Janet?s guest is Dr. Tina Payne Bryson. Her new book ?The Way of Play? (co-authored with play therapist Georgie Wisen-Vincent) illustrates how playing with our kids in a receptive manner for even just a few minutes each day helps us to better understand them, while also encouraging their development of social skills, emotional regulation, resilience, and self-confidence. The guidelines Tina and Georgie offer in "The Way of Play" help make connecting through play easy, natural, and fun as well as richly effective for learning and bonding. As Tina explains, "The temptation can be to take over the play or be too instructive or didactic, to think we need to teach all kinds of lessons. But what's really powerful, as we follow our child's lead, is to be able to dive into their world." Janet and Tina do their own deep dive into all of these topics and more. Then they both respond to a letter from a parent struggling with her 4-year-old?s aggressive behaviors.  

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Is it ever okay to say no to our child's requests for closeness or attention, to separate when that makes them upset? What if these requests are frequent, or even seem to evolve into a habit of unreasonable, seemingly over-the-top demands? In this episode Janet responds to two notes from parents who feel they may be in this predicament. One shares that her four-year-old "starts crying hysterically and won't calm down" if the parent doesn't acquiesce to her demands immediately. This parent understandably feels stressed. "It's getting to a ridiculous point, and the demands seem to be growing," she says. "It feels like I'm being held hostage." 

The second mom shares that her two-year-old often cries when she leaves her side, even when her dad is there for her. She wonders if this is a sign her daughter is anxious and if there's something more or different the parents should be doing. 

In both cases, these parents are hoping to help their kids feel more confident and secure, and Janet shares a perspective she believes will help them achieve these goals. 

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Enrichment classes, lessons, sports, Sunday school, and community events like Library Story Time can benefit our kids in many ways, but what do we do if our kids won't cooperate or participate? What if they seem okay with it at first, but then later want to quit? The questions raised by a parent's letter in this podcast are common ones: If our child is clearly distressed by an activity or outright rejecting it?even if they agreed to it to begin with?is it okay to let them stop? Will quitting set a negative precedent? What if we believe the activity is teaching important skills? Whose decision is it? Janet shares her perspective on the subject and offers guidelines for helping parents navigate this puzzling and often frustrating conundrum.

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Janet is joined by inner child healing expert Lavinia Brown, whose previous appearance on "Unruffled" prompted a listener to write in to describe how she's struggled to control her angry and physically punitive responses to her three-year-old son's behavior. Raised in an authoritarian household in which she was spanked whenever she disobeyed, this mom has bravely started making changes. "I'm now convinced that spanking should never be an option," she writes. "I'm also seeing that all of these terrible parenting techniques are not working with my son. If anything, he has learned that it is acceptable to vent his frustrations by trying to hit me, kick me or scratch me." She desperately hopes she can heal her relationship with her son, who lately she noticed flinching in fear, but she worries, "Is it too late?" She also wonders how to get her husband on the same page. He tries to respect her choices but still believes that spanking can be effective. Lavinia and Janet offer their perspectives, suggestions, hope, and assurance that it's never too late for this parent or any parent to make positive, lasting changes in their relationships with their children.  

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Certain behaviors our kids display can really wind us up. In this episode, Janet offers a solution to three common ones. First, tattling?when our kids seem to have the incessant need to tell on friends or siblings for every minor thing they do. As adults, we might label this person as a gossip and steer clear. As parents, we might fear it could eventually lead to our child being alienated from his peers. Second are threats -- when our kids use ultimatums with peers, siblings, or us, like "If you don't do this, I'm going to... " (using their most challenging tone). Should they get away with this? How should we respond? Lastly, Janet covers actual warnings kids give us, like when they say, "I'm going to hit you," or "I'm about to hurt my sister." Shouldn't we be alarmed? Should we scold them and forbid them to say such things? Janet shares her advice on all of this and more in this week's episode! 

