



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2021-10-14
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#256: Help! My Child Is Lacking Discipline!

How do you help your young child learn to follow rules and expectations in school when you aren't there? A dad feels in over his head in helping his daughter make better choices when he's not there to guide her. Erin gives some great insight into this issue, guidance and ideas for making this situation better for everyone, including discerning when the issue at hand is not all due to the child and how to address both sides of this important issue.



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2021-10-08
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#255: Do You Ever Feel Overwhelmed?

Some days parenting is just overwhelming. Some days life is just overwhelming. If you have difficult days with either, let alone both at that same time, you are not alone. Erin had a very overwhelming week both in parenting and life, feeling like she was failing at both. She shares her coping strategies both with managing and overcoming feeling overwhelmed whether it's parenting related or not.



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2021-10-01
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#254: Teaching Kids About Happy Money with Ken Honda

Money is such a taboo subject in so many families. We all have our own hangup around money, be they societal, familial or both. How can we have a more positive feeling towards finances and money? How do we teach our kids to have a better, more positive outlook and relationship with money than we likely do or did now or in early adulthood? Ken Honda is a best-selling author in Japan. His latest book is called "Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money" Erin absolutely loves his teaching in this arena and is excited to have him share his insights with the Parenting Beyond Discipline audience.



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2021-09-24
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#253: Discipline Tools Not Working with Strong-Willed Toddler

What tools should you use with a toddler who tries to push their will for having things own way? The ways we use the tools or the tactics our toddlers try can often render a tool ineffective, or less effective. Erin gives step by step guide to setting boundaries and rules with respect and love that will be followed and using tools to their highest effectiveness.



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2021-09-17
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#252: Helping Kids with Big Changes

All parents want to provide their kids with as stable an upbringing as possible, especially if they didn't have that growing up. But life is full of changes big and small. How do we support kids through these changes like moves, new schools and especially divorce? What are options and compromises we can do to make these as smooth and stress-free as possible for our kids? Erin covers areas to focus on when we have big changes to guide our children through to make sure they come through the other side, not just ok, but able to build resilience from the experience. It's such an important life skill and supports their ability to live a happy and successful life.



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2021-09-10
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#251: Supporting Children's Mental Health with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

Mental health challenges in children has been on the rise for some time and the pandemic has only magnified it for many kids. Sometimes dis-regulated behavior in actually toddlers, young children and teens is actually due to mental health struggles. How can you know the difference, when to reach for outside help and how to support your child through it and build skills for resilience in life's challenges? In this episode, Erin interviews Dr. Beurkens leading holistic psychologist for answers to these questions.



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2021-09-03
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#250: Very Controlling Preschooler

What do you do when your preschooler wants to be in charge of everything? Wants to have control even over things that are out of his realm of ability to manage and decide? Erin answers this mom's question about working with a 4 year old who wants to have control over everything and pushes back when he doesn't have control.



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2021-08-27
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#249: Strong Willed Toddler Tactics

Toddlers have a gift for finding our weaker spots when it comes to getting power and undue attention. Different parents have different areas of struggle, be it meals/food, potty training but especially bedtimes and middle of the night wake-ups, when we're exhausted and much more likely to give in. In this episode Erin talks about steps for setting strong boundaries around power these common problem areas, especially middle of the night wake-ups where strong willed toddlers may engage in screaming and crying tactics. Whether you have a middle of the night or bedtime issue or another common power struggle you need some guidance and steps to resolve, tune in to this episode!



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2021-08-22
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#248: Common Gender & Birth Order Differences

Personal temperament is only one contributing factor to personality differences. While not every child is going to follow common birth order or gender developmental and personality characteristics, most will to at least some degree. Understanding what these differences are and why they happen can greatly aid you in parenting your individual child. If you are curious to learn more about these, this is the episode for you!



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2021-08-14
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#247: Big Physical Reactions to Big Emotions

Big emotions in young children often mean big reactions, and often times they are even physical in nature. How do you help your toddler or younger child learn better ways when they have big physical reactions to their big emotions? Erin answers this question specifically for a mom who's toddler is banging his head in response to big emotions but also shares a broader perspective and answer for any parent dealing with big physical reactions to emotions.



