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Dan Harris is a fidgety, skeptical journalist who had a panic attack on live national television, which led him to try something he otherwise never would have considered: meditation. He went on to write the bestselling book, 10% Happier. On this show, Dan talks with eminent meditation teachers, top scientists, and even the odd celebrity. Guests include everyone from His Holiness the Dalai Lama to Brené Brown to Karamo from Queer Eye. On some episodes, Dan ventures into the deep end of the pool, covering subjects such as enlightenment and psychedelics. On other episodes, it?s science-based techniques for issues such as anxiety, productivity, and relationships. Dan's approach is seemingly modest, but secretly radical: happiness is a skill you can train, just like working your bicep in the gym. Your progress may be incremental at first, but like any good investment, it compounds over time.
Today?s episode looks at one of the hardest Buddhist principles to grasp? the notion that the self is an illusion. Many people get stuck on the misunderstanding that they don?t exist. They look in the mirror and say, ?Of course I exist. I?m right there.? And that?s true, you do exist, but just not in the way you think you do.
Today?s guest, Jay Garfield explores this notion by arguing that you are indeed a person just not a self? a principle that can simultaneously feel both imponderable and liberating.
Jay Garfield is the Doris Silbert Professor in the Humanities and Professor of Philosophy, Logic, and Buddhist Studies at Smith College and a visiting professor of Buddhist philosophy at Harvard Divinity School. He is the Author of multiple books, including his latest, which is called, Losing Ourselves: Learning to Live without a Self.
In this episode we talk about:The difference between a person and a selfThe problems with being taken by the illusion of selfhoodWhy he believes the illusion of self is not an evolutionary design flawThe many benefits of ?losing ourselves?How to actually lose ourselvesThe concept of InterconnectionHis definition of real happinessThe difference between pain and suffering and how to have the former without the latter
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jay-garfield-487
Since the start of COVID-19, more people are working from home, and with that, more people have strong opinions about whether or not it?s the best route to take.
In today?s episode, Malcolm Gladwell responds to recent backlash over why he believes that working in an office?and the collaborative creative environment it can offer?is in your best interest (and in the interest of others). We also dive deep into some of the important themes featured in the seventh season of his podcast Revisionist History, including: kindness, generosity, and sacrifice. And, Dan and Gladwell share their biggest mistakes as journalists.
Malcolm Gladwell is the president and co-founder of Pushkin Industries, and the author of six New York Times bestselling books including The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, David and Goliath, and Talking to Strangers. He?s also the host of the new Pushkin podcast Legacy of Speed.
In this episode we talk about:The backlash Malcolm faced from his work from home comments Pushing the noise aside when it comes to social media Lessons in kindness from a recent Revisionist History episodeThe importance of flow statesHow he personally relaxes Why people should have a lifelong pursuit or practiceWhat he thinks now about his famous 10,000 hours argumentWhy we need to engage and investigate the views of others to be morally alert as human beingsHis biggest journalistic mistake
Content Warning: Brief mention of eating disorders.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/malcolm-gladwell-486
Bringing mindfulness to walking is an opportunity to build awareness and relax the mind as you move about your day.
About Alexis Santos:
Alexis Santos is a featured teacher on the Ten Percent Happier app and has been in the field of mindfulness and meditation since 2001. He has been a long-time student of Sayadaw U Tejaniya, with whom he ordained as a Buddhist monk, and has taught at retreat centers around the globe.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Everyday Natural Walking,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=adef9231-650a-4853-ab5b-bcf476ac21a7.
Oftentimes Buddhism can take a tough love, no nonsense approach to happiness by saying, if you want to be happier, sometimes you need to face hard truths.
In today's episode we?re going to talk about a Buddhist list called The Three Characteristics. These are the three non-negotiable truths about reality, which you have to see and understand in order to be happy. Granted, when looked at from a certain angle, these truths, or characteristics of reality can suck at times. But do you want to see the truth of things or not? Do you want to be happier or not?
Our guide through these three characteristics is the mighty Mushim Patricia Ikeda. Mushim has a background in both monastic and lay Buddhist practice and is a core teacher and community director at the East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland, California. This is her second appearance on the show.
Content Warning: This episode briefly mentions child loss.
In this episode we talk about:The three characteristics, alternatively known as the three Dharma sealsOur conflicted relationship to change Our brain?s tendency to focus on the negativePractices that can help with handling change more effectivelyHow not taking your thoughts so personally can build your resilienceAnd why Mushim believes that universal non-discriminating love is synonymous with Nirvana
These days, the word mindfulness has become a buzz phrase but very often people don?t know what the word actually means, much less how to practice it. One simple definition of mindfulness is the ability to see what?s happening in your mind without getting carried away by it. The benefits of doing so are vast and profound? from decreased emotional reactivity to being more awake to what?s actually happening in your life.
Today's guest Joseph Goldstein talks about a classic Buddhist list called the four foundations of mindfulness, which lays out various techniques for developing mindfulness within your practice.
