Sam Graham-Felsen was not a tough child. He feared violence and didn?t feel that he could stand up for himself when he was bullied. His fear ate away at his confidence; he was afraid to go on dates, afraid to try hard in school. As an adult, he thought he had moved past those fears. But then he started to notice some of those same tendencies in his young son. Sam wanted to change that, so he took his son on a cross-country road trip to Badlands National Park, in search of what Theodore Roosevelt called ?the strenuous life.? Along the way, he found himself wrestling with what it means to be a good man, and to raise a good man.

This week on ?Modern Love,? Sam explains what happened, and how his son changed his own ideas about what it means to be tough.

You can read Sam?s original story in The New York Times Magazine.

?Modern Love? wants to hear from you. What?s the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you? What?s the most romantic thing you?ve ever witnessed? If something made you feel that rush of romance, send us a voice memo, and we may use it on the show. Check out our submission page to learn more.

How to submit a Modern Love Essay to the New York Times

How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Belle Burden was living the kind of life most can only dream of. Born into a wealthy New York family, she married a dashing attorney who had swept her off her feet. The couple had a beautiful apartment in Manhattan, a summer house on Martha?s Vineyard, three children, and what Belle thought was a happy marriage.

Then, after 20 years, with no warning, her husband told her he wanted a divorce. Belle remembers him saying, ?You can have custody of the kids, you can have the house and the apartment. I don't want any part of this life anymore.? In a moment, he became a stranger to her.

As Belle tried to understand the disintegration of her marriage, she made a decision that surprised people close to her: she shared her story with the world. In 2023, she published a Modern Love essay about her experience. Her new book, ?Strangers: a Memoir of Marriage,? reveals more of her story.

On today?s episode, Belle Burden talks about the abrupt and difficult end to her marriage, and how that led her to the start of a new life.

How to submit a Modern Love Essay to the New York Times

How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Explore the trials and tribulations of love in these deeply personal essays. A collaboration of The New York Times and WBUR in Boston, Modern Love: The Podcast features the popular New York Times column, with readings by notable personalities and updates from the essayists themselves. Join host Meghna Chakrabarti (WBUR) and Modern Love editor Daniel Jones (NYT) -- and fall in love at first listen.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.