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2021-08-06
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#246: The Journey Beyond Toddlerhood

Erin goes beyond toddlerhood in this episode, sharing with parents of toddlers and older kids alike, what we are working towards and focusing in the years beyond toddlerhood as our children's development and unique qualities really begin to unfold and blossom.



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2021-07-30
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#245: Big Emotions, Hiding Emotions, Adult Emotions? How to Help

Erin dives deep into emotions, both for our kids and our own, to give and do our best to help our kids and ourselves become the most emotionally intelligent versions of ourselves. She talks about kids who clam up and don't like to share or talk about emotions as well as those with bigger-than-life reactions and how to work with both, as well as how we as adults can keep working on our own emotional intelligence. It's a lifelong practice and as we get better and better, we are better role models and have more skills to help guide our children as well! Win-win!



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2021-07-25
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#244: I Don't Always Have The Right Answer Either

In this episode Erin shares a dilemma she faced about how to handle a situation with her daughter, sharing with her listeners how sometimes parenting is convoluted and complicated just like all human relationships. She shares what she weighed in her mind as she did her best to make what she hoped would be the best choice for her daughter. She hopes this inside look into her relationship and her own mind will be both helpful and a relief to her listeners who sometimes worry they might be doing something "wrong".



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2021-07-09
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#243: How to Avoid Power Struggles with Young Toddlers

A mom wants to know how to avoid power struggles and set a strong foundation for connection and communication even with her very young (9 month old) daughter, since a lot of the positive discipline tools cannot be implemented this early. Is it possible? What should she do to stay out of a power struggle over things her baby shouldn't be doing, trying or getting into? She doesn't want to make a game out of it. Erin shares tools parents can use, even with babies who are just starting to become mobile, but also are great for toddlers, preschoolers and any young child who is struggling with boundaries. Even though babies and young toddlers likely cannot yet talk, or share ideas or wants, there is a lot they can understand and therefore some great tools you can implement to stay out of the struggles.



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2021-07-02
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#242: Different Parenting Styles & Relieving Parental Guilt

What do you do when you and your parenting partner have different parenting styles? Although this question comes from a divorced mom, Erin answers this question for any parents, living together or not on how to build bridges and come together and when to allow each other to parent differently. Then she covers how to address parental guilt, because we all have it, regardless of our circumstances, we always feel like we are falling short somewhere, somehow.



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2021-06-26
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#241: 3-Year-Old Getting Aggressive During Play Dates

A mom has been diligently working with her almost 3 year old on his social skills for play date interactions. Yet her son is still struggling with some aggressive reactions when things don't go his way. With some great information and descriptions, Erin covers this topic and then finds some simple tweaks this mom can make to really turn these interactions around and give her son that little extra instruction that can really turn this situation around.



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2021-06-17
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#240: Aggression Towards Younger Sibling & Attention to Negative Behavior

A mom wants to know how to handle it when her 3 year old responds aggressively towards his toddler younger brother without making the attention to the unwanted behavior feel like it's rewarding the behavior. Erin discusses this common toddler challenge but also brings in some new information and perspective on this common issue, in a way she hasn't shared before.



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2021-06-11
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#239: Morning Power Struggle

If you are dealing with power struggles any time of day, this is the episode for you. Erin covers some specific tips for this hour-long morning power struggle with which a mom is dealing. Then she covers some great tips and guidelines for solving almost any common power struggle!



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2021-06-05
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#238: Overwhelming Preschooler Behavior

What do you do when you are simply overwhelmed with your preschooler's behavior? How can you get this turned around so that you can have better days? Erin starts with some really important basics like working with high needs babies & kids, addressing temperament and four easy to implement positive discipline tools to get things turned around quickly!



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2021-05-28
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#237: Understanding Toddler Interactions & Tips for Better Behavior

Toddlers do strange things. These things seem outright rude, disrespectful and mean. But what are they really thinking? Learn about what toddlers are really thinking about when engage in these behaviors and how you can help them learn to do better.