Goldstein is one of the premier western proponents of Mindfulness. He co-founded the legendary Insight Meditation Society alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. He also wrote a book called Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening.
In this episode we talk about:The historical context for the four foundations of mindfulness Why he thinks the Buddha loved listsWhy the Buddha placed mindfulness of the body first on the listThe steps to mastering mindfulness of the bodyThe meaning of the word embodied and how that?s different from our usual mode of being in the worldHow and why to do walking meditationsWhat are feeling tones and why are they importantPractices for cultivating mindfulness of mindAnd we talk about some of the mantras that Joseph uses when teaching
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-483
Cultivating what?s good in us helps during times of both abundance and adversity. In fact, it?s when times are hard that we need it the most.
About Kaira Jewel Lingo
Kaira Jewel Lingo was an ordained nun for 15 years in Thich Nhat Hanh?s Order of Interbeing. She's now a lay dharma teacher based on Long Island. She graduated from Stanford University with a B.A. and an M.A. in anthropology and social sciences. She?s also the author of the book We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons on Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Growing the Good,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=5e3aaefe-3a96-40a4-ad6a-1c41c9b9754d.
There are so many benefits to mindfulness with one of the biggest being the cultivation of more self-awareness. This cultivation can lead to identifying the unhelpful mental habits that can develop over the years.
Today we?re going to talk to Carol Wilson who offers very clear and practical ways that Buddhist meditation can help us turn down the volume on our unproductive mental habits and be less reactive.
Wilson is a guiding teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, where for many years she has taught their annual three-month retreat. She began her insight meditation practice in 1971 in India and in the 1980s she spent a year in Thailand as a Buddhist nun.
In this episode we talk about:How to be mindful throughout the dayThe concept of 360 degree awarenessNoticing when one experiences wanting or aversion Why Wilson believes that the root of suffering comes from making it all about usHow seeing torment can help us experience freedom from the selfThe benefits of reflecting on your past acts of generosity Bringing awareness to your motivationsAnd doing a gratitude practice regularly to change the weather pattern in your mind
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carol-wilson-481
Many of us may have a reflexive reaction when we notice we?re feeling down: we want it to go away. Maybe we think something is wrong with us and we automatically self medicate in any number of ways. But how do we square this with the fact that many of us may also really like sad movies and music? And making things even more complex, how do we compute the fact that the universe is constantly handing us opportunities to feel awe, gratitude, and joy, often at the exact same moment that sadness arises?
What?s going on with this complex and conflicted relationship we have with a perfectly normal human emotion?
Our guest today Susan Cain has written a whole book about this called Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. In this book, she explores how the capacity to tune in to the inherent joy and sadness of the human situation can be a superpower for connection.
In this episode we talk about:Whether bittersweetness is a skill you can honeThe relationship between bittersweetness and the Buddhist concept of impermanenceWhy we feel embarrassed about discussing sorrow and longing How sadness can be transmuted into creativity, and how that creativity can lead us out of sadnessAnd how America, a country founded on so much heartache, turned into, in her words, ?a culture of normative smiles?
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-cain-480
Sharon teaches you a simple breathing technique to release tension and reduce the intensity of a painful experience.
About Sharon Salzberg:
A towering figure in the meditation world, Sharon Salzberg is a prominent teacher & New York Times best-selling author. She has played a crucial role bringing mindfulness and lovingkindness practices to the West.
Sharon co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield and is the author of nine books, including Lovingkindness, Real Happiness, and the most recent Real Love. Sharon lives in New York City and teaches around the world.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Breathing to Release Pain,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=9a2fee2c-a8ea-443c-bf4f-d4329f2eb2ef.
Sit in meditation for a few minutes and you?re likely to experience pain, either physical or psychological. Hang around the meditation scene for very long, and you are likely to hear the expression, ?Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.?
And that?s what this episode is all about? boosting your pain tolerance through meditation. Because pain really is inevitable, but can you reduce your suffering through mindfulness and compassion?
Our guest today, Christiane Wolf, argues ?yes?. She is a physician turned mindfulness and compassion teacher and teacher trainer. She is an authorized Buddhist teacher in the Insight (Vipassana) meditation tradition, teaching classes and retreats worldwide, and she?s also the author of ?Outsmart Your Pain: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion to Help You Leave Chronic Pain Behind.
In this episode we talk about:Meditation techniques that offer us a better relationship to painHow to work with the physicality of painThe stories we tell ourselves about our painAnd seeing pain as an opportunity
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christiane-wolf-rerun
We all have long-standing painful patterns of behavior or inner storylines that can cause us to react disproportionately or inappropriately to everyday events.
Today's guest, Dr. Radhule Weininger, has a term for this. She calls them longstanding recurrent painful patterns or LRPPs.