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Our child's whining can be the most earsplitting sound imaginable and, unfortunately, our negative reactions to whining can tend to make matters worse. How do we make the whining stop? A parent writes to Janet that her 7-year-old is constantly whining, pouting, and repeatedly asking her mom for new stuff. "Instead of playing with the entire Toys R Us we have in our home, she whines about the things she wants, and seriously, I'm going to lose my mind." Janet offers a perspective she hopes will help this parent and others whose kids won't seem to stop whining. 

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A parent writes to Janet that she's alarmed and heartbroken about the wedge that's developed between her and her 4-year-old son, "a very sweet, genuine, kind little person," due to his increasingly unkind, hurtful behavior. This mom feels she's tried everything and yet her son continues to hit, kick, pinch, scratch, and run away from her and her partner. The boy also makes threats like, "I'm going to punch you," sometimes following through. This mom suspects that two situations may be causing her son's behavior: "His sister is 18 months and speaking in short sentences, which I'm sure is a momentous change for him;" and "he is embroiled in ongoing conflict with two boys in his mixed age Montessori class. I say conflict, but it might be bullying." She's at a total loss and hoping Janet can offer her clarity and perspective. 

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Elsa Chahin, President/CEO of Pikler/Loczy USA, has dedicated herself to carrying on the mission of visionary pediatrician and researcher Dr. Emmi Pikler, which is to promote "respectful and harmonious relationships between the youngest child and the adult." Like Janet, Elsa is also RIE Associate who studied under Pikler protege Magda Gerber. Elsa joins Janet in this episode to discuss the innumerable, proven benefits of allowing babies to develop their motor skills naturally. These benefits include physical competence, self-awareness, judicial risk-taking, inner-directed joyful learning, emotional health, and an enduring belief in themselves as capable people. As Elsa and Janet explain it, trusting our child's natural motor development can even make parenting easier, because all babies need from us are secure, intimate relationships and freedom to move. 

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Parenting and worry seem to go hand-in-hand. Because we care so much, we watch our kids closely and can tend to perceive their traits and behaviors in a needlessly negative, worrisome light. In this episode, Janet explains why traits like sensitivity, bossiness, a toddler's insistence on doing it himself, and another child's seemingly constant need for a parent's validation can all be seen (and approached far more effectively!) as strengths. 

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Janet consults with a distressed parent of two boys who feels stuck in a destructive pattern. She describes how she's struggling with feeling constantly irritated, overwhelmed, and just angry. ?I love my kids more than anything,? she says, ?but they?re driving me crazy.? Janet agrees with the mom that boundaries are a big part the issue and suggests a new approach for her to try. Surprisingly, the solution they come up with is not stricter enforcement, but just the opposite.

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A parent with 2 children, 4 and 1.5-years-old, writes to Janet feeling disappointed and concerned that he's letting his children down. This dad admits that he?s very sensitive to his both children?s emotions, especially if they?re upset. In order to deal with their typical, rambunctious behaviors, he?s attempted to set reasonable boundaries with consequences in terms of dressing, bathing, bedtime, roughhousing, etc. This "If you do that, then... " strategy was effective for a while, he says, but lately seems to have backfired because his four-year-old is now giving him ultimatums. The boy's behaviors have become more extreme, and in response the dad says he threatens unnatural consequences, which leads to tears, more guilt, and on and on. ?I hate the whole cycle,? he says. ?I hate feeling like I?ve let them down. I hate the feeling of being out of control. Mostly, I hate and fear the breaking of trust and the positive relationship that I have with him.? 

Janet offers her suggestions and encouragement. 

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Janet addresses messages from parents who are feeling defeated and helpless in the face of their kids' persistently uncooperative, annoying and, in one case, hurtful behavior. All of these parents admit they are struggling, and that the approaches they've tried just don't seem to be working. 

"... I am constantly getting at my child, telling her 'No, stop that, not so close,' etc., and after a while I get incredibly frustrated as I just need my personal space." 

"My two year old has taken to saying "hate you!" literally 25 plus times a day." 

"I dread having to go anywhere on my own with [my sons] for fear that I will be overwhelmed by their energy and powerless to keep them in-bounds in a way that feels unruffled." 