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2021-05-21
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#236: Short Term vs. Long Term Parenting Tips & Tools

There are times when short term parenting is the best option and times when long term is the focus. Learn what your long term focuses are at each at each stage of development and therefore how to best balance the long term and short term parenting.



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2021-05-14
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#235: Extreme Separation Anxiety

A mom is worried that her young toddlers more pronounced separation anxiety may be causing more harm than good when she leaves him at daycare/preschool. Erin gives great information on development at his age and how it can weigh the decision of how to best handle this case of separation anxiety, along with a progression of steps to help this little guy gain the security he needs to thrive more independently.



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2021-05-07
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#234: Working Through Parental Guilt

We ALL experience parental guilt over one area or another where we feel like we might be falling short (aka being imperfect or human!) How do we allow ourselves to be OK with our life circumstances, allow our kids to struggle at times or not be 100% perfectly tuned in all the time and let go of the guilt? Erin answers a question for a mom dealing with mom guilt over her single parenthood status. Erin also shares some of her struggles with mom guilt over these same issues of not always being 100% available, over pushing her kids hard sometimes to do things they don't want to do, and over her own divorce.



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2021-04-30
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#233: When You Have One High Needs Child & One Mellow and Kids Push Us Out of Our Comfort Zone

What do you do when you have one very high needs/high maintenance child and one very easy going child? How do you make sure the mellow child gets his/her needs met if they are so quiet and the other is so demanding of attention? Erin covers the tips, pitfalls and ways to make sure your quieter child gets his/her needs met. Then a question that brings up what to do when toddlers & kids behave in ways that push us out of our comfort zone. The particular questions is about a toddler who seems insistent on touching his private parts. Children will often behave in ways that make us uncomfortable or push us to our brink. How can we prepare for this as parents and face these areas of struggle at least enough that we pass on as little as possible to our children? Listen and find out!



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2021-04-24
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#232: When Kids Need Too Much Control & Lying

What do you do with a child who is constantly trying to control everything? Or even just anything that isn't meant for them to control? All toddlers and preschoolers want some level of control (and tweens/teens is another push) and often times it's more than is really warranted. It's not even uncommon for young children to try to control siblings and even parents, where they go, what they do, "Mom stop singing." Or telling friends and siblings what or how to play. How do you work with a child who seems to need way too much control? The second question is about working with kids on lying. How to teach honest telling and setting boundaries and expectations around honesty by age and without shaming.



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2021-04-16
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#231: Fixing 'Misbehaviors', Nighttime vs. Daytime Parenting, Siblings Sharing Room & Steps for Introducing Change

Erin covers A LOT in this one episode. Erin dives deep into a question about misbehavior in some different ways than before. She discusses respectful parenting - what it is and what it is not, nighttime parenting versus daytime parenting, tips for moving siblings into the same room and tips for introducing change to kids. Phew! That's a lot of topics in one episode!



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2021-04-12
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#230: Helping Kids with Anxiety & Fears & New Positive Parenting Tool

Do you find your toddler, child or teen dealing with fears and/or anxiety and aren't sure how to help them? In this episode, Erin talks about what are normal fears and anxieties in children and how steps and tips for helping children work through these common emotions, as well as when to seek outside assistance. Then Erin covers a new tool for toddlers to teens that can decrease meltdowns, tantrums and power struggles and helps build an even stronger bond and connection for parents and children.



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2021-04-01
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#229: Should We Quiz Our Toddlers/Kids? & Overcoming Negative Family Patterns

Some things we do as parents seem fun, but can something seemingly innocuous be a detriment to our child's development of their full and unique selves? Erin discusses a post from a fellow parenting expert that really got parents talking, some agreeing and many disagreeing with the post. Erin weighs in with her thoughts on whether or not their are detriments to quizzing our young children. Then Erin answer several questions in one from parents asking about breaking negative family patterns from their own upbringing, with steps for working towards better family connection and communication to overcome any areas of concern from their own upbringing.



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2021-03-25
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#228: Is it OK to Teach a Child to Say "No" to Parents/Adults?