Weininger is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and teacher of Buddhist meditation and Buddhist psychology. She has a new book, Heart Medicine: How to Stop Painful Patterns and Find Peace and Freedom?at Last
In this episode we talk about:How to recognize a problematic pattern or when you?ve been ?lrpp-ed?Why Dr. Weininger believes that Buddhism and western psychology, when practiced together, can help us deal with these recurring patternsUnpacking the word traumaThe psychological term ?mismatch? and how it relates to childhood trauma or hurtHow to practice meditation in order to tolerate discomfort
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/radhule-weininger-478
Find freedom from obsessive loops of fear by getting grounded in the body, dropping the stories, and bringing some kindness to the struggle.
About Sebene Selassie:
Growing up, Sebene felt like a big weirdo. Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raised in white neighborhoods in Washington, D.C., she was a tomboy Black girl who loved Monty Python and UB40. She never believed she belonged. Thirty years ago, she began studying Buddhism as an undergraduate at McGill University where she majored in Comparative Religious Studies. Now, Sebene is a teacher, author, and speaker who teaches that meditation can help us remember our inherent sense of belonging, that our individual freedom affects absolutely everyone and everything, and that our collective freedom depends on each and every one of us.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Loosening the Grip of Panic,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=cea1fa4d-882a-4b50-b966-20d97d08d84d.
Today we?re gonna tackle one of the best known contemplative clichés: being in the present moment and inhabiting the now.
The present moment seems to be a state we aspire towards, but are rarely given practical information about how to actually achieve. But today?s guest, Matthew Brensilver offers just that? practical information on how to achieve being present. We also explore his argument that when painful memories surface in meditation, it acts as a kind of exposure therapy that acclimates us to the things we may not want to face.
This is Matthew Brensilver?s second appearance on the show. He teaches retreats at the Insight Retreat Center, Spirit Rock and other Buddhist centers. Before committing to teach meditation full-time, he spent years doing research on addiction pharmacotherapy at the UCLA Center for Behavioral and Addiction Medicine. Matthew is the co-author of two books about meditation during adolescence and continues to be interested in the unfolding dialogue between Buddhism and science.
In this episode we talk about:What ?be present? actually meansWhat to do when Buddhist teachings or meditation instructions feel out of reach and when we start compulsively self-assessing against themWhat to do when a memory arises in meditation, especially a difficult memoryThe brain?s tendency toward constant predictionThe benefits of meditation retreatAnd distinguishing between true alarms and false alarms
Often, when you?re afraid of something, the best advice is deeply counterintuitive, not to mention inconvenient: to turn toward the source of your fear.
Today we?re going to talk about the fear of confronting your own past with our guest Sarah Polley.
Polley is an Oscar nominated filmmaker and actress who recently wrote a new book, called Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory. In her book, she explores the relationship between her past and present and how the two are in constant dialogue.
In this episode we talk about:The story of her concussion and the unusual advice she got from a specialist that became not just a path to recovery, but a sort of personal credo, ?run toward the danger?What we often do with our stories of childhood shame, and the immense power of talking about itHow she has come to stop seeing her anxiety as a stop signHer argument that the advice to ?listen to your body? is not always the best adviceThe liberating potential of intentionally making uncharacteristic decisionsHer path to meditation and her current practiceAnd the limits of her own ?run towards the danger? mantra
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sarah-polley-475
Expand and strengthen your understanding of awareness through an exploration of focused, investigative, and flexible awareness.
About Diana Winston:
Diana Winston is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center and the author of The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness. She has taught mindfulness since 1999 at hospitals, universities, corporations, nonprofits, and schools in the US and Asia. She developed the evidence-based Mindful Awareness Practices (MAPS) curriculum and the Training in Mindfulness Facilitation, which trains mindfulness teachers worldwide. She is also a founding board member of the International Mindfulness Teachers Association.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Exploring Awareness Three Ways,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=0445dec7-d4dc-4358-ad9f-87a7058eb4a6.
Depression is a debilitating problem both on an individual and a societal level and it has only gotten worse during the pandemic. According to the World Health Organization, depression is now one of the leading causes of disability on the planet.
Our guest today Dr. Samantha Boardman is going to talk about what she calls the opposite of depression? something called positive psychiatry. This approach focuses on the positive things in the lives of her patients rather than just the pathologies.
Boardman is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, which is also where she went to medical school and did her four year residency program. She later went back and got a Master?s degree in Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. She recently put out a book called Everyday Vitality: Turning Stress into Strength
In this episode we talked about:The 3 C?s (factors contributing to vitality)The notion that our understanding of happiness does not have to be internally orientedHow not all socializing is created equalWhy identifying your values is important The value of hobbiesThe flake factorAnd the value of failure
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/samantha-boardman-473
Anxiety has long been a massive societal issue that has spiked during the pandemic.
In this episode, renowned Buddhist monk Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche talks in detail about how he personally works with anxiety and panic and the practices he draws upon when dealing with these states.
Mingyur began doing long retreats in his teens and now teaches all over the world. He?s written the books The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness and In Love with the World: A Monk's Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying. He also oversees the Tergar Meditation Community, a global network of Buddhist meditation centers.