Janet recommends an overall shift in these parents' approach that she believes will give them the confidence they need to help resolve their issues, and can be applied to almost every behavioral challenge parents face.

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Raising kids is a learning process, and (no doubt) there's a benefit to reflecting on the mistakes we make along the way. But Janet believes we can learn even more when we recognize and appreciate our successes, no matter how inconsequential they might seem to us as the time. Maybe it's the little bit of empathy we felt as we limited one of our child's bothersome behaviors. Or a momentary sense of confidence in ourselves as leaders rising above the fray. Or the realization that we could, just that once, let our child's feelings be without judging them, and then, the increased closeness we felt with our child when those feelings passed. In this episode Janet celebrates YOUR illuminating, inspiring stories, and she's exceedingly grateful to you for allowing her to share them. 

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Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABC's and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: ?Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?? Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning. This is an encore episode.

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In this encore episode, a mom is at her wit's end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and ?is always telling me ?no? and doing things he knows he?s not supposed to be doing.? This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears, feeling like a failure, and then ends up yelling. She?s looking for Janet?s advice how she might deal with her twins? behavior.

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Janet?s guest this week is Neha Ruch, a writer and speaker on parenting, women, work, and identity. Her personal journey from career through parenthood led her to question and ultimately reject society?s stereotypical view of the stay-at-home parent and its limitations, and instead celebrate the possibilities. Neha is the founder of Mother Untitled (.com), which seeks to reimagine parenthood as a pause or ?downshift" and an opportunity to find our passions. Through Mother Untitled, Neha connects a growing community of like minded parents with resources geared to support and further their goals. Her new book, ?The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever? will be out in mid-January.

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Wouldn?t parenting be easier if our kids? behavior was always stellar? Unfortunately, for most of us that isn't the case. It is during those difficult times especially, when our child is tired or hungry or angry (or their behavior just seems terrible and we're mystified as to what's gotten into them), that they need us to be their confident, empathic leader?a role that doesn't always come naturally. In this episode, Janet shares a shortlist of simple reminders for making setting limits with our kids feel more comfortable and organic. Because, as she says, we all deserve to feel successful!  

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By now, we?ve all heard that Step One for effectively addressing our kids' behaviors and emotional storms is to first calm ourselves. Sounds simple, but as Janet has often shared, she believes this to be the biggest challenge we as parents face. Here's good news: Janet's guest this week is dynamic and passionate educator Mr. Chazz, and he has learned a self-calming process that he believes in 100%. Happily, he shares it in detail in this episode and who knows? It may very well come in handy this holiday season! 

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In this encore episode, a parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. ?He asks again and again, ?Happy, mommy?? as if he?s trying to help me be happy.? This mom says that if she admits to her toddler that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her hugs and cuddles and persists in asking if she's happy. While these parents want to foster their child?s empathy and sensitivity, they don?t want him taking on the burden of other people?s emotions. They?re hoping Janet has some advice to help manage this delicate balancing act.

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A mother reaches out to Janet because her 3-year old's behavior has recently become erratic and unpleasant, and she?s struggling to make sense of it. She writes that her boy is strong-willed, smart, kind, high energy and wonderful to be around. But lately he's quick to anger, throws things, screams NO to simple requests, is pushy with his younger sister and gets easily overwhelmed when disappointed. He even behaved wildly and disruptively in a weekly music class he normally enjoys. Janet offers some basic guidelines for responding that she believes can be applied to almost every kind of behavior concern parents face. She hopes you find this helpful! 

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Does the holiday season really need to be so overwhelming? Janet admits she gets caught up in the bustle and excitement of holiday festivities. While her intention every year is to pare down to make more room for meaningful moments with her loved ones, she still finds herself shopping until the last minute for the perfect gift and wrapping into the wee hours of Christmas Day. Janet's more than ready to take off her Santa hat and find ways to do less and enjoy more but doesn't know exactly how to make it happen.  

Happily, this week's guest is inspirational pastor and community leader Ashlee Eiland, who shares loads of wisdom and actionable suggestions for prioritizing joy and meaning in the holidays, for our kids and us.