Erin answers a question about can we teach our toddlers/kids to say "no" to us? If so, how do we go about doing this so that they can learn to do it appropriately and respectfully, especially with toddlers? Then Erin talks about ADHD, the signs and symptoms, when and how to get an assessment, other things of which to be aware, treatment options, and the positives of ADHD (and reframing any diagnosis) with a new lens for what different ways of experiencing and interacting with the world can bring for us all.



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2021-03-18
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#227: What is "Normal" and What is Not?

Big meltdowns? Big power struggles? We know toddlers can behave irrationally as can preschoolers. How much is normal? How much is too much? When should they outgrow this? At what point should a parent consider assessments and outside intervention to get their child back on track? Erin covers what a "normal" meltdowns and tantrums and when things, even with the most emotionally sensitive of children, should greatly improve. If not, when and how to get your child assessed for issues that can lead to bigger behavioral challenges.



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2021-03-12
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#226: Big Feelings & Big Meltdowns & Self Compared to Child

Erin gives great insights and tips into a 6 1/2 year old's big meltdowns and feelings. Is it normal at 6 1/2? What can this mom do to help her child learn to calm down easier and better and work through these big feelings? This question segues perfectly into the discussion about our own temperamental traits versus our children's and how to recognize them, understand them and then be ready to help our child shape the areas where they have challenges.



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2021-03-09
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#225: New Discipline Tool & High Needs Baby/Toddler/Child

Erin shares a BRAND new discipline tool she's never talked about before that can help circumvent power struggles. Then she discusses high needs babies (toddlers & children) What we mean by 'high-needs' the five traits and what they look like in high-needs and therefore why parenting a young child with this personality type can be so stressful along with tips for working with your high needs baby/toddler so that by childhood (age 5-6 and beyond) the positives of these traits can shine through.



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2021-03-05
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#224: Moving to a Toddler Bed & Parents Set the Family Foundation

How do you know the right time to move to a toddler bed? When it is a good time what is the best way to go about it to minimize the crazy bedtime chase or power struggle to stay in bed? Learn some great tips for dealing with this milestone. Then Erin shares her wisdom and insights for setting a family foundation that benefits everyone, not just the kids at the parents' expense.



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2021-03-03
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#223: Infants, Preschoolers, School-Age Back to School & Daycare & Tween Emotions

For many young children they have now been home almost 24/7 with parents for their entire lives, as far as they remember. That's a lot of bonding time, but also can present more challenges with a getting used to daycare and preschool. Some school age kids may have their challenges when it comes to going back to in-person learning. Erin shares tips for smoother transition into or back to daycare and schools. Then Erin shares some of the special challenges of parenting a tween.



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2021-02-27
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#222: Parents Aren't Supposed to Be Perfect

We parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do things perfectly, or at least extremely well. But it's OK to make misjudge and make a wrong call. We make mistakes and we learn and we grown. But what do we do when we've potentially misjudged, and set the boundary strongly? Is there ever a time and a way to gracefully back out without setting ourselves up to be mowed over every time we set a boundary? Erin shares guidelines and tips for working through these exact scenarios!



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2021-02-20
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#221: No Cry Middle of The Night Tips & Ignoring vs. Correcting Toddler Behaviors

Erin shares her tips for a dad who wants to know if there is a way to fix the middle of the night wakeups with a no cry solution. Next Erin gives guidelines and tips about when to ignore versus when to correct toddler behavior.



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2021-02-11
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#220: Teaching Body Autonomy & Outside Influences on Parenting

What do you do when your preschooler/child insists on touching others uninvited? Erin gives several guidelines and tools for teaching body autonomy and respect in both directions, giving and receiving. Next, what do we do about outside influences that are different from our parenting values and goals, such as day-cares, schools or grandparents? When should we be concerned and how do we best handle those scenarios?



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2021-02-04
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#219: Getting Toddlers & Kids to Listen & Follow Directions

Not many people are good at apologies. In this episode, Erin shares some personal experiences around apologies and how to teach and give proper apologies between both adults and children. Then Erin answers a question for a family who's really struggling with their preschooler listening and following direction and expectations. How do they fix the bad habits they've fallen into to get back on track with fewer power struggles and more peace and cooperation?