In this episode we talk about:Working with strong emotions using sound and the breathDeconstructing your reality to make it workableUnderstanding what awareness is in a Buddhist sense How to make meditation free-range and available to you all times The simple but also tricky advice of, ?stop doing and just be? When to take a step back or even take a break from meditationWhat Mingyur Rinpoche says is the true purpose of the practice.
This interview was recorded in person at the TED conference in April of 2022, where both Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and Dan Harris spoke.
Connecting with the universal world wide web of meditators expands your perspective and helps cultivate a deep feeling of belonging.
About Jeff Warren:
Jeff is an incredibly gifted meditation teacher. He's trained in multiple traditions, including with renowned teacher Shinzen Young. Jeff is the co-author of NY Times Bestseller "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," and the founder of the Consciousness Explorers Club, a meditation adventure group in Toronto. He has a knack for surfacing the exact meditation that will help everyone he meets. "I have a meditation for that" is regularly heard from Jeff, so we've dubbed him the "Meditation MacGyver."
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Symphony of Interconnection,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=1255a87a-5d7e-4736-9d6e-750e582f96f8.
In this episode, the social justice educator and activist Jacoby Ballard talks about a universal, or near universal, issue: anger. And, he offers us two mental skills that can help channel anger into something even more powerful and effective. Those skills are forgiveness and equanimity.
Ballard is a meditation and yoga teacher and the author of a new book called, A Queer Dharma: Yoga and Meditations for Liberation
Content Warnings: There are some brief references to sensitive topics, including trauma and suicide.
In this episode we talk about:How he went from an activist largely fueled by anger to a dharma teacher with a very different approachThe sometimes useful role of anger in activism and the danger of being stuck in anger modeThe subtle but powerful move of getting in touch with what is beneath our angerUsing annoyance as a jumping off point for inner investigationWays to work with anger and learning to discharge the energy in our body Forgiveness, including forgiving ourselvesGetting over our need to be rightEquanimity, or as Jacoby calls it, his ?tussle with equanimity?
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacoby-ballard-470
How, on this planet, did we go from molten lava and shifting tectonic plates to sentient beings? How are you awake and aware right now? Who and where and what exactly is the ?you? that is experiencing everything?
Guest Anil Seth says that exploring these questions can lead to real and radical changes in your life, including reducing your emotional reactivity.
Seth is a Professor of Cognitive and Computational Neuroscience at the University of Sussex, Co-Director of the Sackler Centre for Consciousness Science and Editor-in-Chief of Neuroscience of Consciousness. His TED Talk on consciousness has been viewed over 13 million times. Most recently, he is the author of Being You: A New Science of Consciousness.
In this episode we talk about:How brains give rise to consciousness The bundle theory of selfThe comfort in thinking of the self as impermanentA new way to think about emotional statesHow Seth?s personal experience with long COVID has changed his own sense of selfThe question of whether we have free willWhether machines can be conscious ? and whether we should be afraid of artificial intelligence
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/anil-seth-469
What and who are you? In this advanced exploration, you are invited to contemplate what is and isn?t definable about your identity.
About JoAnna Hardy:
JoAnna Hardy is an insight meditation (Vipassan?) practitioner and teacher. She is also on the faculty at the University of Southern California, a meditation trainer at Apple Fitness+, a founding member of the Meditation Coalition, a teacher's council member at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, and a visiting retreat teacher at Insight Meditation Society.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Exploring Identity,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=a40fbc27-1341-496e-978a-3e462fce5bc0.
One of the most common and insidious complaints of meditators is distraction, which can be a frustrating and difficult obstacle. Even the Buddha himself acknowledged this common problem and laid out some detailed practices for dealing with it.
In this episode, Shaila Catherine outlines the Buddha?s five strategies to help us tackle distractions, which can be applied to our meditation practice as well as other aspects of our lives.
Catherine is a dharma teacher whose latest book is called Beyond Distraction: Five Practical Ways to Focus the Mind. She is also the founder and principal teacher at Insight Meditation South Bay and has 40 years of practice, including nine years, cumulatively, of silent retreat. Her first TPH appearance, which we called How to Focus, aired in May 2021.
In this episode we talk about:The Buddha?s struggles with distractionShaila?s attempts to make the teachings of the Buddha accessible to contemporary mindsThe importance of getting to know your own thought patternsThe counterintuitive strategy of ?avoid it, ignore it, forget it?Replacing seduction with mindfulnessDeveloping a flexibility of mindWhy we?re vulnerable to our own tendencies when we?re not mindful
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shaila-catherine-467
It seems like a design flaw in our species that we live in a world of constant change yet most of us are not comfortable with uncertainty.
In this episode, we talk to Maya Shankar about how to get better at dealing with change and to stop seeking what scientists call ?cognitive closure.?
Shankar is a former Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She also served as the first Behavioral Science Advisor to the United Nations, and is currently a Senior Director of Behavioral Economics at Google. She is the host of the Pushkin Industries podcast A Slight Change of Plans, which was named Best Show of the Year in 2021 by Apple.