Follow Ashlee on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/ashlee_eiland/

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Does respectful parenting work? How does it look as our kids get older and more independent? Does our approach to relationship building change and if so, how? Will our early efforts pay off? In response to a listener's questions, Janet discusses the challenges, rewards, and surprises she's experiencing as her three babies have become adults. She shares on topics like boundaries, maintaining closeness, and how she's tried to support her kids through struggles. 

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What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don't or won't? Three families reach out to Janet with concerns about their children's developmental progress. In one case, a 12-month-old doesn't seem interested in crawling, and the parent has been advised to try to make this happen. A second parent expresses her dismay ("I don't know how to undo what I've done!") that her 3-year-old will no longer draw. The child's refusal began when the parent innocently followed her child's request to draw pictures for her. A third parent says that her 3.5-year-old has been ready to use the potty since she was 2 but is "absolutely set on being in diapers forever." Just as with the other two parents, this mom is trying to trust her daughter's process, but her doubts keep seeping in, and she wonders if there's some action she should be taking. 

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In this encore episode, early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child?s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout the U.S. 

Rae's website, contact information, and parenting resources are at https://www.raepica.com, and where you can sign up for her new program for parents "The Truth About Children".

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The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting (in a recent ?New York Times? article) as "painstakingly and methodically cultivating children's talents, academics and futures through everyday interactions and activities." They note that parents are feeling more obligated to provide extracurricular activities for their kids than they did a decade ago and spend more time stimulating and actively playing with them. The jury's out as to whether these kids are benefiting from their parents' efforts, but they are undoubtedly feeling their parents' stress. Janet's view is that intensive parenting teaches kids they need intensive help. She believes that the key to being involved in the most positive manner in kids' lives is to better understand our role?where they need us to be leaders and when they need us to let go and trust them. 

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A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's starting to feel like he's too old to be acting out this way." Janet offers her perspective and suggestions in this episode. 

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Parenting is a tough job and, if you're like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet's recent episode: "Strict is Loving". You've also had questions?lots of questions?in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between too strict and too permissive. Janet addresses many of your questions in this episode, offering her perspective on issues with kids and peers, transitions, behavior during tantrums, intervening with pets, and more. 

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Progress not perfection? Be thankful for what you have? It's okay not to win? Embrace differences... Follow your own path... It's okay to cry... We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with all aspects of parenting, the answers may not be as clear and simple as we expect. Janet offers her perspective and advice in this episode. 

Janet's Facebook discussion on life lessons is here: https://tinyurl.com/46j2bkjy

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Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ?Unruffled? to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" respond but can't remain calm enough to do that in the moment! As Elisabeth explains, our reactions are often indicators of past hurts that need healing, and she inspires us to explore them with curiosity and self-compassion, showing us the way in this episode. 

You can learn more about Elisabeth and access her resources at: BeatingTrauma.com.

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Janet's "all feelings allowed" approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, passive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids' whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them when our rules disappoint can be a set-up for failure for our kids and us. She explains how respectful parenting is actually quite strict, and why, in her view, strict is much kinder and more loving than the alternative, builds better relationships, and encourages lifelong emotional resiliency in our kids.  

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A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler's feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn't teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she?s been following Janet?s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can't help but question if simply acting calm and acknowledging her feelings is the right attitude.   "... This isn't getting better, it's getting worse, and I feel like maybe I'm going down the wrong path or there's something I'm doing wrong." Janet encourages this parent to be more assertive with her own personal boundaries and clarifies what she means when she recommends accepting and acknowledging feelings. 

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Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler's strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset?hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother?and won't be consoled. "When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, 'I know you didn't want me to take that away. I'm so sorry I had to, it was not safe.' I will pick her up and rub her back and she will slap me." Naturally, this mom wonders where such intense, angry reactions from her daughter could be coming from and how to effectively respond.  