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2021-01-30
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#218: Eliminating Power Struggles

This is episode is a must-listen, chalk full of tips on minimizing power struggles in your home! Toddlers and kids in general will often grab for power where they can. Why do they do this? Erin covers the common reasons and ways to fix that to minimize power struggles and then steps to disengaging and taking control over common struggles including some common pitfalls in dealing with common struggles over bedtimes and mealtimes as examples.



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2021-01-21
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#217: Big Struggles with Perfectionism & Frustration Tolerance

What do you do when your child is constantly struggling with reactions to life not going perfectly their way? Playing the martyr and lots of tears when they get corrected over the smallest things? In this week's episode Erin gives lots of tips for a family dealing with just these types of over-reactions.



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2021-01-15
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#216: Keeping Sane Parenting into 2021 & Sleep Train while Co-Sleeping

2020 was one doozy of a year and many of the remnants are following us into the start of 2021. Erin shares her message of care and hope for weary parents heading into 2021 and tips for getting our feet underneath us and moving forward. Then a new sleep question about can you sleep train while co-sleeping? Erin shares a calm/peaceful method for bedtime and nighttime weaning that can help parents get their babies/toddlers off of feeding as a sleep association.



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2021-01-10
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#215: Let's Talk About Being a Parent & Parenting in 2021 & Helping a Child Who Gives Up Easily

2020 was definitely a difficult and unprecedented year. Erin looks back on how she got through as a parent and a person and shares thoughts about how she will move forward into 2021. Then she answers a question from a mom about how to help her child who seems to give up so easily on everything. Perseverance is a trait that definitely contributes to success so how can she help her develop more perseverance? Erin shares many ideas and tips for supporting children through this process.



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2020-12-31
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#214: Fixing Difficult Behaviors & Parenting in a Pandemic

Erin goes back to basics on how kids and parents shape each other's behavior, it's basically a 101 on dealing with those trouble spots and power struggles, be their bedtimes, middle-of-the-night issues, mealtimes, or major meltdowns. Learn about how children learn to find our weak spots and how to circumvent. Then Erin addresses the stresses parents are under during this ongoing pandemic with more tips and some relieving statistics about how our children are doing to relieve parental concerns.



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2020-12-26
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#213: Overindulgence & Morning Routine Is It Spoiling or Not?

Overindulgence is a lot more than too many toys or sweets. During this pandemic, overindulgence is sometimes a daily necessity but a fine line, how do we walk this line? Then Erin answers a question that perfectly fits with the topic, is a family's morning routine a form of overindulging and if so, how should they go about making the shift?



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2020-12-18
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#212: What to Do When a Child Uses Hurtful Words

How do you stay calm and coach your child when they are using hurtful words? Erin covers what to do in the moment, as well as 4 step process to use in teaching your child better ways of sharing feelings rather than angry mean words.



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2020-12-14
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#211: Common Parenting Anxiety & How to Deal with It

We all have parenting anxiety over one thing or another throughout parenthood, but likely over many things! Currently, there is likely a lot more parenting anxiety than ever before. Erin shares her experience with her own parenting anxiety and her wisdom for how she's dealt with it in the past and currently.



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2020-12-05
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#210: Helping Shy Toddler with Social Skills & Reasoning with Children

A mom wants to know how to help her very shy toddler become more comfortable in social situations. Erin covers the social development at 2 along with tips for working with shy children. Next Erin talks about when and how to reason with children and how this can help circumvent power struggles.



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2020-11-26
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#209: Dealing with Toddlerhood Fears

Does your toddler have fears? Toddlers often have big reactions that seem irrational. How do you know when and what is normal for fears in toddlerhood and what is over the top and may require some intervention? Erin answers a mom's specific question around this as well as addresses the topic in a broad format for any/all parents wondering about their toddler's fears.



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2020-11-19
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#208: Middle of the Night Battles & Needy Behavior

Erin gives a mom step-by-step for fixing those pesky middle of the night wake-ups and battles for coming to mom and dad's room. In the second half Erin covers tips for helping a preschooler become more independent when she is constantly seeking attention every time mom is busy with something else.



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2020-11-12
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