In this episode we talk about:Why humans are so uncomfortable with uncertainty and changeWhat a behavioral scientist actually does in the worldWhy even the host of a podcast about change isn?t immune to the uncertainties of life The benefits of cultivating a more malleable sense of selfWhy humans are such bad forecastersThe importance of auditing yourself when you?re undergoing a big changeHow to take advantage of big reset momentsThe concept of cognitive closure and why encouraging an open mind can make us more resilient
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/maya-shankar-466
Nourish yourself with some kindness and shift away from self-criticism towards accepting yourself fully, even your hardest parts.
About La Sarmiento:
La Sarmiento is the the guiding teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington's BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ Sanghas and a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program and for Cloud Sangha. They graduated from Spirit Rock Meditation Center's Community Dharma Leader Training Program in 2012. As an immigrant, non-binary, Filipinx-American, La is committed to expanding access to the Dharma. They live in Towson, MD with their life partner Wendy and rescue pups Annabel and Bader.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Dismantling Perfectionism, Accepting Yourself,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=dd701886-ad66-417a-b466-cdefb92ff5c8.
?The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.?
These words from the legendary Esther Perel have the power to genuinely change your outlook on life. But while it?s easy to hear them and immediately have your mind go to family relationships or romantic relationships, today we?re going to talk about friendships. Friendships can be massive contributors to mental health. They can also, when they go pear-shaped, be the source of abundant misery.
Today?s guest is the legendary Esther Perel. Her resume is beyond impressive: She is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of books such as Mating in Captivity. Her TED talk has attracted more than 30 million views. She is fluent in nine languages. She is the host of the popular podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How?s Work? And her latest project is called Where Should We Begin - A Game of Stories with Esther Perel.
In this episode we talk about:How the pandemic has impacted our friendshipsEsther?s contention that ?love and commitment and intimacy don?t just belong to the world of romantic couples?What makes friendship unique, in good ways and tricky waysWhat to consider when determining whether to confront a difficulty in a friendshipHow to conduct a self-assessment of yourself as a friendHow systematic we should be about cultivating and maintaining our friendshipsHow to reconnect with friends authenticallyWhether or not we can have platonic friendships across the gender spectrumHow to handle friendships when you?re in a romantic relationship, including friendships you share, friendships with those with whom your partner doesn?t get along, and friendships with exes
Content warning: There are some brief references to sensitive topics, including suicide.
*Esther Perel invites you and a colleague to apply for a session with her that will be part of the new season of her podcast How's Work? Her team is looking for work pairs, co-founders, colleagues, managers, or any combination to join her for a session to explore the future of work together. Apply here.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/esther-perel-464
Life is filled with all kinds of moral dilemmas? from the mundane to the momentous. Should I lie and tell my friend that I like her ugly shirt? Can I still enjoy great art if it was created by terrible people? How much money should I give to charity? Ultimately, does anything we do even matter?
In today?s conversation, television writer and producer, Michael Schur helps us to navigate our moral dilemmas and answer some of these difficult questions.
Schur is best known for creating and co-creating such shows as Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place, and Rutherford Falls. Additionally, he has worked on shows like The Office, Master of None, The Comeback, and Hacks. He is also the Author of How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question.
In this episode we talk about:What got him started on the road to reading philosophy and studying ethicsThe so-called ?trolley problem?Trusting your gutNatural states of virtueThe evolutionary advantages of virtueAnd how white lies can be beneficial in a complicated and messy society
This interview was recorded in person at the TED conference in April of 2022, where both Michael Schur and Dan Harris spoke.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/michael-schur-463
Build resilience for tough situations. Learn the tools to develop self-empathy, clarifying what matters to you most and how to move forward.
About Oren Jay Sofer:
Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfulness, meditation, and Nonviolent Communication in secular and Buddhist contexts. Oren has practiced meditation in the early Buddhist tradition since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India with Anagarika Munindra and Godwin Samararatne. He is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and a graduate of the IMS - Spirit Rock Vipassana Teacher Training, and current member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council.
Oren is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication, a practical guidebook for having more effective, satisfying conversations.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Self Empathy,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=c547f8dc-f150-464a-ba59-3131a4bf6944.
How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase, ?emotional intelligence? or EQ, entered the lexicon over 25 years ago, when Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name.
In this episode, Daniel Goleman talks about the four components of emotional intelligence and how we can develop these skills in our daily lives.
Golman is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg and Jon Kabat-Zinn, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s? making it a huge part of their lives and careers.
In this episode we talk about:The four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic Empathy and relationship management in the age of zoomThe ?marshmallow test? and impulse controlA phenomenon he calls, ?amygdala hijacks?Why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies got turned on to Buddhism
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/daniel-goleman-repost
It?s completely natural when dealing with anxiety, depression, anger, shame, or any other unpleasant emotion, to just want it to go away.
Guest Susan David says that these discomforts are the price of admission to being alive and offers an approach called emotional agility as a way to navigate them.