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Starting a new school, going back to school, or starting daycare is one of the most challenging transitions for our kids ?and us?at this early stage of their lives. It means a new routine, new caregivers and friends, and many unknowns. It?s normal for both parent and child to feel some trepidation, and it?s rare that our child will accept all the changes willingly or gracefully. Usually, we can expect some strong expression of feeling in the home either before, during, or after the transition?short fuses, prickliness, whining, crying, tantrums?and these feelings may linger for many months. For our part, as parents, it?s difficult not to feel guilty and question our decisions when our child seems so unsettled. Janet has three suggestions that can make this important time in our lives easier for all of us.  

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When our kids' behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we're missing? There's often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer.  In this episode, Janet responds to notes from parents who have become alarmed by their kids' recent behavior. One child seems hooked on playing that he's a "bad guy" and becomes physically aggressive. Another tells his parents he wants to hurt them. A third is sneaking food and even medicine. These parents are unerringly patient and empathetic, but nothing seems to work. One parent writes: ?It's been getting more intense over the past several months, and I really want it to stop, but I don't know how. Am I doing something wrong?? Janet has an idea for what they may be missing, and she explains how it applies in each of these families' situation.

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When we're concerned about our kids' behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we're not in harmony with them ? the solution almost certainly comes down to "less." In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the seminal parenting guide ?Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.? The book has been aptly described as ?a manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood,? and there is much of Kim?s science-backed approach which supports and complements Janet?s. In their view, our fast-paced, competitive culture (?too much, too soon?) takes the joy out of parenting and can overwhelm our children, causing anxiety, insecurity, and many common behavioral problems. Kim and Janet discuss how the power of less can create the family life we always imagined and allow children to thrive.

Kim John Payne's resources are at: SimplicityParenting.com/

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Children are innately driven to play, and the benefits are enormous. They're also driven to seek our attention and connection, so how can we encourage our kids' play without becoming their constant playmate? In this episode Janet dispels seven common misunderstandings that make the lifelong habit (and gift) of self-directed play much more challenging to foster. She suggests helpful alternatives that not only encourage play, but also bolster self-esteem and strengthen parent-child bonds. 

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Our child?s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids? rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, and affection are offered. One parent writes: ?Sometimes his feelings are too much for us. It's hard when the entire day is ruined because you said no to a cookie at 7:00 AM.? Another mom says her 4-year-old has started spitting, biting, and hitting in pre-school. He?s recently acquired a baby brother, which explains a lot, but she says, ?it would be easier if he was screaming and crying and having a meltdown. I can handle that, but when it comes out in a way that hurts others, I struggle.? Janet has several suggestions for these parents both in the way they are responding to their kids and in their perceptions of their respective storms.

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Potty training is always an adventure, and it can be a confusing, sometimes frustrating experience. There are countless books on the subject, and there's plenty of advice from both experts and well-meaning friends and family. Since every child?s process is unique to them and depends on so many internal and external influences, it?s difficult to find a one-size-fits-all approach. In this episode, Janet responds to several questions from parents whose kids are having difficulties using the toilet. The parents describe pitfalls they're encountering and various strategies they?ve tried, but to no avail. Janet offers her pov on the subject and explains how her approach can accomplish more than basic potty learning ? it can also relieve the associated pressures both parent and child experience, with the bonus of giving the child a sense of autonomy, accomplishment, and confidence.  

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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A parent consults with Janet about her one-year-old who screams, cries, "loses it anytime he?s picked up and moved to do something else or is told he can?t go somewhere.? She's concerned that it's too early for this type of behavior, wonders how to respond and if she?s doing something wrong. Janet shares her perspective and offers specific advice for handling his resistance to diaper changes, separation, and more. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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In this encore episode Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children?s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives.

More to learn in this episode:

For more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.