In this episode we talk about:Her definition of emotional agility The four skills of emotional agilityWhy she says our emotions are data, not directivesHow to move skillfully through a world that ?conspires against us seeing ourselves?How to avoid emotional ?fusion?The power of tiny tweaksAnd ?emotional granularity?? what it is, why it matters and how to practice it
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-david-461
Start focused on what's truly important. When you pause to remember the big picture, your day can move forward grounded in integrity & wisdom.
About Alexis Santos:
Alexis Santos is a featured teacher on the Ten Percent Happier app and has been in the field of mindfulness and meditation since 2001. He has been a long-time student of Sayadaw U Tejaniya, with whom he ordained as a Buddhist monk, and has taught at retreat centers around the globe.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Wake Up With Perspective,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=cb852965-67e4-4b4c-a2d0-c3765c3224bc.
The phrase, ?Get over yourself? is often used in a flippant way, but it?s actually speaking to a deep human need to get out of our heads and off our own backs. At a fundamental level, this is what Buddhism is all about? seeing through the illusion of the self, which can be the source of so much of our suffering.
In this episode guest Pascal Auclair talks about how we can unlock this suffering through the use of a foundational Buddhist list called the five aggregates.
Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of their guiding teachers.
In this episode we talk about:How the five aggregates got Auclair hooked on Buddhist practice and philosophyThe five aggregates as a way to work with difficultyLiving with the non-negotiable prospect of dyingPaying attention to pleasant, unpleasant and neutral feeling toneMeditation training as a way to understand that experiences are conditional
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pascal-auclair-459
Our culture has oddly conflicting views about pleasure.
In this episode, author adrienne maree brown explores the importance of pleasure and how it changes your experience of the world.
adrienne maree brown is the writer-in-residence at the Emergent Strategy Ideation Institute, and author of Grievers (the first novella in a trilogy on the Black Dawn imprint), Holding Change: The Way of Emergent Strategy Facilitation and Mediation, We Will Not Cancel Us and Other Dreams of Transformative Justice, Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds and the co-editor of Octavia?s Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements and How to Get Stupid White Men Out of Office. She is the cohost of the How to Survive the End of the World, Octavia?s Parables and Emergent Strategy podcasts. adrienne is rooted in Detroit.
In this conversation we talked about:What is pleasure activismThe role of sex and drugsWhy we should say yes moreHow to be in touch with our sense of ?enough?The role of gratitude The line between commitment and detachmentHow she defines authentic happinessHer self-description as ?a recovering self-righteous organizer,? and why self-righteousness actually leads to powerlessness
Content Warning: Discussions of sex and drugs.
Acknowledging the hard feelings that accompany procrastination can help you alleviate avoidance and accomplish the task at hand.
About Jay Michaelson:
Dr. Jay Michaelson is a Senior Content Strategist at Ten Percent Happier and the author of seven books on meditation, including his newest, Enlightenment by Trial and Error. In his ?other career,? Jay is a columnist for The Daily Beast, and was a professional LGBTQ activist for ten years. Jay is an ordained rabbi and has taught meditation in secular, Buddhist, and Jewish context for eighteen years.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Procrastination Medication,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=5d0ef603-6af6-4b9d-bc81-7920fbda1efa.
In a culture that values persistent productivity, one can be left feeling chronically behind.
In this episode, author and recovering time management junkie, Oliver Burkeman encourages us to stop scrambling to fit it all in by exploring the relationship between our mortality and getting things done.
Oliver Burkeman is the author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. Former guest Adam Grant has called it, ?The most important book ever written about time management.? This is Oliver?s second appearance on the show. Burkeman joined us on the show a few years ago to talk about his other book, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can?t Stand Positive Thinking. He also writes a bi-weekly email newsletter called The Imperfectionist.
In this conversation, we talk about:Why accepting mortality is a crucial step in improving our relationship to timeHis conviction that it?s not about being more efficient. It?s about knowing what to neglectPatience as a superpower and the impatience spiralThe benefits of burning bridgesBecoming a better procrastinatorThe benefits of restWhat he calls ?cosmic insignificance therapy?Practical tips, such as the ?fixed volume approach to productivity,? the value of serialization, and strategic underachievement.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/oliver-burkeman-456
Our guest this week is Alicia Menendez, an award-winning journalist, who finds herself in a common position for many women: caring way too much about what others think of her. Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likable, whatever that means. In the workplace strong women are often criticized for being cold, while warm women may be seen as pushovers. In her book, The Likeability Trap, and in this conversation, she discusses this issue and explains how and why both men and women should combat it.
In this conversation, we talk about:The aforementioned likability trapThe structural imbalance in feedback for women and men in the workplaceThe things for men to consider as they engage with women in the workplace
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/alicia-menendez-212
Tune in mindfully to help alleviate the pain of feeling unworthy and cultivate more compassion and joy for yourself.