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Does your family have any extra downtime this summer? This may be the perfect time to introduce your kids to some simple, giggle-inducing, creative games to play anytime and almost anywhere. I have ideas for you! These are games my kids begged me to play over and over again that would never fail to crack me up too, and even became family lore. Some of these you've definitely heard of, others my kids and I invented. None are about winning, losing, screens, or making any sort of product, just learning (without realizing it) and lots of FUN. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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A whining child can show relentless persistence and stamina, can wear away at our will to hold our ground, maintain boundaries, and our temper. We may lose confidence and second guess ourselves: Am I doing something wrong? Am I being too rigid? Maybe I can put off my shower for an hour and play blocks. Why not ice cream for breakfast?  Anything to stop the whining. Janet answers questions from some whine-weary parents, explains the why behind the whine, and how we can help our children (and ourselves!).  

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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A parent worries her 3-year-old needs more connection, but the attention that she and her partner give him never seems to be enough, even when they make themselves available for play. He demands they play a certain way, sometimes refuses to participate, throws his toys and has tantrums when they try to hold their ground. "The play ends up becoming him just wanting to watch us play and he stops engaging," the mom says. "Any advice you can give on how to navigate these reactions from him when we can't or won't play would be much appreciated because I find for the most part I just freeze and can't think of anything to say."

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Tilt Parenting founder Debbie Reber joins Janet to discuss the unique challenges families face as they learn to understand and support a child with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, giftedness, processing challenges, twice-exceptionality, or other neurodifferences. While Debbie's advice is especially powerful for parents of neurodivergent kids, her insights will resonate with every parent. As she says, ?None of us are parenting the kid that we expected.? Later in this episode, Debbie responds to a note from a parent who is concerned about her son yelling "Stop!" when adults ask him seemingly benign questions. The parent wants to help him be more comfortable in the world but doesn?t know how.  

Debbie's resources are available at: TiltParenting.com

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We all want our kids to proceed through life with confidence as they develop physically, mentally, and emotionally. Because we care so much, it can be difficult for us to watch them struggle when faced with a challenge or a new skill. It's especially tough to see them becoming so frustrated that they give up or refuse to even try in the first place, even when we've done all we can to encourage them. 

In this episode, Janet shares a helpful reframe and actionable guidelines for fostering our kids' healthy persistence, and then responds to some specific situations parents recently shared with her: a child getting too frustrated when attempting anything challenging; a 3-year-old who refuses to draw and insists her parent do it for her; and a 5-year-old who falls apart if he loses a game.

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Our kids' behavior can mystifying, aggravating, worrying, and sometimes even infuriating. While the answers for resolving our concerns tend to be specific and unique to each particular situation, there are also general themes that can guide us. Janet explores one such theme in this week's episode and explains how it applies to 3 different situations parents have written to her about. 

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We all experience difficult moments with our kids, and it?s not uncommon for us to lose confidence in ourselves or feel stuck. Need a parenting boost? In this special episode, Janet shares 7 of her go-to parenting power tools, mindsets, and mantras geared to help you focus your energies most effectively and (if needed) make positive, lasting changes in your approach. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Janet shares a success story from a parent who describes her shame, heartbreak, "the heavy emotional load" she carried for the first 4 years of her son's life as he vehemently rejected her care, preferring his father. After reading one of Janet's articles, this mom began to see her son's behavior in a whole new light and improve her situation almost immediately. "I am now confident that whatever happens?whatever my son will throw at me (even when he hits puberty)?I can handle it." 

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If you're the parent of young children, there's a good chance you are very hard on yourself. Australian parenting guru Maggie Dent joins Janet in this episode of ?Unruffled? to discuss the unprecedented pressures and challenges today's parents face living up to ever-changing standards set by social media, peers, and even schools. Parents are often left feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. Maggie and Janet share their long view perspectives, experiences, advice, and hope.  

Maggie shares her extensive resources at: MaggieDent.com. 

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With our most loving intentions as parents, we might find ourselves stuck in a full-time role we never wanted?as our child's playmate and entertainer. In this episode, a mom asks Janet for advice regarding her "bright, busy, extroverted four-year-old girl who loves having my complete attention.? Unfortunately, this parent is feeling she really needs some time to herself, but when she tries to take a break, her daughter is unwilling to let her go and seems anxious and insecure, as if this is a personal rejection.

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