About Diana Winston:
Diana Winston is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center and the other of The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness. She has taught mindfulness since 1999 at hospitals, universities, corporations, nonprofits, and schools in the US and Asia. She developed the evidence-based Mindful Awareness Practices (MAPS) curriculum and the Training in Mindfulness Facilitation, which trains mindfulness teachers worldwide. She is also a founding board member of the International Mindfulness Teachers Association.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Unworthiness,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=59c693e4-de4c-4e08-8eee-95fb36296938.
Sometimes part of healing trauma means learning how to be human.
This episode is the last episode of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. Dr. Jacob Ham, who was introduced in Stephanie Foo?s episode earlier this week, helped Stephanie through her case of complex PTSD and discusses how to live with the hardest things that have happened to you.
Dr. Ham is the Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience and Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. He sees children, youth, adults, and families across the age range and for a variety of issues.
In this episode we talk about:What Dr. Ham says may be the ?most important thing he?s discovered? as a therapistWhy he shuts down his clients? attempts to intellectualize their experiencesKairos versus kronos Why Dr. Ham says the Incredible Hulk is so important to himThe concept of mentalizationWhat it means to love exquisitelyAnd whether or not we have to learn to love ourselves before we can learn to love others
Content Warning: Explicit language.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacob-ham-453
We?ve all had difficult, and sometimes horrible things happen to us.
While some people may be luckier than others, it?s rare that anyone goes unscathed. This episode is part of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.
In this episode, Stephanie Foo shares her story of being diagnosed with complex PTSD and how she learned to process her trauma and live with her past. The result of her journey is a new book called What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma.
Stephanie Foo is a journalist and radio producer. Her previous work includes This American Life, The Cut, Reply All, and 99% Invisible. Her writing has been featured in The New York Times and Vox.
In this conversation we talk about:The various therapies, meditation styles, and wellness modalities Stephanie explored to help process her traumaWhat actually worked for her, and how it might be relevant to other survivorsShame, gratitude, and self-loveHer transformative work with Dr. Jacob Ham, who will be featured in another episode this week.
Content Warnings: Discussions of trauma and abuse, references to addiction and mental health challenges. Explicit language.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/stephanie-foo-452
Emotions can feel so personal. Joseph helps you get your feet back under you. Remember: your mind doesn't have to push you around.
About Joseph Goldstein:
Joseph is one of the most respected meditation teachers in the world -- a key architect of the rise of mindfulness in our modern society -- with a sense of humor to boot. In the 1970's, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field. Joseph has been a teacher there since its founding and continues as the resident guiding teacher.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Releasing Moods & Emotions,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=63bba532-84e7-4dd1-a0df-5f734be86239.
Very few of us will live a life without loss.
As part of our Mental Health Reboot series in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, this week?s episodes talk a lot about grieving. Mary-Frances O?Connor, an expert in bereavement research, explores the science of how we grieve and experience loss, whether it?s a job or a loved one.
Mary-Frances O'Connor is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona, where she is also the Director of Clinical Training. And she is the author of a book called The Grieving Brain.
In this episode we talk about:The distinction between grief and grievingHow her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of griefWhether or not we can ever quote/unquote ?get over it?Why she argues for ?a really big toolkit of coping strategies? How to understand the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross todayWhat grieving looks like in a pandemicWhat to say to people who are grievingThe new diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder
Content Warning: Brief mention of suicide.
There is an unstoppable flow of gain and loss within our lives.
Processing this flow helps us to develop equanimity. In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winner and New Yorker staff writer Kathryn Schulz discusses her new book Lost and Found: A Memoir, in which she explores experiencing both a huge loss anda huge gain, and how to live in a world where both happiness and pain commingle.
In this episode we talk about:How humans experience griefA gift you can give to the grievingWhy she loves the clichés that remind us to enjoy the momentHer broad understanding of the term ?loss?Why the key word in ?lost and found? is ?and? What she?s learned about compromising in relationships
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449
Learn to find a feeling of protection and trust during a downpour of stressful thoughts or overwhelm.
About Matthew Hepburn :
Matthew is a meditation and dharma teacher with more than a decade of teaching experience and a passion for getting real about what it means to live well. He emphasizes humor, technique, and authentic kindness as a means to free the mind up from unnecessary struggle and leave a healthier impact on the world.
Beyond Ten Percent Happier, Matthew has taught in prisons, schools, corporate events and continues to teach across North America in buddhist centers offering intensive silent retreats and dharma for urban daily life.
Matthew is the host of the Twenty Percent Happier podcast, where you'll get to eavesdrop on people getting real about the challenges all of us face, and you?ll hear how through meditation, those challenges are transformed.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Shelter in a Storm: Finding Refuge,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=8e3f8e99-e4b3-4c54-b46d-f57647b254db.
How does hope work?
In this episode from the archives, Rutgers University clinical psychologist Dr. Jacqueline Mattis discusses hope from a scientific perspective and how we can cultivate it.
Dr. Mattis, who is also a Dean of faculty at Rutgers, did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically concentrating her field work and interviews in African-American and Afri-Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. And that research ultimately led her to hope.
In this episode we talk about:How her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith The difference between spirituality and religiosity The benefits of hope and skills to cultivate itThe ways hope can go wrongAnd the benefits of denial
How do you find hope in a lifetime that has experienced more trauma than most?
Guest Jonathan Van Ness says that the key is to stay curious and focus on happiness and joy, even if it?s just in a tiny corner.
Jonathan Van Ness is a hairstylist by trade and best known as one of the hosts of the Netflix series Queer Eye. He is also the author of Love That Story and the New York Times bestselling memoir Over the Top, and the host of the podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness.
In this episode we talk about:The universality of processing griefWhat a ?window of tolerance? means Getting curious about shameBody dysmorphiaJVN?s complex and contradictory feelings about shoppingWhat ?parts therapy? or Internal Family Systems therapy isSetting boundariesConnecting and cultivating joy
Content Warning: Explicit language and mentions of sexual abuse, substance amuse, body dysmorphia, and references to sex.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447
This body scan meditation is designed to be simple and relaxing. It's the perfect bedtime companion for a good night's rest.
About Anushka Fernandopulle:
Anushka teaches meditation, works as an organizational consultant, and does leadership coaching with individuals and teams. She has practiced meditation for over 25 years, including four years in full-time intensive training in monasteries and retreat centers in the US, India and Sri Lanka.
Her work is informed by a BA in anthropology/religion from Harvard University, an MBA from Yale focused on leadership and organizational behavior, and certification in coaching from the Coaches Training Institute.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for ?Bedtime Body Scan,? or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=33b34fe4-6b04-43f6-b2cd-51a9bb83fce2.
If you?re trying to improve your sleep, thinking about doing so right before you get into bed might not be the best approach.
Dr. Sara Mednick, is a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, and the author of the new book The Power of the Downstate. This episode is part of our month-long ?Mental Health Reboot? series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.
According to her research, Dr. Mednick says that we need to take a more holistic approach to getting better sleep, and that sleep is just one of the ways that our bodies rest and restore.
In this conversation, we talk about:The nuances of nappingDr. Mednick?s definition of the ?downstate?Whether there are practices that can compensate for poor sleepWhy heart rate variability is an important measurement of healthWhy sex is so helpful for sleepAnd when to take melatonin to best effect
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-mednick-445
Sleep may be the apex predator of healthy habits, so why are so many of us getting terrible sleep?
Guest Diane Macedo launched a very detailed personal investigation in order to fix her sleeping habits and joins us for the first episode of a month-long ?Mental Health Reboot? series we?re doing to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.
Diane Macedo is the author of the new book The Sleep Fix: Practical, Proven, and Surprising Solutions for Insomnia, Snoring, Shift Work, and More. As an ABC News anchor and correspondent, she appears on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and Nightline. She?s also the daytime anchor for ABC News Live.
In this episode we talk about:Key signs that you?re not getting enough sleepDo sleeping pills really workWhen and how to find a sleep specialistHow to deal with performance anxiety around sleep The difference between sleep deprivation and insomniaMindfulness and sleepAnd the biggest sleep myths
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/diane-macedo-444
Most of us have gotten at least a little emotional at some point recently. It?s natural. But why do we have emotions and how much should we pay attention to them on any given day? Can we learn to skillfully choose which emotions to listen to and which ones to just let move on by?
In More Than A Feeling, the latest podcast from Ten Percent Happier, host Saleem Reshamwala goes on a real life quest to find the answers to these questions. He?ll experiment with neuroscientists, dive into stories with historians and philosophers, and document how musicians, therapists, hairdressers and airplane pilots work with emotions.
About Saleem Reshamwala:
Saleem Reshamwala is the host of More Than A Feeling, Ten Percent Happier's podcast about human emotions. He is an Emmy-nominated producer, for his video work on implicit bias with the New York Times, a winner in the Best Music Video category at Harlem's Hip Hop Film Festival, and a mentor for The Sauce Fellowship, a Southern youth digital storytelling program in conjunction with the New Orleans Video Access Center.
Can you become happier, more balanced, and practice equanimity without losing your edge?
Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan?s first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own.
Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein?s first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she?s been training with another Burmese master we?ve talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary.
In this conversation we talk about:What is equanimity?The most common misconception about equanimityThe near and far enemies of equanimity The power and limitations of setting intentions
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kamala-masters-442
Why is it that many men seem unenthusiastic about discussing body image issues?
We take a deep dive into this topic with Aaron Flores, a Los Angeles-based registered dietician and nutritionist, and one of the few men very active in the space of intuitive eating. Aaron talks about how capitalism ties our weight to our worthiness, and his notion that ?our body is not a project.?
In this episode we also discuss:What intuitive eating isHow men experience body image issues, and why they often don?t talk about it The relationship between diet culture and capitalism What ?health at every size? means and why it?s sometimes controversialGuidelines for parents The role of self-compassion when it comes to food
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/aaron-flores-441